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4.57 AVERAGE
4.57 AVERAGE
After I finished this book I was just sitting staring for a very long time. My feelings were all over the place and I know I will need several days to get back to normal and being able to read anything but light and fluffy books. This book was exceptional and I will think about it for a long time even if it crushed my heart.
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide
The writing is just not for me and I feel like I know where this story is going
challenging
emotional
sad
medium-paced
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
So sad, omg. What a beautiful story with a tragic ending. I’m still mad about how it ended even days later, but that just shows how much it got to me. Dillon and Kam had the most beautiful and amazing love story. Their chemistry was instant, and it was so nice to see how their journey progressed. The writing was so emotional, and the characters felt so real that I couldn’t help but get completely invested. I loved it, but yeah, this one hurt.
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I liked this and like this author in general. lots of similarities with the senator's wife series - American and British MCs, elite sports, little bit of age gap. a couple of characters from those books feature here too. I listened to the audio and although I really like the narrator her non-US English accents are terrible (as was her Australian accent in the senator's wife). Dillon and her family were Welsh but yet her sister and mother sounded like 1950s British royal family and the accent for the character from UK Newcastle (Sam) was so bad I shivered every time it came on. apart from that, it's a good book.
dark
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this book and it would be a 5/5 star rating, but this was difficult for me.
Dillon reminded me so much of someone I know that it was hard for me to find empathy for her. Dillon’s character was great and incredibly well-written, it was just impossible for me to feel anything but anger towards her because of my own personal trauma.
Dillon reminded me so much of someone I know that it was hard for me to find empathy for her. Dillon’s character was great and incredibly well-written, it was just impossible for me to feel anything but anger towards her because of my own personal trauma.
It's not often I feel compelled to write a review for a book. Though, I often have lots of opinions, I've just never needed to run to my keyboard to put down my thoughts. This is obviously the exception. This book is a masterpiece in every sense of the word. It is a beautiful love story. You are warned at the beginning that it's a love story, not to be confused with a romance. As someone who has been married now for 11 years and with my now wife for a total of 14.5 yrs, I can tell you there is a distinction. Romance is easy to get swept up in and it gives the warm and fuzzies and it's great, but it can be fleeting. Love is harder. Love is messier. And love can be work. It can come in many forms: friends, families, siblings, parents, lovers. This is a love story.
Narratively, Jen makes a unique decision to tell us the story through two styles: First person for Kam and Third person for Dillon. I think its brilliance lies in the fact that by being told Kam's story in the first person, we the reader are more connected to Kam and we feel like we are Kam as we go through this. It also disconnects us a bit from Dillon. Which, I think is where some of the upset comes in for this book. We feel for Kam - we fell for Dillon the way that Kam did, and so when Take 1 hits, it hits hard. Take 2 seems placating, but ultimately not real. And that's upsetting.
For me personally, I had a different take. I was consistently drawn to Dillon's narrative despite the third person. I didn't really understand why until we got deeper into her spiral and it dawned on my. I am Dillon. This book, while it puts you into Kam's shoes, was written for the Dillons of the world, and that's why I'm not sad about the end. I am so unbelievably hopeful and I did get the happy ending so many people missed out on.
I have been Dillon, sitting on that shoreline and having that internal debate with myself. I have had all the doubting thoughts drowning out my rational thoughts and very nearly gave into the irrational. I was afraid to ask for help, but more to the point I thought I would be a burden if I asked. I've sought solace in the bottom of a bottle before. I've done things and said things I regretted and wondered what was wrong with me or when will I be good enough to have the pain stop. I've felt so unbelievably tired...and contemplated Take 1. I don't know how I was able to pull myself back for long enough to get Take 2, but I did. And that's why I love this book.
If you read this not as Kam's journey and not have Take 1 be her reality and Take 2 be her wishes and dreams, but re-read the end as Dillon sitting on that edge contemplating - then Take 1 and Take 2 become a choice. You are at your low point and you are being asked to contemplate how Take 1 will affect the people you leave behind - about how devastated you will make the people who love you if you go with Take 1, or you are being shown the hope and the good that can come by being brave and asking for help and opting for Take 2. Then, as Dillon, you can get your happy ending because you get to choose. As someone who was Dillon - am Dillon still on some days - this is one of the happiest endings I have read because I choose Take 2 every day...even on days when Take 2 is so damn difficult. Because I have found the strength to know that I can't put my family through Take 1. And that's why I love this book and wasn't sad or wrecked.
There are 2 ways to end this book, and you don't have to choose Take 1...there's always another take.
Narratively, Jen makes a unique decision to tell us the story through two styles: First person for Kam and Third person for Dillon. I think its brilliance lies in the fact that by being told Kam's story in the first person, we the reader are more connected to Kam and we feel like we are Kam as we go through this. It also disconnects us a bit from Dillon. Which, I think is where some of the upset comes in for this book. We feel for Kam - we fell for Dillon the way that Kam did, and so when Take 1 hits, it hits hard. Take 2 seems placating, but ultimately not real. And that's upsetting.
For me personally, I had a different take. I was consistently drawn to Dillon's narrative despite the third person. I didn't really understand why until we got deeper into her spiral and it dawned on my. I am Dillon. This book, while it puts you into Kam's shoes, was written for the Dillons of the world, and that's why I'm not sad about the end. I am so unbelievably hopeful and I did get the happy ending so many people missed out on.
I have been Dillon, sitting on that shoreline and having that internal debate with myself. I have had all the doubting thoughts drowning out my rational thoughts and very nearly gave into the irrational. I was afraid to ask for help, but more to the point I thought I would be a burden if I asked. I've sought solace in the bottom of a bottle before. I've done things and said things I regretted and wondered what was wrong with me or when will I be good enough to have the pain stop. I've felt so unbelievably tired...and contemplated Take 1. I don't know how I was able to pull myself back for long enough to get Take 2, but I did. And that's why I love this book.
If you read this not as Kam's journey and not have Take 1 be her reality and Take 2 be her wishes and dreams, but re-read the end as Dillon sitting on that edge contemplating - then Take 1 and Take 2 become a choice. You are at your low point and you are being asked to contemplate how Take 1 will affect the people you leave behind - about how devastated you will make the people who love you if you go with Take 1, or you are being shown the hope and the good that can come by being brave and asking for help and opting for Take 2. Then, as Dillon, you can get your happy ending because you get to choose. As someone who was Dillon - am Dillon still on some days - this is one of the happiest endings I have read because I choose Take 2 every day...even on days when Take 2 is so damn difficult. Because I have found the strength to know that I can't put my family through Take 1. And that's why I love this book and wasn't sad or wrecked.
There are 2 ways to end this book, and you don't have to choose Take 1...there's always another take.
This messed me up for days.
Oof that was rough. It really fucking was. I’m glad I finished it in an empty house cos I just let myself cry as I haphazardly got ready for work.
While difficult to accept, I’m glad the author was true to Take 1. We have to live with the “what if” right along with Kam.
God what a couple tastefully written explicit love scenes would have done to add to the gravity. It’s more than their intimate love story, but… damn.
Tragic, and glad I read it. Flawed characters and decisions, but seemed authentic instead of books with therapist babble from non-therapist characters.
Well day one after finishing this book. Listened to sad music and cried a lot yesterday. Day 2 I’m in my feelings, imagining a future that will never happen for fictional characters. Why is this fictional book wrecking me? Maybe I’m reconvening with grief I felt when a beloved coworker died by suicide. She was a shining star at our agency. Didn’t know her well, but she was wonderful and kind, made you feel liked. Didn’t help that I thought she was fucking gorgeous, too.
And Why do good people that are surrounded by people who love them feel like they need to isolate, are a burden? I actually love how flawed everyone is in this story. They love Dillon so much, but they don’t have to tools to understand her darkness so they get mad at her. Reminds me of my mom. She cares so much, but she’s afraid, so she lashes out in anger/fear when she doesn’t understand. And then Kam can only support the way she knows how, giving Dillon every chance to keep competing, but Dillon won’t talk to her, so Kam couldn’t know the pressure Dillon feels to deliver for everyone she thinks will hate her if she quits, because that’s all she knows. Miscommunication done well with devastating consequences.
Reading along I was like, why doesn’t this woman have a sports psychologist? I’m glad it mentions she does. And that’s so real to have a psychologist but they aren’t really helpful, or you don’t get much from sessions for whatever reason.
I keep remembering a quote from a show “the brightest stars often burn the fastest” or something like that.
Oof that was rough. It really fucking was. I’m glad I finished it in an empty house cos I just let myself cry as I haphazardly got ready for work.
While difficult to accept, I’m glad the author was true to Take 1. We have to live with the “what if” right along with Kam.
God what a couple tastefully written explicit love scenes would have done to add to the gravity. It’s more than their intimate love story, but… damn.
Tragic, and glad I read it. Flawed characters and decisions, but seemed authentic instead of books with therapist babble from non-therapist characters.
Well day one after finishing this book. Listened to sad music and cried a lot yesterday. Day 2 I’m in my feelings, imagining a future that will never happen for fictional characters. Why is this fictional book wrecking me? Maybe I’m reconvening with grief I felt when a beloved coworker died by suicide. She was a shining star at our agency. Didn’t know her well, but she was wonderful and kind, made you feel liked. Didn’t help that I thought she was fucking gorgeous, too.
And Why do good people that are surrounded by people who love them feel like they need to isolate, are a burden? I actually love how flawed everyone is in this story. They love Dillon so much, but they don’t have to tools to understand her darkness so they get mad at her. Reminds me of my mom. She cares so much, but she’s afraid, so she lashes out in anger/fear when she doesn’t understand. And then Kam can only support the way she knows how, giving Dillon every chance to keep competing, but Dillon won’t talk to her, so Kam couldn’t know the pressure Dillon feels to deliver for everyone she thinks will hate her if she quits, because that’s all she knows. Miscommunication done well with devastating consequences.
Reading along I was like, why doesn’t this woman have a sports psychologist? I’m glad it mentions she does. And that’s so real to have a psychologist but they aren’t really helpful, or you don’t get much from sessions for whatever reason.
I keep remembering a quote from a show “the brightest stars often burn the fastest” or something like that.