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4.32 AVERAGE
4.32 AVERAGE
It’s certainly a book? I was overwhelmingly offended by it at certain times where I could tell that the author so badly wanted to torture Jude just for the sake of creating a dramatic narrative, and I found it to be rather transparent and gross. I also found characterization to be somewhat shallow for most of the characters, no one ever being anything but pure saintly good or horribly wretched. The only person who I found to be interesting was JB, who peeled off to only be a secondary character rather quickly. There is also a single truck driver who is mentioned for maybe 3 sentences. Other than that, it’s mainly an adult version of a fan fiction, where everyone is unbelievably successful and love comes so easy (despite the author creating unrealistic roadblocks just for tension). It’s frustratingly long and could probably lose 200 pages of torture pornography. Honestly you could stop reading after part one, it’s what you get.
Edit: I'm returning to this book one year later after a reread.
I think the book is actually far worse than I was giving credit. I'm now reading this from Boston, where the book largely takes place. It wasn't until I got here that I realized that this book suffers from "floating plot syndrome". Could Hanya please take one moment to characterize the setting whatsoever? Any visual details of the scene, what anyone looks like, any locations, or any events outside of the main cast? This lack of detail makes the book feel like a fever dream and extremely claustrophobic and tiresome to read.
Moving on to what is on the page. Hanya is funny actually. Having read some of her interviews, I think I am going to elect to read the book through the perspective that she wanted to make a snuff book. If I read all of the graphic torture of Jude through the lens that she just really wanted to make a gay character and torture him until he couldn't take it anymore, then I guess it would at least be subversive?
However, I unfortunately believe she wrote this in earnest, leading me to decide that this level of graphic torture is actually rather lame and pathetic. No matter how much she throws at Jude, it never moved me. I don't care how many pages of rape and burning and cutting or how many times she chooses to throw Jude down the stairs and hit him with a car-- I can see trite, annoying, lame, manipulative writing when I see it. Perhaps if any characters had any PERSONALITY I might feel something. Unfortunately everyone is an amorphous blob with zero faults. They exist to be good people attacked from exterior circumstance. All faults of the characters whether addiction, anger, or apathy are framed as coping mechanisms leaving every character as a silly voodoo doll for punching. You can give Jude a LITTLE agency, just as a treat. Idk why I had to read him be such a sniveling little bitch and say "I'm so sorry" over and over. Just let Jude punch someone! Come on, we know that'd be at least a little cathartic.
I actually felt bad, because after reading HUNDREDS of pages of characters being beat to shit from circumstance and feeling literally no sadness, grief, disgust, or really ANY emotion, I thought that maybe I was BROKEN and un-empathetic for my lack of repulsion. Then I realized I'm just not easily manipulated by torture porn.
I think throwing the kitchen sink of trauma at a character for 800 pages is far less dramatically interesting than the author thinks it is. Yes, lets give Jude a perfect (straight?) movie star husband and then obliterate him in a car wreck so he can finally commit suicide in a NOBLE way :) If Hanya wrote the book to represent the trauma that many of her readers go through, maybe we don't let him suffer his entire life and have the end lesson be 'everything is fucked you should just kill yourself now'. If that was her actual intention then I guess that's kinda metal, but still fucked ethically ahahha.
Boring, lame book that I feel dumb for trying a second time.
This is a "profound" book for people too dumb to realize there is no substance under it all.
Edit: I'm returning to this book one year later after a reread.
I think the book is actually far worse than I was giving credit. I'm now reading this from Boston, where the book largely takes place. It wasn't until I got here that I realized that this book suffers from "floating plot syndrome". Could Hanya please take one moment to characterize the setting whatsoever? Any visual details of the scene, what anyone looks like, any locations, or any events outside of the main cast? This lack of detail makes the book feel like a fever dream and extremely claustrophobic and tiresome to read.
Moving on to what is on the page. Hanya is funny actually. Having read some of her interviews, I think I am going to elect to read the book through the perspective that she wanted to make a snuff book. If I read all of the graphic torture of Jude through the lens that she just really wanted to make a gay character and torture him until he couldn't take it anymore, then I guess it would at least be subversive?
However, I unfortunately believe she wrote this in earnest, leading me to decide that this level of graphic torture is actually rather lame and pathetic. No matter how much she throws at Jude, it never moved me. I don't care how many pages of rape and burning and cutting or how many times she chooses to throw Jude down the stairs and hit him with a car-- I can see trite, annoying, lame, manipulative writing when I see it. Perhaps if any characters had any PERSONALITY I might feel something. Unfortunately everyone is an amorphous blob with zero faults. They exist to be good people attacked from exterior circumstance. All faults of the characters whether addiction, anger, or apathy are framed as coping mechanisms leaving every character as a silly voodoo doll for punching. You can give Jude a LITTLE agency, just as a treat. Idk why I had to read him be such a sniveling little bitch and say "I'm so sorry" over and over. Just let Jude punch someone! Come on, we know that'd be at least a little cathartic.
I actually felt bad, because after reading HUNDREDS of pages of characters being beat to shit from circumstance and feeling literally no sadness, grief, disgust, or really ANY emotion, I thought that maybe I was BROKEN and un-empathetic for my lack of repulsion. Then I realized I'm just not easily manipulated by torture porn.
I think throwing the kitchen sink of trauma at a character for 800 pages is far less dramatically interesting than the author thinks it is. Yes, lets give Jude a perfect (straight?) movie star husband and then obliterate him in a car wreck so he can finally commit suicide in a NOBLE way :) If Hanya wrote the book to represent the trauma that many of her readers go through, maybe we don't let him suffer his entire life and have the end lesson be 'everything is fucked you should just kill yourself now'. If that was her actual intention then I guess that's kinda metal, but still fucked ethically ahahha.
Boring, lame book that I feel dumb for trying a second time.
This is a "profound" book for people too dumb to realize there is no substance under it all.
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
dark
sad
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Midway through the book, before Jude revealed what Dr Taylor did, I felt like stopping the book. Jude was happy, everyone was happy, although there were allusions of something bad that was gonna happen.
Also, Andy ? Is he really a doctor? How could he ignore everything?
I really wish I stopped it. I hoped that he had a better life.
Also, Andy ? Is he really a doctor? How could he ignore everything?
I really wish I stopped it. I hoped that he had a better life.
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Phew, this was a tough one to get through both because I think it certainly could have been shorted in pages but also because the pages are just full of sadness on top of sadness on top of sadness.
Definitely read the trigger warnings. There are many and they are quite graphic.
Really not sure how to rate this book.
I did a mix of listening and reading which was the way I needed to tackle such a long book.
Definitely read the trigger warnings. There are many and they are quite graphic.
Really not sure how to rate this book.
I did a mix of listening and reading which was the way I needed to tackle such a long book.
(excuse the rambling and word-vomit)
I teared up at the start, and by the end i had none left. i knew this book was bleak, i knew this book was filled with the most horrible things happening to a single person, yet it hit me each time it happened on these pages. What made me keep reading, I'm not quite sure - Happiness is rare, fleeting and disappears instantly, hope is almost not an option at all. Was it the prose, the way every word was evocative? or was it the raw emotion it made me feel, making me come back for more every single time I put it down, like I couldn't get enough?
Honestly, I can't say for sure, but I can say this: the most heartbreaking part of the book, the one that made my head spin, was not any of the truly, truly horrific things that happened to jude; it was the way jude expected the same from those who truly did care. Jude is the embodiment of the idea that "we accept the love we think we deserve" in its most desolate form.
This is one of the books I'm compelled to write a long review of, which I will be doing once I can gather my thoughts on it.
I teared up at the start, and by the end i had none left. i knew this book was bleak, i knew this book was filled with the most horrible things happening to a single person, yet it hit me each time it happened on these pages. What made me keep reading, I'm not quite sure - Happiness is rare, fleeting and disappears instantly, hope is almost not an option at all. Was it the prose, the way every word was evocative? or was it the raw emotion it made me feel, making me come back for more every single time I put it down, like I couldn't get enough?
Honestly, I can't say for sure, but I can say this: the most heartbreaking part of the book, the one that made my head spin, was not any of the truly, truly horrific things that happened to jude; it was the way jude expected the same from those who truly did care. Jude is the embodiment of the idea that "we accept the love we think we deserve" in its most desolate form.
This is one of the books I'm compelled to write a long review of, which I will be doing once I can gather my thoughts on it.
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes