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18 reviews for:
The Happiest Kids in the World: How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids (and Themselves) by Doing Less
Michele Hutchison, Rina Mae Acosta
3.69 AVERAGE
18 reviews for:
The Happiest Kids in the World: How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids (and Themselves) by Doing Less
Michele Hutchison, Rina Mae Acosta
3.69 AVERAGE
informative
fast-paced
I have a habit of reading books that are interesting to me on a geographic but not content level—so in this case, I'm not particularly interested in parenting, but this has a Netherlands context and is soooort of like Netherlands-based travel writing. It's a weird habit. I know it's a weird habit. And yet I persist, and here we are.
The book raises some interesting points, but ultimately it felt anecdote driven rather than data driven, to say nothing of the pro-Dutch bias here. The authors note at the end that the Dutch 'aren't really doing anything new. They are doing things modern-day American and British parents were brought up on themselves but seem to have lost sight of in their concerted, overly ambitious drive to perfection' (214). In other words, a lot of what the authors cite as Dutch parenting methods boil down to common sense...though often in ways that would be hard to translate to different cultural and legal systems. (Hard to say 'there shouldn't be so much emphasis to get ahead!' when being at the top of one's class can mean the difference between getting a scholarship to go to university and having to pay tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars, which means that the real takeaway here is 'overhaul the system').
I am interested, though, in the city/non-city differences. A number of the things that the authors claimsmugly that the Dutch do and Americans don't are also things that Christopher Ingraham noticed when he moved from an American city to an American small town (e.g., the principal greeting every student by name). The Netherlands has only eight cities with a population over 200,000, and none with a population reaching a million; the U.S. has ten cities with a population over a million (and roughly 115 with a population over 200,000). You'd think that might be a factor, no? (Especially when The Happiest Kids in the World occasionally qualifies claims with 'at least not outside of the major cities'...)
I don't know. The book is fine, and I'm being unduly harsh, I think. I found it frustrating to see one of the authors cite Sheryl Sandburg as saying that '"The most important career decision you're going to make is whether or not you have a life partner and who that partner is"' and then follow that up with 'I wholeheartedly agree with Sandburg on the partner issue—that he needs to believe in equal roles' (151, emphasis added). I raised a sceptical eyebrow to hear that, by working outside the home, 'In Germany, I may well have been called a Rabenmutter (a "raven mother"; the birds are known for neglecting their young), but in the Netherlands there is no shame in working rather than being a stay-at-home mom' (156); I recently read Achtung Baby, about parenting in Germany, which also mentioned that Germany is...wait for it...much better designed for, and accepting of, working mothers than the U.S. I'm not entirely sure what the takeaways are meant to be, other than 'move to the Netherlands or be jealous of those of us who have'.
So it's...still fine. Two and a half stars. It's just not for me.
The book raises some interesting points, but ultimately it felt anecdote driven rather than data driven, to say nothing of the pro-Dutch bias here. The authors note at the end that the Dutch 'aren't really doing anything new. They are doing things modern-day American and British parents were brought up on themselves but seem to have lost sight of in their concerted, overly ambitious drive to perfection' (214). In other words, a lot of what the authors cite as Dutch parenting methods boil down to common sense...though often in ways that would be hard to translate to different cultural and legal systems. (Hard to say 'there shouldn't be so much emphasis to get ahead!' when being at the top of one's class can mean the difference between getting a scholarship to go to university and having to pay tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars, which means that the real takeaway here is 'overhaul the system').
I am interested, though, in the city/non-city differences. A number of the things that the authors claim
I don't know. The book is fine, and I'm being unduly harsh, I think. I found it frustrating to see one of the authors cite Sheryl Sandburg as saying that '"The most important career decision you're going to make is whether or not you have a life partner and who that partner is"' and then follow that up with 'I wholeheartedly agree with Sandburg on the partner issue—that he needs to believe in equal roles' (151, emphasis added). I raised a sceptical eyebrow to hear that, by working outside the home, 'In Germany, I may well have been called a Rabenmutter (a "raven mother"; the birds are known for neglecting their young), but in the Netherlands there is no shame in working rather than being a stay-at-home mom' (156); I recently read Achtung Baby, about parenting in Germany, which also mentioned that Germany is...wait for it...much better designed for, and accepting of, working mothers than the U.S. I'm not entirely sure what the takeaways are meant to be, other than 'move to the Netherlands or be jealous of those of us who have'.
So it's...still fine. Two and a half stars. It's just not for me.
informative
lighthearted
reflective
slow-paced
funny
informative
lighthearted
medium-paced
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I didn't like the portion discussing controlled crying, because I don't agree with it. She mentions that her sister-in-law (I believe) had her child sleeping through the night by 3 months. Children at this age still need nourishment throughout the night, and parents could believe that this should be the norm, when it is not. I also wasn't comfortable with the incredibly liberal take on sex, but I know that the Dutch are incredibly liberal, so this didn't shock me. I did appreciate many aspects, in particular being comfortable with being normal, and not constantly striving to force your child ahead of their peers. Well worth the read!
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
This was a great introduction to Dutch parenting! A lot of good points on what they do differently compared to in other countries like the US. It was mostly about the authors own experiences and data, which was great but, less actionable items that could be more helpful. It was an easy read and helped me unlearn some of my own notions of parenting but it’s not as in depth as I’d hoped.
More like 3.5. I can't put my finger on it but I just didn't enjoy this as much as Bringing up Bebé. I think perhaps, being American, the ideas in here were less adaptable to do here than what was suggested in Bringing up Bebé.
informative
medium-paced
A great introduction to the culture of Dutch parenting-however, it is just that; an INTRODUCTION. Those looking for in depth advice should look elsewhere.
Content Warnings
Minor: Pedophilia, Trafficking, Kidnapping