Take a photo of a barcode or cover
3.9 AVERAGE
3.9 AVERAGE
challenging
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
A fantastic and gut-checking read, this book challenges us all to do better at bridging (mostly political) divides in our personal lives and in our country. I appreciated the expert blend of personal story, statistics, research, and practical advice. Guzmán writes well and her advice couldn't be more timely. This pairs well with Klein's [b:Why We're Polarized|52098718|Why We're Polarized|Ezra Klein|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1575592025l/52098718._SX50_SY75_.jpg|73552811] but neither is a substitute for the other since this book is less academic and yet arguably more applicable. Liberals, conservatives, independents, etc. will all benefit from reading this book and applying its advice.
In short, this is a great book for where to begin with learning how to have conversations with people who think differently than we do.
I recommend we all read it. A couple times, haha!
Seriously though, our culture is really good at SOS (read the book! Sorting, ordering, and siloing). We need to rediscover the humanity within those we differ with on issues that really matter to us.
I recommend we all read it. A couple times, haha!
Seriously though, our culture is really good at SOS (read the book! Sorting, ordering, and siloing). We need to rediscover the humanity within those we differ with on issues that really matter to us.
There was a lot of value here but I felt like it was too light at times.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
"I never thought of it that way." What a great phrase to utter when having a charged conversation with someone who believes differently than you!
In this book, Monica Guzmán shares her strategies on how to have difficult conversations that are productive, build bridges and lead not necessarily to change, but to understanding each other. Her main premise is to be curious, and lead from that curiosity, not from a need to be right.
Too often, when we're talking to someone who believes differently than we do, we shut down the conversation by using charged language, asking leading or gotcha questions, coming in with preconceived judgements about that person's beliefs, and not listening. Instead, Guzmán encourages us to be curious about one another.
"I can tell you feel really strongly about that. What led you to that belief?"
"What is the most important challenge that you think our world is facing?"
"Tell me your story - I can tell you have a personal connection to this issue."
"I'm curious - can you tell me a little bit more about that?"
What I loved about this book is Guzmán's openness about her own story. She shares her journey towards being curious rather than confrontational, and from being a reporter who mapped out each and every question in an interview to someone who allows the conversation to lead the interview after one curious question. She also shares her difficult conversations with her parents, who are on the other side of the political spectrum from her. If even an "expert" occasionally gets in a shouting match with her parents, we all can feel better about ourselves! But we also can follow Guzmán's example, and find ways to bridge the gaps in our understanding of each other. She says that while her views on issues and who should be president haven't changed, she understands why her parents vote the way they do. It gives me hope that I, too, could have difficult conversations that lead to understanding, rather than an entrenchment on both sides about what we believe.
In this book, Monica Guzmán shares her strategies on how to have difficult conversations that are productive, build bridges and lead not necessarily to change, but to understanding each other. Her main premise is to be curious, and lead from that curiosity, not from a need to be right.
Too often, when we're talking to someone who believes differently than we do, we shut down the conversation by using charged language, asking leading or gotcha questions, coming in with preconceived judgements about that person's beliefs, and not listening. Instead, Guzmán encourages us to be curious about one another.
"I can tell you feel really strongly about that. What led you to that belief?"
"What is the most important challenge that you think our world is facing?"
"Tell me your story - I can tell you have a personal connection to this issue."
"I'm curious - can you tell me a little bit more about that?"
What I loved about this book is Guzmán's openness about her own story. She shares her journey towards being curious rather than confrontational, and from being a reporter who mapped out each and every question in an interview to someone who allows the conversation to lead the interview after one curious question. She also shares her difficult conversations with her parents, who are on the other side of the political spectrum from her. If even an "expert" occasionally gets in a shouting match with her parents, we all can feel better about ourselves! But we also can follow Guzmán's example, and find ways to bridge the gaps in our understanding of each other. She says that while her views on issues and who should be president haven't changed, she understands why her parents vote the way they do. It gives me hope that I, too, could have difficult conversations that lead to understanding, rather than an entrenchment on both sides about what we believe.
challenging
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Read this for work book club. Has some very interesting ideas. But the ideas only feel good if they’re reciprocated. I do like the idea of staying curious and living life as a question. If everyone could take these calm, measured approaches to understanding each other, we’d be a stronger country. But I think it’s asking a lot.
challenging
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
In these highly polarized times, my wife and I have often discussed whether there is any hope that our fractured nation can ever be brought back together again. "I Never Thought of It That Way" gives us hope. In it, Guzman provides some practical steps to start having conversations again, conversations that could lead to understanding, and understanding that might be able to get the jammed gears of cooperation moving again. As she points out, even people who are on polar opposites of the spectrum have more in common with each other than they typically believe. This book reminds us of that. I wish more people would read it and heed its advice.
I would like to start with what I thought was missing from this book: (1) explicit discussion that there are people out there who hold beliefs that question the humanity and basic rights of other humans, and (2) discussion of experiences where her approach to civil discourse has failed.
Now that I have that out of the way, I think that the author has done a great job laying out multiple approaches to civil discourse that encourages people to be curious, allow for differences in ideology, and step outside their comfort zones to speak with people who hold different beliefs and values in an attempt to learn or better understand the why behind their beliefs. This book is a strong first step or first read for people who have no idea where to start in civil discourse. As an educator, I would highly recommend this book for common reads at the senior year of high school and first-second year of college level. This book could also be beneficial to “grown ups” who have never had conversations like this but want to.
I understand the criticisms that suggest that the author is essentially writing in a rainbows and butterflies world - there were moments that I had to turn my cynicism down after thinking “oh, because it’s that easy, huh?”
Overall, I do think more people should read this book. I also think more people should read this book with an open mind.
Now that I have that out of the way, I think that the author has done a great job laying out multiple approaches to civil discourse that encourages people to be curious, allow for differences in ideology, and step outside their comfort zones to speak with people who hold different beliefs and values in an attempt to learn or better understand the why behind their beliefs. This book is a strong first step or first read for people who have no idea where to start in civil discourse. As an educator, I would highly recommend this book for common reads at the senior year of high school and first-second year of college level. This book could also be beneficial to “grown ups” who have never had conversations like this but want to.
I understand the criticisms that suggest that the author is essentially writing in a rainbows and butterflies world - there were moments that I had to turn my cynicism down after thinking “oh, because it’s that easy, huh?”
Overall, I do think more people should read this book. I also think more people should read this book with an open mind.