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4.2 AVERAGE
4.2 AVERAGE
Some people think this book is too long, and I get why they think so. But I stuck through it because the writing is so damn good, and I loved hearing the way that Vanessa's perspective changed - slowly. People who haven't been through similarly confusing blurred-lines relationships and "is it or is it not abuse?" situations might not understand that the slow pacing is needed, you need to take this journey with her of slowly putting together one piece at a time of a whole picture that her brain has kept fractured through dissociation, amnesia, and denial. "I need this to be a love story, because otherwise what is it?" Hit me so hard. Not everyone wants to be seen as a victim, to feel like their whole self has been reduced to one factor - not realizing that that one factor DOES affect their life, whether they want it to or not, whether it's clear cut or a by-product they don't think about. This book tackles the Me Too movement and how some people did just latch on for publicity, while still defending the purpose of the movement as a whole. It offers so many perspectives and critiques, and going on this journey with her of "Was I special? Or was this man just a pedophile?" is HARD. I can't say I would want to reccommend it to just anyone as there are many parts that would be INSANELY triggering to read, and especially to listen to (as I listened to the audiobook which is EXCELLENT and I want to listen to more books read by this narrator) but if you can stomach it, this is truly a favorite for how nuanced and complete the story is. it isn't short because that's not how things like this work. "This is my whole life" she says, and that's really how it goes. You need to see the whole picture, not just the sensational "what happened to you."
challenging
dark
emotional
fast-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Gaslighting
Moderate: Child abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Stalking
Minor: Suicide, Grief
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Heavy, unsettling, and often infuriating, this book takes a raw look at abuse, grooming, and trauma. The author captures so many layered aspects of it, the way pop culture normalizes the sexualization of young girls, how people around them enable or ignore it, how movements like #MeToo can get watered down by media and clickbait, and how survivors often downplay their own pain just to get by. It’s not an easy story to sit with, but it feels uncomfortably real and the characters are written with a lot of authenticity.
The ending might come across as heartbreaking and even unsatisfying, but that feels intentional because the reality of these issues is often just as bleak. Healing doesn’t look the same for everyone, and there’s no set timeline for moving forward after what has been taken from you. It’s not a hopeful story in the traditional sense, but it’s an honest one.
A. Character Growth & Psychological Depth
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Powerful self-discovery journey with deep psychological insight; characters feel real, layered, and transformative.
B. Atmosphere, Tone & Emotional Resonance
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Immersive atmosphere that reflects inner conflict and evokes strong emotions.
C. Relatability & Authenticity
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Honest, nuanced portrayal of adolescence, identity, and mental struggles; universally resonant.
D. Themes & Symbolism
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Richly layered themes (identity, resilience, trauma, belonging, growth) with subtle but meaningful symbolism.
E. Writing & Narrative Voice
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Distinctive, lyrical, or psychologically reflective prose that captures the rawness of youth and mental struggle.
The ending might come across as heartbreaking and even unsatisfying, but that feels intentional because the reality of these issues is often just as bleak. Healing doesn’t look the same for everyone, and there’s no set timeline for moving forward after what has been taken from you. It’s not a hopeful story in the traditional sense, but it’s an honest one.
A. Character Growth & Psychological Depth
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Powerful self-discovery journey with deep psychological insight; characters feel real, layered, and transformative.
B. Atmosphere, Tone & Emotional Resonance
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Immersive atmosphere that reflects inner conflict and evokes strong emotions.
C. Relatability & Authenticity
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Honest, nuanced portrayal of adolescence, identity, and mental struggles; universally resonant.
D. Themes & Symbolism
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Richly layered themes (identity, resilience, trauma, belonging, growth) with subtle but meaningful symbolism.
E. Writing & Narrative Voice
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: Distinctive, lyrical, or psychologically reflective prose that captures the rawness of youth and mental struggle.
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
Freaking loved this book, I read it in like 3 days. Writing was beautiful and I found the perspective fascinating. After discussing it with my book club I think I like it a little less, but still a must-read for me.
dark
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
dark
emotional
medium-paced