Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix

60 reviews

growintogardens's review against another edition

dark tense

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

0.25

Tw: sexual assault/rape, including assaults of minors

I am so disappointed!! I really wish I had read reviews before starting this book. I just saw the synopsis on the library app and went for it because it sounded like a fun premise. After a bit, I thought this would end up being a bit darker than the cover led me to believe, but not as dark as it ended up being. It was also really gory at times, and really, really gross in multiple ways (especially with rats/bugs, like really graphic with that part). Someone else mentioned it felt like it was set earlier than it stated, and I agree it felt a lot older than the 1990s. 

I had so many issues with this book. The male characters in this are absolute GARBAGE, the female friendships felt off to me, the fate of the characters that are raped/assaulted is a cliche, terrible mess, and the way the few black characters are treated is not good. I also didn't like any character, not a single one in the whole thing. It read like a bad 1980s movie tbh. I kept reading hoping that it would somehow redeem itself, because I did want to know how the evil was defeated, but I cannot recommend it at all.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gore, Murder, Racism, Toxic relationship, Blood, Sexual violence, Injury/Injury detail, Sexism, Stalking, Toxic friendship, Violence, Adult/minor relationship, Death, Rape, and Sexual assault

Moderate: Body horror, Child death, Animal death, Domestic abuse, and Suicide

lilawsahar's review against another edition

adventurous dark emotional mysterious tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This book was surprising good and woke for a white man. The title is very misleading. The book focuses a lot more of race, class, and gender than vampire slaying. It makes you hate men even more than you probably already do. And it brings to light the difference between black women and white women in the feminist movement. The feminist movement should include all women but white women put black women down and ignore WOC ‘s pain. This book is a wonderful piece of social commentary. If vampires don’t entice you then read it for that.  

Ps gaslighting is 90 percent of the book. 

Pps After finishing this book, I hate to throw up and cry. But in a good way? I feel very emotionally raw.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Body horror, Child death, Classism, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Gore, Grief, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt, Sexism, Racism, Murder, Misogyny, and Toxic friendship

Minor: Animal cruelty, Death, Dementia, Forced institutionalization, Adult/minor relationship, and Vomit

cady_sass's review against another edition

1.5

 I had to sit on this for while before I felt ready to write this review. Cliff notes: I did not like this. It feels dated in a way that is not enjoyable to read, the characters make very horrible decisions that are extremely difficult to reconcile, ethically and morally. While this is something I typically do like to read, in this case it comes off completely unrealistic and suspending disbelief, for me, was not doable. I pushed myself to finish and honestly wish I hadn't. If you are halfway thru this and are not feeling it, let yourself DNF. I have.... a LOT of thoughts to share. The 1.5 stars are simply due to the fact that this had enough going for it that I convinced myself it was worth finishing, even though I now wish I hadn't. 

I often struggle with reconciling my negative feelings for a book when it comes so highly recommended, and this book finally has helped me come to terms with the fact that I may just have very unpopular opinions in reading. That's alright, I am truly okay with it and it will likely make it easier to avoid things like this in the future, but there are a few things in this novel that I can't NOT discuss because of how problematic I find them: 

1. This is the early 90s but the marriages/relationships of the main character and her friends (book club) read as if it's set in the 50s. The only instances of horror I experienced while reading this came from the abhorrent but normalized sexism that is rampant throughout. One of the only reasons I pushed myself to finish this was the sliver of hope that there would be something redeemable at the end to make up for the horrible husbands in this book (yes, all of them) and the fact that there was no redemption for these women made me actually angry. 

2. There are SO many triggers in this books, some of them surprising and seemingly unrelated to the content, and very few people who recommended this acknowledged that fact when recommending it. I do understand that the individual reader needs to be aware of their own triggers and be actively seeking that information before reading, and I'm not someone who is typically triggered while reading so I rarely look them up because I don't need to. I was simply unprepared because NONE of those who recommended this (either friends or videos on booktube/booktok) relayed those warnings. 

3. Under any other circumstance I would've DNFed this, because by the time I reached the halfway point I was NOT invested and not feeling it. I pushed through for two reasons: first, because so many people liked and recommended it (I've learned my lesson, I think), and, second, because there WAS a way I saw this ending in a redeemable way that would've resulted in 3-3.5 stars. It seemed so obvious and possible by the time I was 2/3 through that I was actually excited for it to happen. I will explain my thoughts here in the spoilers below.



SPOILERS BELOW HERE

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Complaints & Problematic content, in no particular order: 

4. The entire title is a misnomer. This is the smallest of my qualms, but it is a large part of my disappointment. There is one vampire, the book club is at odd basically the entire book and barely come together even at the end, and they don't even really slay the one vampire they had? There's little to no discussion on their plan or how they anticipate slaying him, and when the "do" (still, he's not dead, right?) it comes off as completely unprepared, minus having hunting tools. 

5. THE HUSBANDS!!! They are unfaithful, they belittle and berate their wives, the abuse is rampant and simply accepted. Emotional, physical, psychological abuse at every turn. They accept this random man (vampire) into their lives and families and completely refuse to listen to their wives when they express concern about this stranger and the coincidences that are, in my opinion, a lot less circumstantial than they seem to believe. ALL OF YOUR WIVES are saying that something is wrong and you're just like "shut up, you dumb housewife. return to cleaning my home and treat this strange man as the king he is" and they're just like "okay, master" ........... This is where I hoped we would have a redeemable ending. The opportunities for the women to rise up against this "norm" and burn this man to the ground, along with their shitty husbands, were endless. 

6. I'm proud of Patricia for asking for a divorce. Honestly. But all of them should've been divorced by the end. One of them thought he gave his wife AIDS and still said nothing (also she had to lie to him about being in a book club because he's a controlling, religion obsessed man. who cheats on his wife). One of them literally beat his wife. Ladies, LEAVE HIM! Is it not clear how much I hate the husbands yet? :)

7. Three. Years. These women allow three years to pass and allow James near their children and in their homes after they were about to report him for selling drugs to children and causing children's death. There is simply not enough suspension of disbelief that can occur. There's absolutely no way. Even if you could convince me that they literally do not care about six mile because it's a poor black neighborhood (which you didn't) you cannot convince me that they decided their own children were not at risk even a little bit. When I realized we skipped ahead 3 years and things had proceeded "as normal" was when I put down the book and contemplated not finishing at all. This was too much. 

8. Vampire rape. Literally WTF. THAT'S HOW WE MAKE NEW VAMPIRES? That's it, that's the complaint. 

9. We spent a good chunk of time at the beginning of the book explaining how Patricia opened the bank account and utility accounts for James because he has no ID and she's just simply SO southern and hospitable that this seems like an okay thing to do. Okay, I can suspend disbelief and go with "this is the 90s" and maybe we are just that stupid and still never bring this up to our horrible husband about it as another reason to perhaps not trust him. Okay, I guess. But why did we do all this to not at least use this to our own benefit at the end of the novel? He, theoretically, has all of the money that the husbands lost, either tied up in assets that could be sold or ideally in liquid assets. In a bank account that PATRICIA OPENED. Why is she a poor divorcee at the end of the book? Go to the bank and your money!!!! Furthermore, the argument could be made that his house could be hers, the utilities are in her name and James disappeared. 

10. As much as I love the fact that Patricia's kids chose her over shithead Carter in the divorce, there was not nearly enough character redemption to make this believable. The whole book we were told over and over how much her kids hate her and how she continued to make decisions that made this rift worse, then they announce the divorce and they just love her again? Did I miss a chapter or two?

11. The ending I THOUGHT we might be approaching (and that we deserved) that kept me reading and would've made the horrible husbands more believable: I truly thought that James had turned all of the husbands into vampires. I thought that perhaps he shared immortality with his boys club, he was tired of being alone and wanted to put down roots in this neighborhood so he turned them and got them to invest in a project to keep them rich for a long time. All their boys trips were them learning the ways and feeding while out of town. That's also why the women kept calling the house, the obsession that is described after being fed on seemed to make that plot point relevant. It also made the the story of when the wives tried to take James down more palatable, the husbands became aware of a James-takedown and moved swiftly to shut it down hard and proceed as if everything were perfectly normal. Then, eventually, the wives would figure it out and therefore slay all the husbands (vampires) and emerge victorious. That's a book I would've liked, possibly loved. And it would've made the name actually make sense too. 

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk. :)

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pedophilia, Injury/Injury detail, Toxic relationship, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Sexism, Gaslighting, Animal death, Infidelity, Death, Rape, Violence, Toxic friendship, Child abuse, and Blood

yungblonde's review against another edition

dark mysterious tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gore, Terminal illness, Death, Dementia, Gaslighting, Murder, Rape, Suicide attempt, Blood, and Body horror

Moderate: Excrement, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Child death, Racism, Toxic friendship, and Toxic relationship

Minor: Alcoholism, Animal death, and Addiction

kam_pearson's review against another edition

dark emotional mysterious slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

2.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Suicide attempt, Terminal illness, Emotional abuse, Gore, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Forced institutionalization, Death of parent, Vomit, Body horror, Child abuse, Death, Dementia, Addiction, Blood, Animal death, Chronic illness, Drug abuse, and Toxic friendship

ripxw's review against another edition

dark emotional sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Adult/minor relationship, Death, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Suicide attempt, Blood, Forced institutionalization, Gaslighting, Rape, Sexual violence, and Violence

Moderate: Physical abuse, Injury/Injury detail, and Pedophilia

Minor: Drug abuse, Death of parent, Dementia, Terminal illness, Animal death, Classism, and Toxic friendship

hayleyvharrington's review against another edition

adventurous dark funny tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Child abuse, Child death, Classism, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, Confinement, Death, Death of parent, Dementia, Gore, Infidelity, Mental illness, Murder, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Violence, and Toxic friendship

Moderate: Animal cruelty

sunsetcity's review against another edition

challenging dark funny lighthearted mysterious tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Cancer, Dementia, Toxic friendship, Violence, Cannibalism, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Death of parent, Misogyny, Murder, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide attempt, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Animal death, Blood, Child death, Classism, Gaslighting, Gore, Infidelity, Medical content, Pedophilia, Racism, Sexism, Emotional abuse, Grief, Religious bigotry, and Sexual assault

kaceyjoy's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

This book was not for me. I should have just stopped reading it, but i struggle to ever do that, always hopeful it'll get better. There was just too much misogyny, too much white guilt, too many gorey details, and not enough interest for me. I appreciate the idea, but the execution was just not what I wanted out of the book.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Blood, Child abuse, Child death, Classism, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Dementia, Injury/Injury detail, Kidnapping, Sexism, Toxic friendship, Misogyny, Murder, Sexual assault, Gaslighting, Pedophilia, Suicide attempt, Animal cruelty, Colonisation, Gore, Religious bigotry, Toxic relationship, Violence, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Forced institutionalization, Suicidal thoughts, Racism, and Sexual violence

aniwillow's review against another edition

dark emotional mysterious medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Toxic friendship, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Pedophilia, Blood, and Drug abuse

Minor: Suicide attempt, Mental illness, Addiction, and Domestic abuse