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50 reviews for:
Why Him? Why Her?: Understanding Your Personality Type and Finding the Perfect Match
Helen Fisher
3.6 AVERAGE
50 reviews for:
Why Him? Why Her?: Understanding Your Personality Type and Finding the Perfect Match
Helen Fisher
3.6 AVERAGE
I was thinking "Ridiculous title -- and not *another* personality system!" -- but it turned out to be interesting and valuable. Plus I discovered that lots of my friends had heard of Helen Fisher, from a Ted talk she did, so I had some fun conversations about it. And, I guess I'll admit that I took away a lot of good tips about relationships, not just romantic but with anyone. I'm always fascinated to think about how people may be wired differently and how to work with them most smoothly -- I don't think I've ever encountered a personality system I didn't feel compelled to master (Fisher would say that's my "Negotiator" personality type at work!).
The brain science behind the author's work in studies about relationships and as a designing consultant for Match.com and Chemistry.com is interesting -- each of her personality types is associated with a different brain chemical, and studies have correlated the different chemicals with different human behaviors.
If you're reading this and we're friends, I probably have opinions on what your primary and secondary types are, according to this, so feel free to ask :)
The brain science behind the author's work in studies about relationships and as a designing consultant for Match.com and Chemistry.com is interesting -- each of her personality types is associated with a different brain chemical, and studies have correlated the different chemicals with different human behaviors.
If you're reading this and we're friends, I probably have opinions on what your primary and secondary types are, according to this, so feel free to ask :)
informative
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
I am always fascinated by what attracts us to and repels us from others, and this book looks scientifically at the chemicals in our brains that influence our personalities and help determine what we are looking for in a good mate and partner.
This book was so fascinating and thought provoking in terms of brain and body chemistry... I recommend it even if you're happily partnered with someone :)
This book was so fascinating and thought provoking in terms of brain and body chemistry... I recommend it even if you're happily partnered with someone :)
This book saved my relationship. Dr. Fisher is the leading expert in loveology (yes, I just made that up) but seriously, she has spent years studying why and how we love and with this book she's finally figured out how we tick and which personalities are better suited for each other. Turns out I was already with the "right" person for my personality, I just need to better understand the way he does things versus the way I do things. This book served as the owner's manual we wish we had when we first got together six years ago.
In addition to helping my relationship, it also helped me understand other people as well, such as my boss and co-workers. I find myself trying to figure out which personality type people have. The book includes the personality questionnaire, but you can also find the same questionnaire on Dr. Fisher's Anatomy of Love website.
In addition to helping my relationship, it also helped me understand other people as well, such as my boss and co-workers. I find myself trying to figure out which personality type people have. The book includes the personality questionnaire, but you can also find the same questionnaire on Dr. Fisher's Anatomy of Love website.
Useful and insightful. Some things were entirely new, and well presented. I could see patterns from past relationships, both successful and unsuccessful, in what was written about. Enjoyable for anyone interested in how and why people come together and why it does or doesn't work out.
I'll admit I skipped the very last couple of pages. I'm interested in biology and studying attraction, I do not want dating tips. And the last part of it felt like I was reading a self-help book, which is awful. I was very, very excited to read this book because I like Helen Fisher (I've seen her TED Talks, I've read a lot about her research and I'm a builder), but this was so tedious for me. She was telling us the same thing over and over and over again, and it was just a disappointment.
Picked up this book based on a suggestion that it interacts nicely with MBTI. Meh.
It puts people in four categories and explains why they love the way they do. It was interesting, but boring all at the same time. Written by the woman who is the scientific adviser for Chemistry.com, a dating website
It puts people in four categories and explains why they love the way they do. It was interesting, but boring all at the same time. Written by the woman who is the scientific adviser for Chemistry.com, a dating website
Helen Fisher separates people into four personality types based on a dominant chemical in the brain and the character it brings out. We have the dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen systems which correlate to the Explorer, Builder, Director and Negotiator. You take the test and tally up your score which gives you your Primary and Secondary type.
PRO of the book: It really sunk in for me that there truly are radically different personality types that each function and thrive in different ways. So often in my relationship I had been stumped at how to get my boyfriend to see things my way as if it was the only way. Fisher's personality type analysis helped me to be more open to a potential partner's different way of processing/seeing the world.
CONs: Fisher gives examples of transgender individuals' different reactions to hormones (upon taking testosterone, a trans man reported to "missing seeing the bigger picture" for example) I didn't like how she failed to use the post-hormone pronoun, referring to the above trans man in the same sentence as "she".
She analyzes each personality type at first as a Primary type, then she states that our Secondary type is also important and so she analyzes the secondary type in relation to each Primary type, and by the end, she takes us through every single possible relationship type. Explorer-explorer, explorer-builder, explorer-negotiator, and on an on. By the time I got to that point in the book, it was starting to sound repetitive to me. I felt like I had gotten the gist by then of each personality type.
PS. Fisher emphasizes throughout that biology is only half of the story of how one will end up choosing a partner, and how important life experiences and our environment growing up are! So, if you enjoy pop science but are weary of biological determinism, don't be deterred!!!
PRO of the book: It really sunk in for me that there truly are radically different personality types that each function and thrive in different ways. So often in my relationship I had been stumped at how to get my boyfriend to see things my way as if it was the only way. Fisher's personality type analysis helped me to be more open to a potential partner's different way of processing/seeing the world.
CONs: Fisher gives examples of transgender individuals' different reactions to hormones (upon taking testosterone, a trans man reported to "missing seeing the bigger picture" for example) I didn't like how she failed to use the post-hormone pronoun, referring to the above trans man in the same sentence as "she".
She analyzes each personality type at first as a Primary type, then she states that our Secondary type is also important and so she analyzes the secondary type in relation to each Primary type, and by the end, she takes us through every single possible relationship type. Explorer-explorer, explorer-builder, explorer-negotiator, and on an on. By the time I got to that point in the book, it was starting to sound repetitive to me. I felt like I had gotten the gist by then of each personality type.
PS. Fisher emphasizes throughout that biology is only half of the story of how one will end up choosing a partner, and how important life experiences and our environment growing up are! So, if you enjoy pop science but are weary of biological determinism, don't be deterred!!!
Read selective chapters this after taking the quiz at the beginning. If you're interested in personality types, you'll probably enjoy this one - if you want to learn about your own personality, the sections on your type will probably be interesting.
Theories about why we are attracted to certain people based on our/their personality type (Director/Builder/Explorer/Negotiator) -- this stuff fascinates me.