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112 reviews for:
Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape
Jessica Valenti, Jaclyn Friedman
4.16 AVERAGE
112 reviews for:
Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape
Jessica Valenti, Jaclyn Friedman
4.16 AVERAGE
"Rape is not taboo because it is violence; it is taboo because sex is the weapon of violence."
been meaning to read this book for years, glad i finally did. highly recommend reading the sections that speak to you, now more than ever.
been meaning to read this book for years, glad i finally did. highly recommend reading the sections that speak to you, now more than ever.
This is an informative and thoughtful book on the horrible culture of rape, but what resonated with me most about this book was the positivity, conviction, and belief in change that it was written with.
Love, Love, LOVE this book. It reinforced again and again concepts that I have argued for time and again in the past, and sincerely hope will become second-nature in the future:
-Rape is caused by Rapists. Period. There's nothing that you do to cause yourself to be raped.
-Girls and young women should be taught that their sexual desires are normal, and that both YES and NO are valid responses to the sex question.
-An "absence of no" shouldn't be the baseline for sexual encounters-- an "enthusiastic yes" should be required.
I was surprised by the breadth of contributions in this anthology and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing a number of different authors' voices all imagining the same thing: a world where a woman's sexuality is valued just as much as a man's.
-Rape is caused by Rapists. Period. There's nothing that you do to cause yourself to be raped.
-Girls and young women should be taught that their sexual desires are normal, and that both YES and NO are valid responses to the sex question.
-An "absence of no" shouldn't be the baseline for sexual encounters-- an "enthusiastic yes" should be required.
I was surprised by the breadth of contributions in this anthology and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing a number of different authors' voices all imagining the same thing: a world where a woman's sexuality is valued just as much as a man's.
This is by far the most enlightening, educational and informative book I've ever read on the topics of rape, sexuality, consent, masculinity, femininity, gender, pleasure, incest, dating, love, misogyny, birth, pregnancy, female empowerment, and trauma, many of which are tied to each other, or race and/or class. I personally loved that it was a collection of essays grouped together by theme; I followed the "jumping around" throughout the book that Friedman and Valenti encouraged-I didn't read from start to finish, moreso by essay to essay. Most of the essays are definitely worth it; I had been apprehensive of the book because Jessica Valenti/feministing turn me off sometimes but I'm happy that I went ahead and bought this at a local used bookstore and read it. (Margaret Cho's introduction is also well worth the read).
If you have any initial desire to read this book, you're probably already headed in the more open-minded (I'd say right, also) and progressive direction, and also know what you're getting into. Pick this book up and you won't be disappointed, I assure you.
If you have any initial desire to read this book, you're probably already headed in the more open-minded (I'd say right, also) and progressive direction, and also know what you're getting into. Pick this book up and you won't be disappointed, I assure you.
This collection of essays challenged my notions around sex, helping me recognize and define some of the more messed up ideas (maybe it's more than just being raised Catholic!) and discussing concrete and philosophical ways to improve my relationship to sex and especially to consent.
I like the way the essays recommend each other at the end. I found it much more difficult to actually navigate that on an ebook than it should have been. There is room for improvement by the publisher, I think.
I like the way the essays recommend each other at the end. I found it much more difficult to actually navigate that on an ebook than it should have been. There is room for improvement by the publisher, I think.
This is a kick-ass resource, and mind-expanding to boot.
I do not believe this a "problematic" book as I have seen stated. The problem is that eleven years later and there is still a need for this book. A lot of wonderful essays and brave people speaking out. It is never the easiest of topics to read about, but I believe it is necessary.
I really thought I would find this interesting, but it was such a slog. I felt like I should keep reading because I’m a female human on this planet and stuff, but also I am mortal and being bored for a very unreasonable need for the mildest nobility is a waste of my time. DNF.
For a book - and a movement - that touts intersectionality, "Yes Means Yes!," a tour de force of writing talents ranging from WOC lesbians to straight trans and so on, completely ignores conservative and religious feminists.
Yes, we exist!
In fact, "Yes Means Yes!" reads more as a list of grievances against the Right Wing - who, according to the editors and authors, is completely made up of white religious men - with the authors of the essays roundly lambasting a straw-man version of conservative ideology.
That's a crying shame, because some of what the writers had to say was good, hard-hitting, realistic stuff - but it was couched in such hateful, one-sided rhetoric that it turned even me off, and I consider myself very feminist, despite my identity as a "Right Wing religious nut who hates women."
Overall, a good idea, timely, but alienating.
Yes, we exist!
In fact, "Yes Means Yes!" reads more as a list of grievances against the Right Wing - who, according to the editors and authors, is completely made up of white religious men - with the authors of the essays roundly lambasting a straw-man version of conservative ideology.
That's a crying shame, because some of what the writers had to say was good, hard-hitting, realistic stuff - but it was couched in such hateful, one-sided rhetoric that it turned even me off, and I consider myself very feminist, despite my identity as a "Right Wing religious nut who hates women."
Overall, a good idea, timely, but alienating.
A really powerful read. This book attempts to refute the notion that sex is something that happens to women - that they are conquests, not participants. It's also about how women enjoy sex as much as men and shouldn't be shamed for it.