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rebeccaquinton's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, and Gaslighting
wardenred's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
Places are never just places in a piece of writing. If they are, the author has failed. Setting is not inert. It is activated by point of view.
This was a really difficult read for me, mostly because of the subject matter. The other did an excellent job conveying how it feels to be living in an abusive relationship: the visceral lack of safety, the walking on eggshells, the losing touch with what's real about your own self. This is a prime example of why memoirs as a genre fascinate me: I can't imagine how brave a person must be to write about these experiences so candidly.
The narrative isn't quite linear, just like both the recovery from this sort of trauma and the trajectories of getting into this sort of situations are never quite linear. The whole book reads almost as a collection of essays or journal entries, but they do form a complete story of a terrible, awful, no good relationship. There are a lot of metaphors and similes here, and the prose is flowery and lush; in some ways, all of that provides a kind of barrier between what's being described and the reader, but in other ways, it makes the subject matter hit harder.
I don't expect to ever re-read this book, because getting exposed to some things once is perfectly enough, but I believe it will live rent-free in my head for a while. Especially the part about fantasizing about death because you forget just leaving is possible. Or the cockroaches in the clock. Or that poor snail. Or the phone that call that wasn't, after all, a break-up. Or, or, or.
And I've also written out a number of quotes, because damn, the prose here is so unfairly beautiful, with those perfectly placed words, and the rhythm, and the alliterations. I wish I was capable of crafting sentences like that.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Homophobia
Minor: Fatphobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
newsboyhat's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
Machado’s memoir is gorgeously crafted and fiercely brilliant. She tells us the story of an abusive relationship in fragments and vignettes, incorporating queer theory, literary criticism, pop culture, and more. It’s unique, clever, and made for deep thought and reflection despite it being compulsively readable (finished it in 2.5 sittings). She gives the reader enough dimension in each fractured piece that, when assembled and at a distance, is a shimmering mosaic of a whole. I put IN THE DREAM HOUSE on the shelf next to Cathy Park Hong’s Minor Feelings and Maggie Nelson’s The Argonauts.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse and Toxic relationship
enyltiak's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
5.0
A book review in snippets of thoughts I sent to my friend I was buddy-reading with as I went:
- “!!! genuinely so good. i didn’t realize it was in 2nd person (or, well mostly anyway) and honestly how did i not see that coming. just Works. i don’t think i finished all the stories in her body and other parties but even so, as much as i was enjoying that i feel like this is even better! also noted the way that even chapters focused outside of “her” are still “dream house as…” painting this representation draped over the whole thing of how this relationship has reflected on/effected her whole life reaching backwards”
- “genre defying and unique and yet makes perfect sense. of course [a memoir] should be written this way. why would it be any different? you can see she is SUCH a skilled writer. i can’t wait to see a novel from her. like holy shit, can you imagine?”
- “i get lost in the pov shifts and it’s all one. its me and you and her and wow. also the footnotes !!!!!!! i am not coherent but wow”
- “!!! genuinely so good. i didn’t realize it was in 2nd person (or, well mostly anyway) and honestly how did i not see that coming. just Works. i don’t think i finished all the stories in her body and other parties but even so, as much as i was enjoying that i feel like this is even better! also noted the way that even chapters focused outside of “her” are still “dream house as…” painting this representation draped over the whole thing of how this relationship has reflected on/effected her whole life reaching backwards”
- “genre defying and unique and yet makes perfect sense. of course [a memoir] should be written this way. why would it be any different? you can see she is SUCH a skilled writer. i can’t wait to see a novel from her. like holy shit, can you imagine?”
- “i get lost in the pov shifts and it’s all one. its me and you and her and wow. also the footnotes !!!!!!! i am not coherent but wow”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, and Alcohol
kylarcahalan's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting
Minor: Homophobia
nataliegoodman13's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I cannot say enough good things about this book. Go read it. An all-time favorite that I will be revisiting again and again and again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Homophobia and Lesbophobia
leontyna's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
fast-paced
5.0
This book is amazing. The structure is ingenious and the writing is so beautiful. I really loved the mixture of personal stories and ponderings about queer history.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Drug use
onamoonbeam's review against another edition
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
tense
medium-paced
5.0
oh! so that's why this author's famous! moment. read a few excerpts of this for a creative writing class and loved them months ago, finally got around to reading the whole thing. the mastery machado has over language is. absurd. somehow lots of colloquial language to illustrate swathes of emotion and history that will be rattling around in my mind for who knows how long. she also likes the word eponymous, which i will now actually remember the definition of.
notable bits
notable bits
- as a trope lover, the fact the memoir is formatted like this at all is already fantastic, not to mention. literally everything else
- the three deja vu chapters are marked in my book, and i flipped between them, reading their corresponding sentences in order in awe of oh. everything in this book is put together with intention, and this is just a small piece of it.
- the choose your own adventure part with the
(multiple!!) pages that say smth like 'you should not be on this page, there was no way to get to it with the choices provided. you wanted to get out/you can't get out, this already happened/were you looking for a way out' ARE SO GOOD i love when authors use their mediums to the fullest because in what other format could that exist? it reminded me of some pieces of interactive fiction, where choice being given and then taken away, or pointing out the illusion of choice, is more impactful than starting out with no choice to begin with. -
the use of footnotes in reference to folklore and foreshadowing is *chef's kiss* both opposite and adjacent to the princess bride to me. some of them, esp the one of 'mother killing her child' i gasped at -
pointing out that the language we use to describe abuse is so trite that horrible experiences seem banal, then pointing out a specific experience -
magical realism almost? of her experiences after the breakup, shrinking and drowning in tears and finding solace in animals -
"We deserve to have our wrongdoing represented as much as our heroism, because when we refuse wrongdoing as a possibility for a group of people, we refuse their humanity" AAAGH -
explicit separation of "you" and "i" in one chapter that continues for the rest of the book, works to 1. separate her experiences at the time of the relationship and at other points in her life 2. a marker of her growth 3. everything becomes deeply personal to the reader. you are running/dreaming/hiding. do you understand, now? -
"Part of the problem was, as a weird fat girl, you felt lucky." the elementary school me is pounding the floor of my heart, ie. when I read that I gripped the book a little tighter - HOUSE AND SPACE METAPHORS
something about this is peak english major to me, and i mean that as a compliment. guess i gotta go read her body and other parties now
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Gaslighting
Minor: Infidelity, Sexual violence, and Suicidal thoughts
amandarosexox's review against another edition
dark
emotional
medium-paced
4.25
The use of different techniques/limitations/inspirations for each chapter was very inspired and well executed, making the book even more engaging for the reader.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse
Moderate: Infidelity, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting
fayemomodu's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Absolutely love this book. As someone who attending college at the University of Iowa I loved reading this as it takes place in Iowa City at the college. The book almost reads as poetry and is very beautiful written.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal cruelty, Body shaming, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment