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challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
reflective
medium-paced
reflective
medium-paced
Breathtakingly beautiful, honest, and unapologetic. I loved this book so much. I laughed and cried with Candice Benbow as she recounted her story (and her mother’s story). This book reads like a love letter to women who have experienced harm in seemingly “safe spaces” and who may have taken their frustrations out with God. But, as a friend of mine once said, and Candice reiterates, God can handle our questions and our frustrations. God made us the way we are, and he called us GOOD. So, leave God out of your messiness when you’re lecturing other folks on how to live and get “free.” Mind your business and your parts. MKAY?!
I didn’t expect to see so much of myself in this book. So much of my academic journey and struggles, so much of my issues with patriarchy and internalized sexism from women. I reflected on the ways others’ comments and opinions on my worthiness shaped or mis-shaped so much of my graduate life. I reflected on run-ins I’ve had with church folk as a kid and how my Mama let them folks have it. I’ve been angry at God and church many times, too. So, reading this book made visible my hurt as Candice articulated hers in ways I couldn’t. As much as this book is about falling out with “church” and the harm so many people experience there, it’s also about falling “into” ourselves and our squads. It was beautiful to read Candice’s essays and to witness how deeply she was loved and cared for by her Mom and how, even through tension and growing pains, that love was unconditional and reciprocated. It reminded me so much of the relationship I cherish with my Mom.
Red Lip Theology shows us many ways that life is going to life, and how you get through it is how you get through it. There’s no right way to navigate grief, hurt, and trauma as long as you do so in truth and with care for you. That’s what God wants for us. May we all locate our truth and live into it as fiercely as Candice does in this text. If I remember nothing else, I will remember that “I am enough, just the way that I am.” Thank you, Candice for this text. It is truly a BALM for wounded spirits and broken hearts.
I didn’t expect to see so much of myself in this book. So much of my academic journey and struggles, so much of my issues with patriarchy and internalized sexism from women. I reflected on the ways others’ comments and opinions on my worthiness shaped or mis-shaped so much of my graduate life. I reflected on run-ins I’ve had with church folk as a kid and how my Mama let them folks have it. I’ve been angry at God and church many times, too. So, reading this book made visible my hurt as Candice articulated hers in ways I couldn’t. As much as this book is about falling out with “church” and the harm so many people experience there, it’s also about falling “into” ourselves and our squads. It was beautiful to read Candice’s essays and to witness how deeply she was loved and cared for by her Mom and how, even through tension and growing pains, that love was unconditional and reciprocated. It reminded me so much of the relationship I cherish with my Mom.
Red Lip Theology shows us many ways that life is going to life, and how you get through it is how you get through it. There’s no right way to navigate grief, hurt, and trauma as long as you do so in truth and with care for you. That’s what God wants for us. May we all locate our truth and live into it as fiercely as Candice does in this text. If I remember nothing else, I will remember that “I am enough, just the way that I am.” Thank you, Candice for this text. It is truly a BALM for wounded spirits and broken hearts.
This book had me grabbing my pearls and sipping tea. I love that this book addresses the traditions that we adapt when you are raised in the church and bring it to a spiritual side. I tell people all the time that I’m Christian (believe that Christ died for my sins and rose again) but I’m spiritual and not religious. I’ve experienced church hurt, I identify with most of the experiences she discussed on how church members are, and I love this new way of thinking. It’s a lot of unlearning and relearning. I recommend this book to everyone, no matter what you spiritually believe.
This book really hit home on so many levels. As a Black woman who also grew up churched, I saw myself in many chapters. Benbow made me laugh, cry, and shout, "AMEN," throughout the book. While some chapters gave me pause, she forced me to at least open my mind and consider her words. I believe most Black women who grew up in the Black church can relate to a couple of chapters. However, I also believe this book may make many Black women who grew up in the Black church uncomfortable. But getting past the uncomfortable feelings is the point and Benbow's words push you through.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ | ✨“I consider myself extremely churched and spiritually fluid. I am grounded by the teachings of Jesus, the wisdom of my ancestors, and the power of Black womanhood. If you can’t honor my truth, you can’t go on this journey with me.”✨
So this book was just *wow*in every single way. As a grown Black woman raised in the Black church, I have also grappled with my deep-seated cynicism about the church as an effective entity, operationally, spiritually, and sociologically.
Here, Candice Marie Benbow gives raw, progressive insight into how she reconciled what the church is and what she actually needed. Just *wow*.
And if that wasn’t enough, I ugly cried at the end.
…
In Red Lip Theology, Candice Marie Benbow takes us on an astounding coming of age…(I mean, “story” is too tame, so let’s say…) RECKONING of her faith walk from childhood to adulthood and her pursuit of freedom from the culture and institution that is the church. An institution and culture that, like the dominant American culture, is riddled with sexism, classism, racism, and the politics of respectability and, overall, fails to override these -isms (as well as shame and judgment) that it claims to insulate its parishioners from.
With her quick wit, sharp tongue, and irreverent theological and sociological application, coupled with her personal stories of church hurt, Benbow unveils her road to self-discovery, self-acceptance, boundary-setting, and love (in all of its forms). The book is not at all about “bashing the church” as Benbow presents how the church has built her, healed her, and given her clarity, but also how it has harmed her, shamed her and her mother, and how it failed to support her after her mother’s death.
In totality, Red Lip Theology and Candice Marie Benbow are everything that our Black faith generation (a generation that arguably has brought more accountability to the church and overhaul of old systems than any generation before it) has needed: a voice of freedom, exploration, divestment of what was in the pursuit of what should be, and the personal accountability it takes to own all of it.
So this book was just *wow*in every single way. As a grown Black woman raised in the Black church, I have also grappled with my deep-seated cynicism about the church as an effective entity, operationally, spiritually, and sociologically.
Here, Candice Marie Benbow gives raw, progressive insight into how she reconciled what the church is and what she actually needed. Just *wow*.
And if that wasn’t enough, I ugly cried at the end.
…
In Red Lip Theology, Candice Marie Benbow takes us on an astounding coming of age…(I mean, “story” is too tame, so let’s say…) RECKONING of her faith walk from childhood to adulthood and her pursuit of freedom from the culture and institution that is the church. An institution and culture that, like the dominant American culture, is riddled with sexism, classism, racism, and the politics of respectability and, overall, fails to override these -isms (as well as shame and judgment) that it claims to insulate its parishioners from.
With her quick wit, sharp tongue, and irreverent theological and sociological application, coupled with her personal stories of church hurt, Benbow unveils her road to self-discovery, self-acceptance, boundary-setting, and love (in all of its forms). The book is not at all about “bashing the church” as Benbow presents how the church has built her, healed her, and given her clarity, but also how it has harmed her, shamed her and her mother, and how it failed to support her after her mother’s death.
In totality, Red Lip Theology and Candice Marie Benbow are everything that our Black faith generation (a generation that arguably has brought more accountability to the church and overhaul of old systems than any generation before it) has needed: a voice of freedom, exploration, divestment of what was in the pursuit of what should be, and the personal accountability it takes to own all of it.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Last year, I pushed myself to pick up more nonfiction and expand my reading. During a season when I was exploring my relationship with God, I picked up Red Lip Theology and it was exactly what I needed.
Despite the title, this book read more like a memoir and less like a theological book (which I was utterly thankful for). As a Black college student exploring her faith, this book did everything it needed to do. It gave permission to question and discuss many of the “taboo” topics the church typically condemns. Benbow doesn’t force readers to see & practice faith exactly as she does. Instead, she shows readers how she navigates and balances all the nuances of faith and religion, specifically as a Black Woman.
Most importantly, I saw myself being reflected in the words on the pages. I identified with quite a few parts of Candice’s story and felt as though my feelings were being captured and explored. Without a doubt, it is now a book I am quick to recommend.
I don’t have any complaints about this book, I am not religious and was reading this as part of a reading list and am just not interested in reading about religion in that way.
challenging
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
Candice Benbow's Red Lip Theology resonated in a number of ways for me that I was not prepared for. Since I mainly know of Benbow from Twitter, I decided to read her book once I heard it would be published to learn more about her. I was not let down. From the title of the book to her willingness to tackle tough topics that the church often moves away from, this book was one treat after the next. She was vulnerable, uplifting, blunt, and challenging all within her memoir told through essays.
What I enjoyed was her breakdown of Red Lip Theology and how she got to the point of building that theology. I love how she was vulnerable in sharing her relationship with her mother; how loving of a relationship it was (until her mother's death) despite their differences in opinion. The truth about being raised by a single mom because of her father's unwillingness to step up in the ways he needed to. I love that she called out the church for often turning a blind eye to the pain and destruction that men cause and the women affected by their moral failings and poor behavior have to see them go through the church, and in society, without consequence. Benbow does a phenomenal job of breaking down the way that Black Christians and White Christians navigate the Christian world and evangelical space, and how often white supremacy will have Black Christians disillusioned into believing that they can exist or do exist the same as their white counterparts. I would, without question, recommend this to a friend.
Being a Black woman who also went to seminary, this was timely reading for me and helped me to think through further and dissect some of my own experiences. After graduating at the top of the pandemic, I didn't get much time to reflect.
My only pushback and this may take more unlearning from me having grown up in the Black church, is Benbow's stance when it comes to consensual sex before marriage.
I loved the book. I definitely would say that it is a part of my personal canon of books I will revisit throughout my life. She dropped a lot of gems that I believe are helpful not just in our unlearning as Black Christian women, but those of us working to create a better world and future for us and those around us.
What I enjoyed was her breakdown of Red Lip Theology and how she got to the point of building that theology. I love how she was vulnerable in sharing her relationship with her mother; how loving of a relationship it was (until her mother's death) despite their differences in opinion. The truth about being raised by a single mom because of her father's unwillingness to step up in the ways he needed to. I love that she called out the church for often turning a blind eye to the pain and destruction that men cause and the women affected by their moral failings and poor behavior have to see them go through the church, and in society, without consequence. Benbow does a phenomenal job of breaking down the way that Black Christians and White Christians navigate the Christian world and evangelical space, and how often white supremacy will have Black Christians disillusioned into believing that they can exist or do exist the same as their white counterparts. I would, without question, recommend this to a friend.
Being a Black woman who also went to seminary, this was timely reading for me and helped me to think through further and dissect some of my own experiences. After graduating at the top of the pandemic, I didn't get much time to reflect.
My only pushback and this may take more unlearning from me having grown up in the Black church, is Benbow's stance when it comes to consensual sex before marriage.
I loved the book. I definitely would say that it is a part of my personal canon of books I will revisit throughout my life. She dropped a lot of gems that I believe are helpful not just in our unlearning as Black Christian women, but those of us working to create a better world and future for us and those around us.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Racism, Sexual assault, Religious bigotry