Reviews

More often than not, the love someone gives you will be a reflection of the love you give yourself. If you can't treat yourself with kindness, care, and patience, chances are someone else won't either.

I am slowly but surely trying to branch more into reading nonfiction, and this book really stood out to me when I picked it up. It wasn't exactly what I expected, but I did have an enjoyable reading experience, especially more towards the end, where it prompted a lot of self-reflection. There are a lot of ways where I am nothing like Dolly, but in other senses I found her immensely relatable. As young girls, so many of us were told that the end-all-be-all was romantic love, and if you didn't achieve it, you somehow failed. Most girls slowly grow out of this belief as they get older, but I'm ashamed to admit that it's something I fear I never really grew out of; in some sense, it even got worse. The more I read romance novels and watched romantic comedies, the more I obsessed over my own future romance. The more I saw my friends get into relationships, the more I convinced myself that I was falling behind, and therefore undesirable. Even when those relationships ended up unsuccessful and left my friends heartbroken, I envied them because at least they had experience--at least they had been loved.

This book opened my eyes to a lot of things that I spent so long refusing to acknowledge. Firstly, that love comes in a lot more forms than just romantic love. Just because you don't have a significant other doesn't mean that you aren't loved, or worthy of love. You can spend your whole life waiting for love, only to realize that you've had it the whole time, just not in the way you expected.

I woke up safe in my one-woman boat. I was gliding into a new horizon; floating in a sea of love. There it was. Who knew? It had been there all along.

Something else I really enjoyed about this book was the emphasis on female friendships and how fulfilling they are. Dolly wrote about how for so long she believed she wasn't capable of having a long-term relationship, but then she realized she had it with her friends all along. One of the most important relationships a person will have in her life is with their friends, and yet that's often overlooked or seen as not enough in comparison to romantic love.

Most of all, what stuck with me the most was Dolly's realization that you cannot go out expecting romantic love when you haven't developed a sense of self-love. We've always been sent the message, through films and books and music, that love can be enough, that love can fix you. While I do understand that sentiment to a certain extent, it's impossible to fully progress in a relationship if you don't love yourself first. Dolly spoke about how she did so many things for male attention for so long, or with the intention of getting into a relationship, without ever really taking the time to get to know herself. When she finally did that, she found herself to be a much happier person.

All in all, I think this was a really interesting millennial take on not just love, but life as a whole. Dolly is a very engaging writer, so even when there were some stories I wasn't as interested in, it was always easy to follow along. I'm glad I read this book, and I'm definitely on the search for other compelling memoirs as I dive more into reading nonfiction.

Be the person you wish you could be, not the person you feel you are doomed to be. Let yourself run away with your feelings. You were made so that someone could love you. Let them love you.

malineu's review against another edition

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adventurous emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced

3.75

ksclary05's review against another edition

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emotional slow-paced

3.5

Still not super sure how I feel about this book

bellyfoo's review against another edition

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funny inspiring lighthearted fast-paced

4.0

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