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peteski_au's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Mental illness, Medical trauma, Injury/Injury detail, Body shaming, Abandonment, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt, Pedophilia, Incest, Homophobia, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Dysphoria, Terminal illness, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, Physical abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Misogyny, Medical content, Hate crime, Drug use, Adult/minor relationship, Violence, Child abuse, Rape, Domestic abuse, Sexual violence, Sexual content, Eating disorder, and Drug abuse
illbefinealone's review
5.0
All We Knew But Couldn't Say is unputdownable and gut wrenching at the same time.
Mrs. Vannicola talks about about growing up and maturing in some of the most horrific circumstances. When she talks about the abuse she endured it isn't easy to read, not with how well she encapsulates it. But I can't help but admire her bravery in sharing it all, especially with how poised this book is.
It's beautifully written. It's raw and emotional. It's powerful throughout.
It's an important book.
Mrs. Vannicola talks about about growing up and maturing in some of the most horrific circumstances. When she talks about the abuse she endured it isn't easy to read, not with how well she encapsulates it. But I can't help but admire her bravery in sharing it all, especially with how poised this book is.
It's beautifully written. It's raw and emotional. It's powerful throughout.
It's an important book.
isirla's review against another edition
5.0
Such a strong portrait of love, pain, loss and discovering oneself!! As difficult as some parts were to listen to, I loved every moment listening about how Joanne overcame huge obstacles and chose to live her truth as a lesbian actor. Joanne, I salute you for all the hard work you've done and continue to do as an advocate for the LGBTQIA+ Community xox
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Cancer, Child abuse, Mental illness, Addiction, Body shaming, Death of parent, Drug use, Fatphobia, Gaslighting, Bullying, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Incest, Mass/school shootings, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Drug abuse, Homophobia, Grief, Lesbophobia, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Terminal illness, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, and Violence
wilduniversechild's review
4.0
Quality of Writing: 9/10
Pace: 10/10
Plot Development: N/A
Characters: N/A
Enjoyability: 8/10
Insightfulness: 10/10
Ease of Reading: 7/10
Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
So, I don't normally put trigger warnings, but you will have a hard time reading this book if you are sensitive to the following: eating disorders, suicide, child abuse, sexual abuse, or child prostitution.
I had never heard of Joanne Vannicola until I received this Advanced Reader Copy through NetGalley, but I definitely have an appreciation for her now. It is difficult to imagine someone having such an unimaginably troubled life, but I know that it can happen. This book was so hard to read knowing that all the events she listed really did happen. I felt frustrated and I wanted to scream at certain points.
The book itself if very well written, with smooth transitions between the hospital room and her memories. The imagery was crisp and clear, and I felt like I was there with her. I do wish we learned a few more things about her mother at the end of the book. (Spoilers in bold!) I wish we learned more about Dot and Luke and who they were or are. I wish we learned more about the girls pursuing DNA tests to find out if their dad is actually related to them.
This book is nonfiction though, so I cannot ask more from the author than what she can give.
I will say that her epilogue felt a lot like an acknowledgements page and was pretty repetitive, but I was pleased with the writing in the rest of the book. Vannicola keeps readers hooked by promising them something in the beginning, but only hinting at the details until the end. She didn't do it in an annoying way though. She gave us just enough to keep us reading and concerned for where the narrative was going next.
Overall, if you can handle the triggers, it was a very good book.
Pace: 10/10
Plot Development: N/A
Characters: N/A
Enjoyability: 8/10
Insightfulness: 10/10
Ease of Reading: 7/10
Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
So, I don't normally put trigger warnings, but you will have a hard time reading this book if you are sensitive to the following: eating disorders, suicide, child abuse, sexual abuse, or child prostitution.
I had never heard of Joanne Vannicola until I received this Advanced Reader Copy through NetGalley, but I definitely have an appreciation for her now. It is difficult to imagine someone having such an unimaginably troubled life, but I know that it can happen. This book was so hard to read knowing that all the events she listed really did happen. I felt frustrated and I wanted to scream at certain points.
The book itself if very well written, with smooth transitions between the hospital room and her memories. The imagery was crisp and clear, and I felt like I was there with her. I do wish we learned a few more things about her mother at the end of the book. (Spoilers in bold!) I wish we learned more about Dot and Luke and who they were or are. I wish we learned more about the girls pursuing DNA tests to find out if their dad is actually related to them.
This book is nonfiction though, so I cannot ask more from the author than what she can give.
I will say that her epilogue felt a lot like an acknowledgements page and was pretty repetitive, but I was pleased with the writing in the rest of the book. Vannicola keeps readers hooked by promising them something in the beginning, but only hinting at the details until the end. She didn't do it in an annoying way though. She gave us just enough to keep us reading and concerned for where the narrative was going next.
Overall, if you can handle the triggers, it was a very good book.
estark16's review
4.0
Joanne Vannicola's heart-wrenching memoir is bound to make you uncomfortable, sad, and angry, and it will find its way into your thoughts at random moments of the day.
Vannicola's childhood was far from normal. Between the topics of child abuse (including sexual abuse), violence, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and suicide, this certainly was a depressing read. If you're very sensitive, you may want to wait until you can handle the subject matter. Nonetheless, it's an important book and I think anyone could get something out of it.
Most importantly, this book is about recovery from all of those horrific events and circumstances. Vannicola is a successful actress and a champion for LGBTQ+ rights. She's respected. She's strong. Her story shows that there is still hope in dismal odds.
Keep in mind this is a memoir from an actress, not an author. It's true there are some odd quirks in the writing, but don't let that subtract from the story. It's really a three-and-a-half star book, but rounded up to four stars.
Thank you to Janne Vannicola, Dundurn, and NetGalley for allowing me access to an eARC to review. As always, all opinions are my own.
Vannicola's childhood was far from normal. Between the topics of child abuse (including sexual abuse), violence, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and suicide, this certainly was a depressing read. If you're very sensitive, you may want to wait until you can handle the subject matter. Nonetheless, it's an important book and I think anyone could get something out of it.
Most importantly, this book is about recovery from all of those horrific events and circumstances. Vannicola is a successful actress and a champion for LGBTQ+ rights. She's respected. She's strong. Her story shows that there is still hope in dismal odds.
Keep in mind this is a memoir from an actress, not an author. It's true there are some odd quirks in the writing, but don't let that subtract from the story. It's really a three-and-a-half star book, but rounded up to four stars.
Thank you to Janne Vannicola, Dundurn, and NetGalley for allowing me access to an eARC to review. As always, all opinions are my own.
canary20's review
3.0
I feel bad for this actress/person and what she went through but I have no idea what the point of this book was. I was expecting some horrible horrible details and to get dragged into this cluster of her life and really it was just a book about how her dad was horrible to her and her mom one day asked her to get into bed with her while the mom was naked. Then how she stood on her own two feet and now is a comfortable lesbian woman who is an advocate for others in the LGQTB+ community. Her story was written well, just not sure why it had to be written. I think I lost something that was supposed to be poignant and I didn't get it. Received this book as an ARC and I am voluntarily giving my review. I am giving it 3 stars as she put her life out there even if I didn't care for the book.
iamgoodatlosing's review
4.0
At times a very difficult read, but definitely worthy of your time. Full of reflections on the past and present problems in our society, as well as the film industry. Content includes graphic depictions of physical and sexual abuse, though, so steer clear if that's not something you're comfortable with
laceybeanreads's review
5.0
Received a copy through NetGalley for review purposes. All opinions are my own.
This memoir discusses trauma and how it carries into generations. Joanne Vannicola gets a call that her mother is dying from cancer. She has been estranged from her mother for fifteen years, and has questions that need to be answered.
All We Knew But Couldn't Say is the questioning of why did things happen the way they did, and sometimes not receiving the direct answers that one may need.
The book starts with the dynamic of a physically abusive father and emotionally/sexually abusive mother who target their daughters. One gets taken by Children's Aid, another gets kicked out. Joanne is forced to leave at fourteen.
Joanne is an actress. Her mother tells her that she has hired an image consultant.
There are many moments that shocked me in this book, and a heaviness that carried me throughout.
This book also discusses the path of self-acceptance regarding Joanne's sexuality, and her defiance of portraying heterosexual roles when she wasn't heterosexual.
All We Knew But Couldn't Say will be released on June 25, 2019.
This memoir discusses trauma and how it carries into generations. Joanne Vannicola gets a call that her mother is dying from cancer. She has been estranged from her mother for fifteen years, and has questions that need to be answered.
All We Knew But Couldn't Say is the questioning of why did things happen the way they did, and sometimes not receiving the direct answers that one may need.
The book starts with the dynamic of a physically abusive father and emotionally/sexually abusive mother who target their daughters. One gets taken by Children's Aid, another gets kicked out. Joanne is forced to leave at fourteen.
Joanne is an actress. Her mother tells her that she has hired an image consultant.
There are many moments that shocked me in this book, and a heaviness that carried me throughout.
This book also discusses the path of self-acceptance regarding Joanne's sexuality, and her defiance of portraying heterosexual roles when she wasn't heterosexual.
All We Knew But Couldn't Say will be released on June 25, 2019.
slbeckmann's review
3.0
Thank you to Dundum and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
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Trigger warning: contains graphic descriptions of eating disorders, sexual abuse, violence and suicide.
********************************
This book recounts the horrific childhood and young adulthood of the author and her siblings. They were raised in a family where neither parent nurtured or nourished their children. Instead, violence, abuse and inexplicable events (from the point of view of children) shape their lives.
This was a very hard book to read, but I do feel it is important that the author shares her story. I feel that the telling breaks the power and the hold that familial history held over the author, and it may have been cathartic for her to look back. I hope this book is a step toward making peace with a personal history over which she had no control.
********************************
Trigger warning: contains graphic descriptions of eating disorders, sexual abuse, violence and suicide.
********************************
This book recounts the horrific childhood and young adulthood of the author and her siblings. They were raised in a family where neither parent nurtured or nourished their children. Instead, violence, abuse and inexplicable events (from the point of view of children) shape their lives.
This was a very hard book to read, but I do feel it is important that the author shares her story. I feel that the telling breaks the power and the hold that familial history held over the author, and it may have been cathartic for her to look back. I hope this book is a step toward making peace with a personal history over which she had no control.