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pagesfromhome's review
emotional
funny
inspiring
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Previous Rating: 5 Stars
Like my last Abbi Waxman reread, I used to absolutely adore these books. 5 stars all the way with no faults. Since rereading, I've noticed this habit she has of dropping in stereotypes (or making culturally appropriative costumes) or mentioning race or sexuality when it just feels weird and forced (pgs. 19, 59, and 157 particularly spring to mind). I noticed this in The Bookish Life of Nina Hill and now in this one. The reference to a gay couple on p. 59 struck out in particular - the main character mentions, "...that pique of interest and support I always felt when I met lesbians or gay men, or interracial couples, or anyone in fact who lived a life that seemed more interesting and less mainstream than mine." Like, it's cool to support people who are different than you, but it's weird as heck when you fetishize or romanticize them. They're just two women in a relationship, not a field study for an anthropologist.
There also seems to be a lot of forgiveness for Rachel and Lili's mom's lack of growth and harmful behaviors. The main character says multiple times how her mom just is who she is, implying nothing can be done about it. Still, her mom is saying incredibly hurtful and harmful things to her grandchildren, so yes, she can change, but she certainly won't if she's getting away with it. I'm all for respecting who people are, but when they are harmful, they need to hear about what they're inflicting on others.
That said, these references do knock down my rating a bit, but for the most part, this book still stands. It's a beautiful exploration of the waves of grief phenomenon and (I imagine) how it would be to be a suddenly widowed mother of two. The cast of characters in the gardening club is fantastic, and I love the blossoming romance at the forefront of the story. I would definitely reread it again, but I hope Waxman's newest book will be less cavalier with outdated race and sexuality references.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Grief, and Car accident
Moderate: Racism, Death of parent, Cultural appropriation, and Sexism
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