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thebookemperor's review
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
nermin's review against another edition
4.0
This is outspoken, it tells the story of Arab women, in one way or another a girl or a woman would relate to the story of Dalhia. The story packs many issues in it which what was great, the patriarchy of the family and society, the cage of norms ! All well reflected here.
thelittlefriend's review against another edition
2.0
First read in my Read Around the World-series: Kuwait
annelies's review against another edition
4.0
Beautiful and sometimes distressing, the writing invites you deep, deep into the narrator's mind.
fatima_zubair's review against another edition
4.0
4.5 stars.
"How much damage do parents do, unintentional though it may be? A word that cleaves the psyche, a withheld embrace that ripples through generations, an episode that festers like an open wound. Might these things not be so easily avoided if we all just scattered ourselves to the wind?"
"Though it was a pleasant enough day, men in suits and dishdashas hurried across the road, trying to get to their destinations before they started to sweat. I wondered how many of them were happy, how many were resigned, how many were as bored as I was, how many wished for something more and if any were in the process of attaining it. I wondered how many of them had no idea how miserable they were."
"When something traumatic happens at a formative age, it stops that development – not even stunting it, but sending it branching off in a whole other direction, making you someone you might never have otherwise been. Some of your traits might survive, some might evolve and adapt to your new circumstances, but some are sure to die away, to wither into indiscernible nothings."
BOOK REVIEW
The book is set in Kuwait and revolves around a woman named Daliyah her life struggles. It is a contemporary fiction and cover the erratic and stupid culture of South East Asia where women are treated as a marriage material and their life as a person doesn't matter unless they have gotten married because apparently marriage is considered some kind of a trophy (I am not denying even a word of it because this happens in my family as well) but it doesn't stop there, a woman must bore a baby in her first year of marriage because that's how it is done!
.
Dahliah has a good job and she is an independent women money, only she cannot take her life decisions herself (the irony!) But again she hasn't done enough as her sister has because she denies all the proposals and her mother and father are worried sick as she is getting too old and no man would choose her as his spouse (the labels society put on us!), other than that she has a god job in a respectable field and her salary is commemdabel as well. She and her friends have made a pact when they were young that they would all get married by a certain age and only she is the one who hasn't abide by it.
.
What's more? she has a traumatic past and it has changed her in many seen and unseen ways and her demons still come to choke her at night but her parents are in denial (oh they know what is that buy still!) or they think one can heal from such wounds.
.
Dahliah want to do something different. She want to have her individual identity where there would be expectations to fulfill and she want to know more about herself because she doesn't relate to other girls and women. And she sure as hell doesn't want to get married.
.
While reading this, I thought the author has penned down my story in some way or the other. Because honestly our societal standards are cringe worthy. Almost all the things are relatable. How being a modern has nothing to do with permitting your girl to go anywhere or let her wear anything she like or let her study whatever she want to but rather listening to her and respecting her choices when it comes to her life and her choices in terms of marriage. It is actually the society and its rotten roots as they refuse to budge and literally keep track of what a girl or a woman does in her life.
.
Although, at the end, a couple of things happened that I didn't quite like and I can say the author wanted to show things this way because parents don't understand that you can't boss around your 30 year old spawn.
.
All in all, it is a great read. If you want to read about Arabic culture with a touch south-east asian customs mixed with modern norms then this is the perfect book for you. Also, if you are a feminist then, a must read indeed!
"How much damage do parents do, unintentional though it may be? A word that cleaves the psyche, a withheld embrace that ripples through generations, an episode that festers like an open wound. Might these things not be so easily avoided if we all just scattered ourselves to the wind?"
"Though it was a pleasant enough day, men in suits and dishdashas hurried across the road, trying to get to their destinations before they started to sweat. I wondered how many of them were happy, how many were resigned, how many were as bored as I was, how many wished for something more and if any were in the process of attaining it. I wondered how many of them had no idea how miserable they were."
"When something traumatic happens at a formative age, it stops that development – not even stunting it, but sending it branching off in a whole other direction, making you someone you might never have otherwise been. Some of your traits might survive, some might evolve and adapt to your new circumstances, but some are sure to die away, to wither into indiscernible nothings."
BOOK REVIEW
The book is set in Kuwait and revolves around a woman named Daliyah her life struggles. It is a contemporary fiction and cover the erratic and stupid culture of South East Asia where women are treated as a marriage material and their life as a person doesn't matter unless they have gotten married because apparently marriage is considered some kind of a trophy (I am not denying even a word of it because this happens in my family as well) but it doesn't stop there, a woman must bore a baby in her first year of marriage because that's how it is done!
.
Dahliah has a good job and she is an independent women money, only she cannot take her life decisions herself (the irony!) But again she hasn't done enough as her sister has because she denies all the proposals and her mother and father are worried sick as she is getting too old and no man would choose her as his spouse (the labels society put on us!), other than that she has a god job in a respectable field and her salary is commemdabel as well. She and her friends have made a pact when they were young that they would all get married by a certain age and only she is the one who hasn't abide by it.
.
What's more? she has a traumatic past and it has changed her in many seen and unseen ways and her demons still come to choke her at night but her parents are in denial (oh they know what is that buy still!) or they think one can heal from such wounds.
.
Dahliah want to do something different. She want to have her individual identity where there would be expectations to fulfill and she want to know more about herself because she doesn't relate to other girls and women. And she sure as hell doesn't want to get married.
.
While reading this, I thought the author has penned down my story in some way or the other. Because honestly our societal standards are cringe worthy. Almost all the things are relatable. How being a modern has nothing to do with permitting your girl to go anywhere or let her wear anything she like or let her study whatever she want to but rather listening to her and respecting her choices when it comes to her life and her choices in terms of marriage. It is actually the society and its rotten roots as they refuse to budge and literally keep track of what a girl or a woman does in her life.
.
Although, at the end, a couple of things happened that I didn't quite like and I can say the author wanted to show things this way because parents don't understand that you can't boss around your 30 year old spawn.
.
All in all, it is a great read. If you want to read about Arabic culture with a touch south-east asian customs mixed with modern norms then this is the perfect book for you. Also, if you are a feminist then, a must read indeed!
pagesandpetrichor_shaahima's review
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
4.75
maryjmartin's review against another edition
3.0
If you are looking a fiction yet incredibly eye opening insight into a culture which you are maybe not aware of then I throughly recommend this book. It didn’t grip me until the last 100 pages when it started to become more fast pasted but I really enjoyed reading about a culture which I knew about but didn’t appreciate
abbie_'s review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
If you’re looking for a quick contemporary read that tackles tough issues, consider The Pact We Made by Layla AlAmmar. Content warning for sexual assault and child abuse, so tread carefully, but this book sheds light on the issue of sexual assault and trauma in a conservative society.
.
Dahlia, approaching 30, is being pressured by her mother and Kuwaiti society at large to marry. But no one outside her family knows about the trauma she’s grappled with since she was 15, which is impacting her decisions and life choices. She feels like she can’t talk about her past though, since her family’s honour would be put at risk in the patriarchal society they live in.
.
I loved @zubscovered’s review of this one, as she points out that the book doesn’t try to make sweeping (and harmful) generalisations about Arab women. This is the story of one woman, Dahlia, her trauma, and the courageous way she processes it and lives her life with and beyond that trauma.
.
I thought Dahlia, her mother and father were very well developed, but two other main characters, Dahlia’s friends Mona and Zaina, did feel a bit lacking. There was space to expand on their storylines and personalities more, I didn’t feel like they added much to the story in the end.
.
Nevertheless, it is one I’d recommend especially if you like MeToo stories and are looking to expand your perspectives!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child abuse, Incest, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide attempt
n_asyikin_'s review
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Depicted the consequences of patriachy & conservatism on a victim of sexual assault via the continual re-traumatizing from victim blaming.
At times, I did think that Dahlia's perspective bordered on orientalism, i.e., misplacing criticism about the issue on hand (e.g. the seeming implication that Western culture will provide her with solutions). But, she was entraped with processing her trauma. So nuances relating to criticism of a culture were something you're not gonna get with this book despite it being quite a central element. That being said, this book was more of a statement , of an account, rather than an analysis of such element.
Ableist language was used to depict Dahlia's attempt at processing what she'd been through, influenced by the stigma relating to mental illness. The pervasiveness of ableism extended in how the society (e.g. her family & school) treated her as if she was a secret to be kept instead of a person needing care; a lot of what Dahlia went through were unfortunately common in this ableist world.
"The Pact We Made" depicted the gruelling process of what happened after a trauma. The eloquent narration rooted in introspection, often working in beautiful metaphors, showed views relating to the consequence of societal failure to protect its individuals particular when the society valued them unequally.
At times, I did think that Dahlia's perspective bordered on orientalism, i.e., misplacing criticism about the issue on hand (e.g. the seeming implication that Western culture will provide her with solutions). But, she was entraped with processing her trauma. So nuances relating to criticism of a culture were something you're not gonna get with this book despite it being quite a central element. That being said, this book was more of a statement , of an account, rather than an analysis of such element.
Ableist language was used to depict Dahlia's attempt at processing what she'd been through, influenced by the stigma relating to mental illness. The pervasiveness of ableism extended in how the society (e.g. her family & school) treated her as if she was a secret to be kept instead of a person needing care; a lot of what Dahlia went through were unfortunately common in this ableist world.
"The Pact We Made" depicted the gruelling process of what happened after a trauma. The eloquent narration rooted in introspection, often working in beautiful metaphors, showed views relating to the consequence of societal failure to protect its individuals particular when the society valued them unequally.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Suicide attempt, Ableism, and Mental illness
Minor: Self harm
maryjmartin's review
3.0
If you are looking a fiction yet incredibly eye opening insight into a culture which you are maybe not aware of then I throughly recommend this book. It didn’t grip me until the last 100 pages when it started to become more fast pasted but I really enjoyed reading about a culture which I knew about but didn’t appreciate