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pattydsf's review against another edition
3.0
“Oh, child! Somewhere inside you, your future has already unfurled like one of those coiled-up party streamers, once shiny, shaken loose, floating gracefully for a brief moment, now trampled underfoot after the party is over. The future you’re capable of imagining is already a thing of the past. Who did you think you would grow up to become? You could never have dreamt yourself up. Sit down. Let me tell you everything that’s happened. You can stop running now. You are alive in the woman who watches you as you vanish.”
I don’t know exactly what I was expecting from this short memoir. I really liked Shapiro’s Still Writing: The Perils and Pleasures of a Creative Life, but I knew this wasn’t going to be like that book. Still Writing is about craft and Hourglass is about her marriage. I think both books are excellent, but I was in the right mood for Still Writing and I should have put Hourglass aside until I was in a more thoughtful mood.
I am not sorry I read Shapiro’s tale of her marriage because she gave me something to think about in my marriage. Shapiro quoted Donald Hall about his marriage to Jane Kenyon. Hall and Kenyon are among my favorite poets and I was glad for this insight into their marriage:
”Third things are essential to marriages, objects or practices or habits or arts or institutions or games or human beings that provide a site of joint rapture or contentment. Each member of a couple is separate; the two come together in double attention. Lovemaking is not a third thing but two-in-one. John Keats can be a third thing, or the Boston Symphony Orchestra, or Dutch interiors, or Monopoly. For many couples, children are a third thing. (This is originally from this essay: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/articles/60484/the-third-thing)
I am so happy to have these words about third things. For many years, our children were my husband’s and my third thing. Now our third thing includes our grandchildren, but we have always had a “thing” about hospitality. I just never knew what to call it. Thank you Dani Shapiro and Donald Hall.
I look forward to another book by Shapiro. My sister is insisting I read Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love and I assume I will get to it soon. Even if I didn’t find Hourglass the perfect read, Shapiro is an excellent writer.
I don’t know exactly what I was expecting from this short memoir. I really liked Shapiro’s Still Writing: The Perils and Pleasures of a Creative Life, but I knew this wasn’t going to be like that book. Still Writing is about craft and Hourglass is about her marriage. I think both books are excellent, but I was in the right mood for Still Writing and I should have put Hourglass aside until I was in a more thoughtful mood.
I am not sorry I read Shapiro’s tale of her marriage because she gave me something to think about in my marriage. Shapiro quoted Donald Hall about his marriage to Jane Kenyon. Hall and Kenyon are among my favorite poets and I was glad for this insight into their marriage:
”Third things are essential to marriages, objects or practices or habits or arts or institutions or games or human beings that provide a site of joint rapture or contentment. Each member of a couple is separate; the two come together in double attention. Lovemaking is not a third thing but two-in-one. John Keats can be a third thing, or the Boston Symphony Orchestra, or Dutch interiors, or Monopoly. For many couples, children are a third thing. (This is originally from this essay: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/articles/60484/the-third-thing)
I am so happy to have these words about third things. For many years, our children were my husband’s and my third thing. Now our third thing includes our grandchildren, but we have always had a “thing” about hospitality. I just never knew what to call it. Thank you Dani Shapiro and Donald Hall.
I look forward to another book by Shapiro. My sister is insisting I read Inheritance: A Memoir of Genealogy, Paternity, and Love and I assume I will get to it soon. Even if I didn’t find Hourglass the perfect read, Shapiro is an excellent writer.
pammoore's review against another edition
5.0
I have a feeling I'm going to be thinking about this one for a while. Shapiro has this crazy amazing way of weaving together quotes, poems, memories, journal entries, and random scenes from her life and making them fit. The narrative is dreamlike in the way it flows. The memoir feels candid but not confessional. It was a quick read but I wouldn't call it particularly light. Looking forward to reading more of her work.
linneakarchibald's review against another edition
4.0
4 STARS
What a beautiful memoir. At only 160 pages, this book flew by. The book is less a linear story than it is a meditation on Dani Shapiro's 20+ years of marriage. The most beautiful sections dealt with the nature of how we change while in long-term relationships, morphing into a different person than we were when the relationship began but doing so alongside the person we love. Shapiro paints a picture of a life filled with joy and sadness, predictability and surprise, celebration and disappointment running alongside each other and molding her and her family into the people they are today. Somehow, we're both the same people we were a decade ago and also very different.
This book meditates on the paradox of aging and changing. The only thing holding this book back from five stars for me is that it was so short.
What a beautiful memoir. At only 160 pages, this book flew by. The book is less a linear story than it is a meditation on Dani Shapiro's 20+ years of marriage. The most beautiful sections dealt with the nature of how we change while in long-term relationships, morphing into a different person than we were when the relationship began but doing so alongside the person we love. Shapiro paints a picture of a life filled with joy and sadness, predictability and surprise, celebration and disappointment running alongside each other and molding her and her family into the people they are today. Somehow, we're both the same people we were a decade ago and also very different.
This book meditates on the paradox of aging and changing. The only thing holding this book back from five stars for me is that it was so short.
beatniksafari's review against another edition
4.0
Lots to ponder in this meditation on marriage - the writer's reflective style reminds me a little of Joan Didion.
emilyholladay's review against another edition
3.0
Dani Shapiro’s writing is very beautiful. This book did not keep my attention throughout, but did make me want to read more of her writing.
ddejong's review against another edition
4.0
Poignant, beautiful, meandering, reflective, stream of consciousness par excellence. Recommended (though I did not do this): read it in one sitting-- but slowly enough to savor.
christinafrancisgilbert's review against another edition
4.0
This memoir is a whirlwind of emotions and experiences to represent Dani Shapiro's life and relationships.
I love her style and found this to be a raw and honest insight into the author's life.
It makes sense that the sub title lists Time, Memory and Marriage as its themes though the title of Hourglass appeals to me most. I can understand how the narrowing of an hourglass is a perfect analogy for the constraints of middle age. Her early life is presented to us in vignettes and expanses of opportunity just like the top half of an hourglass. And I can only imagine she anticipated her readers to think of later life experiences as having a parallel sense of widened opportunity.
I found it interesting that Shapiro made frequent references back to her teenage journals and writings from her past. I also love how she intertwines various memories of places she has lived and her past lives or selves.
Shapiro's writing is masterful and poetic so that I immensely enjoyed reading this short memoir. I noticed how elements of her own life and people she has known influenced her recent novel Signal Fires, which I loved. In particular, her references to Altzheimer's. I will be seeking out another of her novels in coming months: Black and White.
I love her style and found this to be a raw and honest insight into the author's life.
It makes sense that the sub title lists Time, Memory and Marriage as its themes though the title of Hourglass appeals to me most. I can understand how the narrowing of an hourglass is a perfect analogy for the constraints of middle age. Her early life is presented to us in vignettes and expanses of opportunity just like the top half of an hourglass. And I can only imagine she anticipated her readers to think of later life experiences as having a parallel sense of widened opportunity.
I found it interesting that Shapiro made frequent references back to her teenage journals and writings from her past. I also love how she intertwines various memories of places she has lived and her past lives or selves.
Shapiro's writing is masterful and poetic so that I immensely enjoyed reading this short memoir. I noticed how elements of her own life and people she has known influenced her recent novel Signal Fires, which I loved. In particular, her references to Altzheimer's. I will be seeking out another of her novels in coming months: Black and White.
kimmeyer's review against another edition
4.0
This is written as a collection of moments and thoughts, stream of consciousness style. Shapiro's excellent writing makes the book.
cheesehead_reader's review against another edition
4.0
Read (or actually listened to) this book based on the recommendation of a book club selection. I don't think I would have found it otherwise. I loved her style of writing. Listening to the audio version, it just felt as if she were speaking to me personally about her life. I could imagine the pictures of their life flitting by on their tv screen.
The most profound part of this book was talking about couple's "third thing". As a woman, approaching 50, married for over 25 years, my husband and I lost (or maybe never had) our third thing. Moments like this were eye opening and yet made me want to cry.
This book definitely touched me. Yet I don't think it's for everyone... or I should say I don't think it will have an impact on everyone. I'd love to have my daughters read it but I'm not sure they'd get it. As for me, I will probably listen to it again.
The most profound part of this book was talking about couple's "third thing". As a woman, approaching 50, married for over 25 years, my husband and I lost (or maybe never had) our third thing. Moments like this were eye opening and yet made me want to cry.
This book definitely touched me. Yet I don't think it's for everyone... or I should say I don't think it will have an impact on everyone. I'd love to have my daughters read it but I'm not sure they'd get it. As for me, I will probably listen to it again.