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112 reviews for:
Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape
Jessica Valenti, Jaclyn Friedman
4.16 AVERAGE
112 reviews for:
Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape
Jessica Valenti, Jaclyn Friedman
4.16 AVERAGE
Essays on body sovereignty and the intersectionality of oppressions with regards to sexual power. Wonderfully insightful from so many perspectives.
Thought-provoking with many different ideas on how to envisage a new world in which women are granted full sexual autonomy without being sexually shamed.
Everybody should read this.
Everybody should read this.
This is a book that explores the different facets of consent and women's sexual-self determinism, and how enthusiastic consent can help bring an end to rape culture.
I was a little concerned that the book wouldn't move past "you go girl!" rah-rah feminism (I associate [a:Jessica Valenti|222118|Jessica Valenti|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1235527323p2/222118.jpg] with this camp), and there was certainly some of that, as well as some familiar ground being covered ([a:Lisa Jervis|1166430|Lisa Jervis|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1243828101p2/1166430.jpg]'s piece comes to mind; it feels I've read the same article at least half a dozen times since 1996. Not to diminish the piece, it's an excellent treatment of the subject -- why the concept of "gray rape" is both absurd and dangerous -- but it's not exactly groundbreaking). However, the selection of essays presents a much broader picture than I expected. Topics touched on include the experiences of immigrant women, fat women (by the one and only Kate Harding), sex workers, and incest survivors; intersections between anti-rape activism and working in a sex toy store; military prisoner abuse and how traditional gender roles are used against both prisoners and female soldiers; the Duke lacross team rape case as a study of the media's issues surrounding consent and what it means, particularly for women of color; sex education, self-defense, and educating boys. In some of these cases -- probably most, realistically speaking -- simply promoting enthusiastic consent isn't enough to end rape and assault, but almost every author acknowledges this fact in her or his own way, and many of them do present solutions that relate to women's consent and/or autonomy in one way or another.
Like all essay collections, this is a mixed bag, but overall I'd say there were enough more hits than misses to give a strong recommendation. Even the articles that I didn't like mostly bothered me in ways that made me think, and it's hard to ask for more than that.
I was a little concerned that the book wouldn't move past "you go girl!" rah-rah feminism (I associate [a:Jessica Valenti|222118|Jessica Valenti|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1235527323p2/222118.jpg] with this camp), and there was certainly some of that, as well as some familiar ground being covered ([a:Lisa Jervis|1166430|Lisa Jervis|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1243828101p2/1166430.jpg]'s piece comes to mind; it feels I've read the same article at least half a dozen times since 1996. Not to diminish the piece, it's an excellent treatment of the subject -- why the concept of "gray rape" is both absurd and dangerous -- but it's not exactly groundbreaking). However, the selection of essays presents a much broader picture than I expected. Topics touched on include the experiences of immigrant women, fat women (by the one and only Kate Harding), sex workers, and incest survivors; intersections between anti-rape activism and working in a sex toy store; military prisoner abuse and how traditional gender roles are used against both prisoners and female soldiers; the Duke lacross team rape case as a study of the media's issues surrounding consent and what it means, particularly for women of color; sex education, self-defense, and educating boys. In some of these cases -- probably most, realistically speaking -- simply promoting enthusiastic consent isn't enough to end rape and assault, but almost every author acknowledges this fact in her or his own way, and many of them do present solutions that relate to women's consent and/or autonomy in one way or another.
Like all essay collections, this is a mixed bag, but overall I'd say there were enough more hits than misses to give a strong recommendation. Even the articles that I didn't like mostly bothered me in ways that made me think, and it's hard to ask for more than that.
The essays I loved, I really loved. The essays I didn't, I just skipped.
My favorite essays:
Toward a Performance Model of Sex
Queering Black Female Sexuality
Invasion of Space by a Female
When Sexual Autonomy Isn't Enough
The Not-Rape Epidemic
Why Nice Guys Finish Last
When Pregnancy is Outlawed, Only Outlaws will be Pregnant
The Process-Oriented Virgin
An Immodest Proposal
Hooking Up with Healthy Sexuality
What it Feels Like When it Finally Comes
Trial by Media
Sex Worth Fighting For
Real Sex Education
Lots of powerful ideas in here - as well as a few annoying/misguided ones.
Definitely worth the effort.
Toward a Performance Model of Sex
Queering Black Female Sexuality
Invasion of Space by a Female
When Sexual Autonomy Isn't Enough
The Not-Rape Epidemic
Why Nice Guys Finish Last
When Pregnancy is Outlawed, Only Outlaws will be Pregnant
The Process-Oriented Virgin
An Immodest Proposal
Hooking Up with Healthy Sexuality
What it Feels Like When it Finally Comes
Trial by Media
Sex Worth Fighting For
Real Sex Education
Lots of powerful ideas in here - as well as a few annoying/misguided ones.
Definitely worth the effort.
ABSOLUTE MUST-READ FOR ANY ASPIRING FEMINIST or even ant-feminists, as it's an incredible overview of a host of issues and ideas within the field in an enthralling, captivating, and witty variety of voices!!! Loved it a lot; learned a lot; couldn't put it down.
Well balanced as far as topics and heavy and light. I guess more on the heavy side. It's a tough subject. I think culture has made some progress since this was done around a decade ago. Still mostly relevant.
Things that people can do to prevent rape that goes BEYOND restricting the actions of women, with a heaping dose of female sexual autonomy. Recommended - I will likely get my own copy at some point.
This book is actually surprisingly sexy. That's right a sexy book about stopping rape. The basic premise of the book (although its a series of essays so they aren't all sticking to the same point), is that instead of consent being about the absence of a no it should be about the presence of an enthusiastic yes. That if women are free to ask for sex when they want it and be open about their desires sex ceases to be a commodity (something men try to get from women who don't want to give it away).
I think this would go a long way to reducing "date rape" and what one author calls "not rape" meaning sexual assault and times when women say don't say no but want to. I have a couple of problems with the premise. Firstly I doubt this will stop rapes by strangers and women who are attacked as a method of war. Secondly I don't really know what to do with this information, yes it would be wonderful if young women were taught to love their bodies and feel free to say yes or no to sex based on nothing other than their own desires but we don't live in that world. And while I'm all for striving for that what do we do in the mean time? The final essay deals with this pretty well but the other writers seem to ignore the fact that we women have to live in the real world.
That being said it was a great book and I recommend it.
I think this would go a long way to reducing "date rape" and what one author calls "not rape" meaning sexual assault and times when women say don't say no but want to. I have a couple of problems with the premise. Firstly I doubt this will stop rapes by strangers and women who are attacked as a method of war. Secondly I don't really know what to do with this information, yes it would be wonderful if young women were taught to love their bodies and feel free to say yes or no to sex based on nothing other than their own desires but we don't live in that world. And while I'm all for striving for that what do we do in the mean time? The final essay deals with this pretty well but the other writers seem to ignore the fact that we women have to live in the real world.
That being said it was a great book and I recommend it.
"I heal not like a cliche but like I can see new cells being made, the purple and magenta color of the outside of the skin cells, the bone being reknit. - Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, “What It Feels Like When It Finally Comes: Surviving Incest in Real Life"
I came to this as a down-to-earth feminism book. After reading Gender Trouble, I found ideas of phallogocentrism and normativity all very interesting, but felt frustrated with the esoteric academic jargon, and how far it all felt from the daily living-out of a life. There are ideas that interest me as ideas, but maybe feminism isn't one of those -- the stakes are too high for me.
Yes Means Yes! is a good grounding book for modern feminists. The essays gathered here are far more diverse than I expected. There are voices here of immigrant women, working-class women, all different genders, orientations, abilities. This book shows that the feminist fight isn't something for white yuppies -- the highest stakes and the most brilliant ideas are in the border-crossings and skid rows and shop floors.
The essays also work through some of the harder knots in our thinking through sex-positivity: can sex-work be "empowering"? what's feminist about BDSM? what would sex-positive education for children look like?
Not all of the essays are well-written. Not all of them are self-aware of their own privilege. But by and large, I see this book as a thoughtful reworking of feminism, incorporating the best critiques levelled at the old models by women of color, differently-abled women, transgender people, sex workers, working-class women, and others.
I came to this as a down-to-earth feminism book. After reading Gender Trouble, I found ideas of phallogocentrism and normativity all very interesting, but felt frustrated with the esoteric academic jargon, and how far it all felt from the daily living-out of a life. There are ideas that interest me as ideas, but maybe feminism isn't one of those -- the stakes are too high for me.
Yes Means Yes! is a good grounding book for modern feminists. The essays gathered here are far more diverse than I expected. There are voices here of immigrant women, working-class women, all different genders, orientations, abilities. This book shows that the feminist fight isn't something for white yuppies -- the highest stakes and the most brilliant ideas are in the border-crossings and skid rows and shop floors.
The essays also work through some of the harder knots in our thinking through sex-positivity: can sex-work be "empowering"? what's feminist about BDSM? what would sex-positive education for children look like?
Not all of the essays are well-written. Not all of them are self-aware of their own privilege. But by and large, I see this book as a thoughtful reworking of feminism, incorporating the best critiques levelled at the old models by women of color, differently-abled women, transgender people, sex workers, working-class women, and others.