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3.79 AVERAGE
3.79 AVERAGE
Tragic. Terrifying. Informative.
Smacked is a story about the author's investigation into her ex-husband's death.
Parts I and II read like mystery novel. It's personal and heart-wrenching. She does a great job describing her relationship with her ex-husband and her kids. We as the reader are very invested in their lives which makes it all the more sad when you know how it's going to end. It is truly a testament to good writing.
Parts III and IV deal with the scientific reasons for addiction and how drug use in America has been increasing across all socioeconomic classes due to the rise of social media, toxic work culture, and America's obsession with materialism and competition.
Smacked was definitely a difficult book to get through. It deals with a very personal tragedy of loss for an entire family. But it was interesting to learn about the data and science behind addiction. I think it was also helpful to learn about the symptoms of addiction and that it could happen to anyone.
Smacked is a story about the author's investigation into her ex-husband's death.
Parts I and II read like mystery novel. It's personal and heart-wrenching. She does a great job describing her relationship with her ex-husband and her kids. We as the reader are very invested in their lives which makes it all the more sad when you know how it's going to end. It is truly a testament to good writing.
Parts III and IV deal with the scientific reasons for addiction and how drug use in America has been increasing across all socioeconomic classes due to the rise of social media, toxic work culture, and America's obsession with materialism and competition.
Smacked was definitely a difficult book to get through. It deals with a very personal tragedy of loss for an entire family. But it was interesting to learn about the data and science behind addiction. I think it was also helpful to learn about the symptoms of addiction and that it could happen to anyone.
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
This story tells a tragedy that occurs more frequently than considered. Eilene’s ex-husband, Peter, died due to drug related use. Peter had what few have. Wealth, prestige, and family. But that was not enough as his decisions constantly aimed for more. When Peter cheated, they tried to stay together for the sake of the kids, but that did not last long. Over time, Peter’s behavior became more erratic and could not be trusted with planning. Reasoning behind some actions and thoughts became more absurd. Many excuses were consistent with prior behavior so they felt legitimate. Behavior was not the only thing that changed, but also biology as Peter seemed not to have energy and was frequently ill. Many of the behavior and biological issues became understood after Peter’s death, as the issues were consistent with consequences of drug addiction.
Drugs change the way the brain tackles information. The odd reasoning is not odd in the mind of the drug addict as getting the next fix takes priority over everything else. Eilene and the kids did not consider Peter’s behavior due to a drug addiction because of confirmation bias. They saw illness as a side effect of overworking and did not consider the alternatives because it was not aligned with the worldview. After Peter’s death and finding out about the drug addiction, they needed to accept that nothing could be done to have saved Peter. Besides being unlikely to survive even with earlier treatment, Peter would have gone back to taking drugs. A hard lesson to learn is that individuals cannot control everything, but that does not mean they are powerless. Something that cannot be controlled is other people’s choices.
These events triggered a search for reasons why someone who has everything still needed to escape reality using drugs. Drugs are being used by white-collar profession which tend to be well-educated and high-achieving citizens. It says something about a society that uses drugs to escape when success is reached in careers and personal lives. In the case of the law profession, Law school takes students from wanting justice to focusing on winning. Zimmerman finds that the value system of the students changes from internal values of helping others to external values of recognition and money. Lawyers usually start using drugs for prescription, but frequently become as a relief mechanism.
Drugs are used to be better, more productive, more social, and a host of other reasons which could be obtained by self-reflection but there is no time in the professions to self-reflect. As people become more successful, their feedback changes. The more successful someone is, the more is needed to keep up with local social competition. Judging internally based on how others perceive the individual as to show success requires more money to be spent on conspicuous consumption. With a lot of negative feedback, drugs are used to alleviate the thoughts in order to feel better. This is more of a challenge with materialistic people who have a harder time finding fulfillment. The workplace used to be a community in which an individual would find fulfillment, but the workplace has become less personal.
There is a general trend to use more drugs for reasons other than need. If a person identifies a problem, they take a pill to fix it. Pharmacists are more willing and usually prescribe drugs to fix the problems. The bigger problem is that children are given many drugs as well. This creates a dependency on drugs which reduces the ability to cope in the future. Research shows that what is needed is self-acceptance, affiliation and community feeling to relieve distress.
Drugs are a symptom of a much larger cultural problem impacting every class. An important lesson from this book is how to choose. Choices coming from a place of insecurity or social pressure do not have optimal conclusions. Advice of others does carry weight, but so does the individual’s opinion. Intrinsic sources of value facilitate more opportunities to find happiness while external sources of value make it harder to accept the situation even if it is successful.
Drugs change the way the brain tackles information. The odd reasoning is not odd in the mind of the drug addict as getting the next fix takes priority over everything else. Eilene and the kids did not consider Peter’s behavior due to a drug addiction because of confirmation bias. They saw illness as a side effect of overworking and did not consider the alternatives because it was not aligned with the worldview. After Peter’s death and finding out about the drug addiction, they needed to accept that nothing could be done to have saved Peter. Besides being unlikely to survive even with earlier treatment, Peter would have gone back to taking drugs. A hard lesson to learn is that individuals cannot control everything, but that does not mean they are powerless. Something that cannot be controlled is other people’s choices.
These events triggered a search for reasons why someone who has everything still needed to escape reality using drugs. Drugs are being used by white-collar profession which tend to be well-educated and high-achieving citizens. It says something about a society that uses drugs to escape when success is reached in careers and personal lives. In the case of the law profession, Law school takes students from wanting justice to focusing on winning. Zimmerman finds that the value system of the students changes from internal values of helping others to external values of recognition and money. Lawyers usually start using drugs for prescription, but frequently become as a relief mechanism.
Drugs are used to be better, more productive, more social, and a host of other reasons which could be obtained by self-reflection but there is no time in the professions to self-reflect. As people become more successful, their feedback changes. The more successful someone is, the more is needed to keep up with local social competition. Judging internally based on how others perceive the individual as to show success requires more money to be spent on conspicuous consumption. With a lot of negative feedback, drugs are used to alleviate the thoughts in order to feel better. This is more of a challenge with materialistic people who have a harder time finding fulfillment. The workplace used to be a community in which an individual would find fulfillment, but the workplace has become less personal.
There is a general trend to use more drugs for reasons other than need. If a person identifies a problem, they take a pill to fix it. Pharmacists are more willing and usually prescribe drugs to fix the problems. The bigger problem is that children are given many drugs as well. This creates a dependency on drugs which reduces the ability to cope in the future. Research shows that what is needed is self-acceptance, affiliation and community feeling to relieve distress.
Drugs are a symptom of a much larger cultural problem impacting every class. An important lesson from this book is how to choose. Choices coming from a place of insecurity or social pressure do not have optimal conclusions. Advice of others does carry weight, but so does the individual’s opinion. Intrinsic sources of value facilitate more opportunities to find happiness while external sources of value make it harder to accept the situation even if it is successful.
Interesting skimmed over some parts where there were too many details such as listing many of the things he had in his garage from what must have been drug fueled shopping sprees. Also all the drug paraphernalia he had stashed all over the place.
I could not stop listening to this audiobook. The author has a way of writing that just sucks you in to her life and makes you feel the things she feels. I don’t often feel this way while reading a book, but her story really grabbed me and I needed to know how it ended. I knew how it ended, but I needed to know how everyone was. I became invested in the lives of her family. I listened to this every day at work when I wasn’t on the phone or dealing with coworkers. It was just so good and a story that shows another side of addiction.
Full review at: http://www.everydayiwritethebookblog.com/2020/10/smacked-by-eilene-zimmerman/
Eilene Zimmerman’s memoir Smacked: A Story Of White Collar Ambition, Addiction and Tragedy opens with her going to her ex-husband Peter’s San Diego home, concerned about him because their kids haven’t heard from him and he was ill the last time they saw him. She finds him dead in his bedroom and, shocked and devastated, assumes that he had a heart attack. She is incredulous when the police on the scene tell her that the likely cause of death is a drug overdose, having not suspected that Peter used drugs at all. Smacked is the story of the rise and fall of their relationship and Peter’s secret journey into drug addiction. How did this happen to him, and how could she have missed all the signs?
Smacked shines a light on a population that many people don’t know about: educated, white collar drug addicts. Looking for a way to relieve stress, or because they are unfulfilled in their jobs, they turn to drugs – prescription or illegal – for relief or to fill a void. They become increasingly dependent on the high to survive, leading to financial ruin and often serious health issues, including death. While Smacked is an intensely personal story, meticulously recorded and related by Zimmerman, it is also a wake-up call about a serious problem. So much of our modern lives can be characterized as addictive – technology, social media, medication – and this phenomenon of white collar addiction should really not be surprising.
Smacked is well-written and very compelling. I found the impact of Peter’s death on their kids to be the most heartbreaking part of the book. They too had no idea what was wrong with Peter, although they definitely knew something was. Peter went to great lengths to hide his addiction, resorting to increasingly strange and hurtful behavior to accommodate his needs. Zimmerman is understandably angry, regretful and sad, and ultimately sympathetic, which all comes across very clearly in her writing.
Eilene Zimmerman’s memoir Smacked: A Story Of White Collar Ambition, Addiction and Tragedy opens with her going to her ex-husband Peter’s San Diego home, concerned about him because their kids haven’t heard from him and he was ill the last time they saw him. She finds him dead in his bedroom and, shocked and devastated, assumes that he had a heart attack. She is incredulous when the police on the scene tell her that the likely cause of death is a drug overdose, having not suspected that Peter used drugs at all. Smacked is the story of the rise and fall of their relationship and Peter’s secret journey into drug addiction. How did this happen to him, and how could she have missed all the signs?
Smacked shines a light on a population that many people don’t know about: educated, white collar drug addicts. Looking for a way to relieve stress, or because they are unfulfilled in their jobs, they turn to drugs – prescription or illegal – for relief or to fill a void. They become increasingly dependent on the high to survive, leading to financial ruin and often serious health issues, including death. While Smacked is an intensely personal story, meticulously recorded and related by Zimmerman, it is also a wake-up call about a serious problem. So much of our modern lives can be characterized as addictive – technology, social media, medication – and this phenomenon of white collar addiction should really not be surprising.
Smacked is well-written and very compelling. I found the impact of Peter’s death on their kids to be the most heartbreaking part of the book. They too had no idea what was wrong with Peter, although they definitely knew something was. Peter went to great lengths to hide his addiction, resorting to increasingly strange and hurtful behavior to accommodate his needs. Zimmerman is understandably angry, regretful and sad, and ultimately sympathetic, which all comes across very clearly in her writing.
Smacked is part-memoir, part journalistic account of drug addiction in white collar America. This book was born out of Elene Zimmerman’s reeling, after finding her ex-husband - a successful lawyer and father of her two teenagers - dead of a drug overdose. His history of addiction was a complete shock to her, and she goes into full investigative mode trying to reconstruct what led him to this point of tragedy. I listened to this book on audio (read by the author and nicely done) and it was quick and informative, even if it did feel a bit like I was intrusively digging around in a deceased person’s stuff.
Listened to this and was riveted from the start. The story isn't new, after all, addiction is addiction. But this book was half background story of how the couple met and then the middle is dissecting the house of the addict (which I always find interesting- I love knowing what's inside a bedside drawer or bathroom cabinet) but the end was mostly research into the nature of addiction, why some jobs, like being a lawyer sets the stage for addiction and other self destructive behaviors, this part, although important and informative, kind of lost me since the rest of the book was more human interest and narrative.
Do recommend if you like addiction memoirs.
Do recommend if you like addiction memoirs.