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112 reviews for:
Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape
Jessica Valenti, Jaclyn Friedman
4.16 AVERAGE
112 reviews for:
Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape
Jessica Valenti, Jaclyn Friedman
4.16 AVERAGE
Many essays, some of which were not as tightly written as I prefer, but all of which were well worth a read. I'll simply list the essays I found most enlightening—those that pointed to intersections I hadn't thought of before—along with short excerpts or quick summaries of their topic. Of the book's twenty-seven essays, definitely read the following:
-"Offensive Feminism: The Conservative Gender Norms That Perpetuate Rape Culture, and How Feminists Can Fight Back" by Jill Filipovic
"...Not until the 1980s did most states criminalize marital rape. Prevailing opinion held that when a bride said, 'I do,' she was legally committed to say, 'I will' for the rest of her life."
-"Toward a Performance Model of Sex" by Thomas Macaulay Millar
"We live in a culture where sex is not so much an act as a thing: a substance that can be given, bought, sold, or stolen, that has a value and a supply-and-demand curve. In this 'commodity model,' sex is like a ticket; women have it and men try to get it."
-"Queering Black Female Heterosexuality" by Kimberly Springer
On the "mammy" and "jezebel" caricatures and attempts to move away from these stereotypes as well as from the "updated" versions of them.
-"The Fantasy of Acceptable 'Non-Consent': Why the Female Sexual Submissive Scares Us (and Why She Shouldn't)" by Stacey May Fowles
--> I highlighted so much of this essay that it was hard to pick one quote, so I'll just try to summarize one of the main points: "Mainstream porn" misappropriates "those desires specific to BDSM" and borrows "from BDSM's images without readings its rules", leading viewers "to believe that what women want is to be coerced and, in some cases, forced into acts they don't consent to". In actuality, proper BDSM "play" is thoroughly negotiated beforehand and is likely more vetted with voiced, enthusiastic consent than vanilla sexual encounters.
-"Invasion of Space by a Female" by Coco Fusco
An amazing essay on certain interrogation techniques in the US military and the Abu Ghraib scandal.
-"When Sexual Autonomy Isn't Enough: Sexual Violence Against Immigrant Women in the United States" by Miriam Zoila Perez
This whole essay is great and covers a lot of ground.
-"When Pregnancy Is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Be Pregnant" by Tiloma Jayasinghe
Probably the best essay of the bunch; it's on the attempts to legislate/prosecute women suffering from drug addiction who are also pregnant and wish to carry their baby to term.
"When women who are addicted to drugs do seek to carry to term, they are liable to be punished more harshly for giving birth than if they had sought an illegal abortion (were abortion to become illegal again). And yet the anti-choice machine has not stepped up in their defense, despite the fact that these women 'chose life', and despite the fact that being punished for continuing to term while grappling with a drug problem only deters women from seeking healthcare and substance-abuse treatment. In fact, these [prosecution] cases are supported by the anti-abortion groups because the people whom these laws affect are those women who procreation is not valued anyway—those low-income women who are typically of color. Anti-abortion groups are clearly 'pro life' only for certain kinds of life (white and middle to upper class) and are really, in fact, anti-sex."
-"Purely Rape: The Myth of Sexual Purity and How It Reinforces Rape Culture" by Jessica Valenti
"The purity myth—the lie that sexuality defines how 'good' women are, and that women's moral compasses are inextricable from their bodies—is an integral part of rape culture."
-"Offensive Feminism: The Conservative Gender Norms That Perpetuate Rape Culture, and How Feminists Can Fight Back" by Jill Filipovic
"...Not until the 1980s did most states criminalize marital rape. Prevailing opinion held that when a bride said, 'I do,' she was legally committed to say, 'I will' for the rest of her life."
-"Toward a Performance Model of Sex" by Thomas Macaulay Millar
"We live in a culture where sex is not so much an act as a thing: a substance that can be given, bought, sold, or stolen, that has a value and a supply-and-demand curve. In this 'commodity model,' sex is like a ticket; women have it and men try to get it."
-"Queering Black Female Heterosexuality" by Kimberly Springer
On the "mammy" and "jezebel" caricatures and attempts to move away from these stereotypes as well as from the "updated" versions of them.
-"The Fantasy of Acceptable 'Non-Consent': Why the Female Sexual Submissive Scares Us (and Why She Shouldn't)" by Stacey May Fowles
--> I highlighted so much of this essay that it was hard to pick one quote, so I'll just try to summarize one of the main points: "Mainstream porn" misappropriates "those desires specific to BDSM" and borrows "from BDSM's images without readings its rules", leading viewers "to believe that what women want is to be coerced and, in some cases, forced into acts they don't consent to". In actuality, proper BDSM "play" is thoroughly negotiated beforehand and is likely more vetted with voiced, enthusiastic consent than vanilla sexual encounters.
-"Invasion of Space by a Female" by Coco Fusco
An amazing essay on certain interrogation techniques in the US military and the Abu Ghraib scandal.
-"When Sexual Autonomy Isn't Enough: Sexual Violence Against Immigrant Women in the United States" by Miriam Zoila Perez
This whole essay is great and covers a lot of ground.
-"When Pregnancy Is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Be Pregnant" by Tiloma Jayasinghe
Probably the best essay of the bunch; it's on the attempts to legislate/prosecute women suffering from drug addiction who are also pregnant and wish to carry their baby to term.
"When women who are addicted to drugs do seek to carry to term, they are liable to be punished more harshly for giving birth than if they had sought an illegal abortion (were abortion to become illegal again). And yet the anti-choice machine has not stepped up in their defense, despite the fact that these women 'chose life', and despite the fact that being punished for continuing to term while grappling with a drug problem only deters women from seeking healthcare and substance-abuse treatment. In fact, these [prosecution] cases are supported by the anti-abortion groups because the people whom these laws affect are those women who procreation is not valued anyway—those low-income women who are typically of color. Anti-abortion groups are clearly 'pro life' only for certain kinds of life (white and middle to upper class) and are really, in fact, anti-sex."
-"Purely Rape: The Myth of Sexual Purity and How It Reinforces Rape Culture" by Jessica Valenti
"The purity myth—the lie that sexuality defines how 'good' women are, and that women's moral compasses are inextricable from their bodies—is an integral part of rape culture."
You won’t be surprised to learn that I nodded emphatically to many points made in this essay collection. I think it would be especially meaningful read for a reader who has just started exploring his/her/their sexuality. Unfortunately, some of the essayists were weaker writers than others, and the unevenness of the book (some 4-star essays, some 2-star) brings me to my 3-star review.