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full_of_flowers's review against another edition
dark
tense
fast-paced
4.75
If I hadn't experienced a relationship with a person with a similar personality to David, the book's protagonist and narrator, I'm sure I still would have appreciated the subtle and chilling ways in which Wayne writes his self-denied malice. However, seeing David's behavior in the light of day helped me work through some trauma. As disturbing as this book is, I found some unexpected peace in seeing the characteristics that David shares with my ex as they are: damaging, abusive, and even horrifying.
**The following are broad strokes comparing my own experiences with the events of the book, and may be considered spoilers.
David uses others as pawns and objects, lies for sexual gain, and is sexually abusive and coercive. Focused on his straight, privileged male pain, he inflicts pain upon multiple women and shows general disdain for marginalized communities. He sees even his object of desire (a fitting phrase that David himself uses) as charmingly beneath him intellectually. He cannot see himself as a perpetrator or anything less than a misunderstood genius; he's "not the type." While in a relationship he only feigns genuine investment in, he does find satisfaction and excitement in causing his partner emotional pain. Seeing these qualities from a more objective position while not being actively manipulated by such a person, I found some clarity and relief in seeing how wrong and heartless this behavior really is, and allowing myself to grieve a relationship that made me feel like less of a person. It certainly caused me some distress to revisit this trauma, but I did some unexpected healing too.
**The following are broad strokes comparing my own experiences with the events of the book, and may be considered spoilers.
David uses others as pawns and objects, lies for sexual gain, and is sexually abusive and coercive. Focused on his straight, privileged male pain, he inflicts pain upon multiple women and shows general disdain for marginalized communities. He sees even his object of desire (a fitting phrase that David himself uses) as charmingly beneath him intellectually. He cannot see himself as a perpetrator or anything less than a misunderstood genius; he's "not the type." While in a relationship he only feigns genuine investment in, he does find satisfaction and excitement in causing his partner emotional pain. Seeing these qualities from a more objective position while not being actively manipulated by such a person, I found some clarity and relief in seeing how wrong and heartless this behavior really is, and allowing myself to grieve a relationship that made me feel like less of a person. It certainly caused me some distress to revisit this trauma, but I did some unexpected healing too.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Stalking and Sexual assault
Minor: Ableism and Homophobia
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