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emikateb's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Bullying and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Mental illness, Pandemic/Epidemic, Abandonment, Drug abuse, Gaslighting, Racism, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Infidelity, Chronic illness, Addiction, Classism, and Panic attacks/disorders
bookishmillennial's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
Yet another stunning work of art from Kacen Callender <3 Gosh, I actually cannot get over how talented and incredible they are. Ever since I closed this book, I can't stop thinking about it.
I know it was published in 2022, which was *only* two years ago, but its messages around social media, perceptions, accountability versus shaming, and self-introspection were so fucking powerful, timely, and honestly could act as a primer for anyone joining public online spaces especially. I think this work will be relevant for years to come, as social media evolves and the visceral awareness of which we all have in recognizing we are fallible, we will mess up, and it will likely be recorded. It's uncomfortable, but it's life, and we need to try our best to move forward in ways that do not perpetuate further harm.
UGH I ADORE THIS BOOK SO MUCH! I feel like I'm totally botching this review (I'm sorry, I'm not a writer, I'm just a peasant who loves to read) and nothing can do the book justice. It was just so staggeringly authentic and poignant about the time we are living in (I'm grateful for it, don't misinterpret that!)! I really urge everyone to read this, as KC brings up so many important conversations that we should ALL be having (if not already<3).
Lark, our Black main character, is a sweet little naive idealist angelbaby who wants everyone to reach for love first, and wholeheartedly believes everyone comes from love, and that hate is taught. They have amassed thousands of followers (I think about 20k at the beginning of the book) online, and they know that once they reach 50k followers, they will be more enticing for agents to respond to and to actually take their debut manuscript seriously. Lark desperately wants to be a published writer, and their first novel centers around YA main character Birdie, who not only lives on the pages of their manuscript, but is also present with them (sort of as an imaginary firend, but moreso Lark's coping mechanism of talking through their feelings in their head) and who we see on-page in this novel, especially during awkward moments (and there are plenty in this book lol!).
Lark is also still quietly reeling from the fallout of a formative friendship in the past year with Kasim, who acts as a foil of Lark. Kasim is perpetually unimpressed, does not have faith in systems, and is generally pessimistic. He thinks Lark's commitment to love and light is corny, and I don't blame him. He is in a relationship with Sable, who is also neurodivergent and begins to play a bigger role in Lark's journey. Sable doesn't necessarily extend an olive branch out to Lark, but she gives them the time of day, which is more than Kasim's other friends Patch and Micah, can say. They continue to call out Lark online and in person, antagonizing them every chance they get, without ever really trying to open a dialogue, and we see how this exhausts and confuses Lark even further.
The book follows a narrative of someone accidentally posting on Lark's account about "loving someone but being too afraid to tell them," and everyone thinks Lark is in an unrequited love situation. So, because they are scared of optics and think it will help their brand, they lie and say they did post that, and end up confessing their love for Eli, someone they *had* been crushing on, but weren't particularly *in love with* yet. The longer and longer the lie goes, the more and more Lark fumbles with thoughts that they post (like some really cringe-worthy stuff, but that absolutely does snowball into some folks entirely missing the plot ughhh), and the more that Lark must confront if the person they are, is 1) possible in the current world and 2) if they want to evolve and expand their perspective/mindset.
I really enjoyed this book because it speaks to me as a public bookstagrammer; look, I'm a nobody, please nobody roast me hahaha, I just really do get the aspects of navigating an online social media account with many eyes watching you and honestly, sometimes seemingly hoping you will fuck up? Anyway, I love the idea of exploring what it means to truly be an abolitionist; what it means to let go of punitive measures; what it means to be "redeemable" or worthy of a second chance; what it means to be in community with folks & what we owe each other; and what it means to implement these ideals into our daily lives, both on and offline.
There is so much that this book covers with immense care, hope, and passion:
- polyamorous relationships and explorations
- being autistic, having ADHD, and (undiagnosed) neurodivergence
- navigating if YOU are indeed the toxic villain that others say you are while genuinely trying to self-examine and explore why you keep fumbling, and how you can do better
- miscommunication in friendships, and how this can snowball into something so much bigger
- the writing / querying journey of trying to get your manuscript into someone's hands; simply hoping someone can give you a chance, amidst all of the rejection of being told "not Black enough," "not realistic," "too self-aware or deep FOR A YA CHARACTER," etc. it's brutal out here!
- social media: growing a following, the downfall of influencers/being "cancelled," shaming versus holding accountable, optics, how to move forward after making a mistake
- absent parents (due to incarceration and systemic racism)
- naming feelings, being transparent, opening dialogues, and fostering braver spaces
Quotations that stood out to me (I have 80 highlights, so dwindling this down to 8 was a *journey* and extremely painful hahaha):
I nod, staring at the polished stone. “I think that’s what scares me the most. Being honest, just to be rejected. What’s the point of that?” I ask her. “I don’t want to show anyone my true self, just for other people to say I’m not good enough.”
Sable considers me, her gaze soft. “But being vulnerable is the only way you can really connect to anyone. How’re you supposed to connect with someone as a false version of yourself?”
There’s something about Sable—her energy, maybe—that makes me feel safe, makes me feel like I can practice showing her the real Lark.
“I’m sorry for judging you,” I finally say.
“It’s okay.” They walk back over and lean against their desk, staring hard at their phone.
I kind of wish they would apologize, too, because I don’t think I was the only one who made a mistake— Birdie leans against the doorframe. “Is expressing yourself in a non-harmful way ever a mistake?” —and my feelings are hurt also, but I don’t know how to ask for an apology, and I don’t want them to be mad at me, not anymore, not ever again.
It’s been over a year of this. This growing anger and resentment and hurt. And for what? Why? Because we didn’t know how to communicate yet, to ask each other questions and get clear answers? Jesus. How much might’ve been different if we’d just figured out how to talk about our feelings?
So, here’s one thing about being neurodivergent: When I find an obsession, I really find an obsession, and for some people those obsessions might be something fun and upbeat and cool, like penguins or ice cream, but no, for me, right now, it’s trauma. Maybe that’s not something I should say out loud. “I’m obsessed with trauma.” Ha. Ever since the last class with Mr. S, where he talked about characters and trauma, I’ve started to wonder if I’m a character in a story, and if I need to figure out what my trauma is to start to grow, to change, to learn how to really and truly love myself. I scroll online as I read different web-sites. Trauma is legit stored in our bodies. It’s in our cells, which means that we have our ancestor’s traumas, too, and, holy shit, that’s a lot of fucking trauma—too much for me to even understand. When you heal your own trauma, you’re healing your ancestors’ traumas, too. That’s beautiful. Beautiful enough to make me cry.
White people write novels of dystopian futures and fantasies where they have to escape these systems of oppression, evil monarchs and corrupt governments. They don’t realize that Black people are the actual main characters. We’re the humans with magic in our blood, dismantling the systems from the inside out. We’re the godly beings, taught to be hated and feared. We’re the rebels, fighting for our lives in the streets. Surviving, even when so many want us dead. Thriving, even with what they have done to the people who came before us. It’s a miracle that I’m here. I’m a miracle. Black people are miraculous. That alone should be a reason for me to love myself. Why isn’t it enough?
Instead of wanting to discuss what I said, even if they disagreed with me, they jumped at the chance to attack me in a race for as many likes and retweets as possible, like it’s a competition or a game. What’s scariest of all? I really could be the harmful narcissist in this, trying to convince myself that I’m not. This is such a mindfuck. I’m confused and hurt and frustrated, and I don’t even know if I’m allowed to have those feelings.
Guilt is about action. Guilt lets us focus on what we need to do to make up for our mistake and how we can limit the harm we caused, while knowing with all the confidence in the world that we’re still worthy of love. Each and every one of us.
“No. I like awkward. I like uncomfortable. That’s where the hard conversations happen. That’s where we’re forced to be honest with ourselves and each other. That’s when we start to learn and grow together.”
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Ableism, Bullying, Toxic friendship, Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Racism, Transphobia, and Police brutality
writingcaia's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
On this one we have a very eager to please, 17-year-old, Black, neurodivergent, non-binary Lark, who seems to be very confused about who they are and what is really important, which seems to have happened along with their distancing from their best friend, the Black and trans Kasim.
When their Twitter blows up with a recent unrequited love declaration tweet that they realise Kasim wrote on their account by accident instead of coming clean, afraid of the blow back, they perpetuate the lie. Inevitably their lies and the confrontation with their self comes crashing, but not before starting dating with Eli, their crush, and making new friends they might lose if the lie is discovered.
It’s a very interior book, with a lot of inner dialogue, not surprising with a character in the spectrum who wants to be a writer, but there’re external debates too that expand on their thoughts, about truth, race, love, forgiveness, acceptance and accountability.
It has YA tone more than Felix Ever After, just so you know, but it wasn’t juvenile or lame, I actually loved the little quips Kacen added about being a YA vs an adult, and the criticism of one and a the other as readers and people.
Having said that, it did become a bit repetitive towards the middle and I was getting a bit bored with Lark and the constant similar thoughts and actions, but I guess it was the objective to showcase their personality, issues and difficulties, as it then shifts some and the pacing accelerates according to the events that start to occur in and outside Lark’s mind. Still, it did put me off for a bit, luckily I persevered, because the story is worth it.
Last, although we don’t have Kasim’s POV he is very much a present character, and his issues of abandonment, race and depression, plus his own reckoning were some of my favourite parts. In truth, the cast is excellent, and you get a real feel for all of them and their own struggles.
A beautiful story that I’d definitely recommend to teens, and adults who are not afraid to learn and reckon their own selves— bias, prejudices, superiority with seniority will not be tolerated, so buckle up.
Graphic: Mental illness, Bullying, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Racism, Panic attacks/disorders, Bullying, and Gaslighting
Minor: Pandemic/Epidemic, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, and Police brutality
beckyyreadss's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Bullying, Toxic relationship, and Mental illness
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, and Gaslighting
Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, and Police brutality
robyn_fenix's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Death of parent, Drug use, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Bullying, Gaslighting, and Racism
Moderate: Pandemic/Epidemic, Classism, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Ableism, and Transphobia
evelynyle_88's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Graphic: Mental illness, Bullying, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Racism, Gaslighting, and Panic attacks/disorders
Minor: Transphobia, Police brutality, and Suicidal thoughts
wintah's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Moderate: Homophobia, Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Drug use, Pandemic/Epidemic, Mental illness, Hate crime, Sexism, Ableism, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Police brutality, Transphobia, and Bullying
mx_sunshine's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
I love Lark and Kasim and Sable and Asha and Jamal and Micha and Patcha and Mr S and Eli and Taye and Lark’s Mum…
Every character had such a unique impact and influence on Lark and on each other. It felt really special to experience their growth.
I loved Birdie and all they represented and meant to Lark.
I’m so grateful to live in this world at this time where authors like Kacen Callender can share their stories and hopes.
I feel like there is so much to learn from Kacen and from this novel. It is definitely one I’d love to revisit.
Graphic: Drug use, Mental illness, Bullying, Toxic relationship, Racism, Ableism, and Transphobia
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders, Cursing, and Gaslighting
Minor: Abandonment, Colonisation, Death of parent, Police brutality, and Suicidal thoughts
Main character has experienced traumatic bullying in their past. Two panic attacks are described. In both instances they end up safe. Cannabis is used in this novel. All experiences are positive and with friend/s. Depression and anxiety are discussed. Racism, ableism, and transphobia is discussed at length in relation to the character’s identity. Social commentary is also given on these issues.legalplanner's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Lark & Karim were friends but have recently had a falling out, which has created a huge rift between them. Lark is the kind of person who is always dreaming, but because of their anxiety and neurodivergence they are always trying to please the people they interact with. Karim is the kind of person who doesn't care what people think on the surface because he wants to be fine with who he is regardless of what people think.
The representation in this book was amazing. Most of the cast is african American in a community center in Philly. However, they all come from different classes and that felt very important to me because while they may have one shared experience they all did not experience the same struggles.
One of my qualms that dropped my rating was how brutal Kasim and Lark are to each other. They're constantly trashing each other and getting into fights but clearly Kasim knows that Lark is potentially neurodivergent but still always questions her. That was extremely frustrating to see because they didn't feel like a good friend to Lark. The pacing was also SO SLOW. That was another point that brought my rating down. Overall a great read but took a while to get in.
Graphic: Gaslighting and Mental illness
Moderate: Bullying, Toxic relationship, and Toxic friendship
dododenise's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I think this book can be summarised as being about nuance. Especially in a world where there seems no space for nuance, the book tried.
This was surprising to see, as this book would probably be considered “woke bullshit” by conservatives. It very much is gen z through and through. It deals with the beautiful pain that is twitter. It deals with activism. Racism. Transphobia. Homophobia. Bullying. A lot of it is basically what it means to be a teenager in this day and age.
I saw a lot of myself in Lark. Although, Lark is a million times better at communicating their thoughts compared to me. And of course, there’s the very big aspect that I am white, and they are black, which, you know, creates very different experiences in and of itself. Still, our personalities are very similar. Add to that our queerness, both nonbinary and maybe probably neurodivergent, and I got a character which mirrored a lot of myself. It feels like a combination of me with 17 and me now. You can definitely some sprinkles of Kasim in there, who brought different perspectives in there and added to the question I ask(ed) myself.
There were so many deep conversations in this book. Maybe they can get a bit much at times, feel a bit tacky and pseudo deep. Idk. But really, I enjoyed all of them. A lot of the thoughts I have were talked about in this book and that was so interesting. Yet, they were still all teenagers and stuck in their heads. But who isn’t?
And of course, I enjoyed the diversity. A black cast of characters. The mc being black, nonbinary, neurodivergent and polyamorous. The love interests being black, trans and poly too. This was the first time I read about polyamory this openly and I really enjoyed it!
Overall, there was a lot of honesty and thoughtfulness in this book. I am glad I read this in on my break so I had the energy to let myself be pulled along by all those thoughts.
Graphic: Gaslighting, Bullying, Mental illness, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Death of parent, Racism, Cursing, Panic attacks/disorders, Drug use, Transphobia, Homophobia, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Police brutality