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elenajohansen's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
As with one of my previous reviews about a book on menopause, I'd like to point out up front that the structure and content of the book assumes the reader is a cis woman and refers to the reader's body throughout under that assumption, which might be alienating to any reader whose physiology doesn't match, be they cis men or any trans or intersex person. "Woman" in this book exclusively refers to cis women; only in one section does it allude to the distinction between cis and trans women by using the term "natal women" in reference to the specifics of one study. Which isn't to say that the core subject matter isn't potentially useful for or applicable to trans women or trans people in general, or that the book is setting out to be trans-exclusionary; only that what little research is being done on this topic is focused on cis women as the group who needs it and would benefit most greatly from it. (Which, given that most clinical medical science is done on cis men as the default, is still a good thing in my mind, that any research on sexuality is being done with cis women as the focus.)
Since the take-home message of this book is "Mindfulness practice could probably improve your sex life, and also the rest of your life while you're at it," in my mind that's equally useful advice for everyone, but the mindfulness exercises in this book range from generic at the start (anyone who can eat solid food can do the raisin meditation) to guided exploration of the body in both nonsexual and sexual contexts, which are specific to cis women.
If that message seems obvious, why does it need a whole book written about the science that "proves" it, well, I'm still a crunchy science nerd at heart and was interested to see the design structure of the studies done to research the topic and the results of those studies. That sort of narrative would likely seem dry and boring to someone more interested in the self-help, instructional aspects of the book; likewise, the mindfulness exercises themselves might not interest someone who was reading this for the crunchy science, though the book is definitely marketing itself to cis women experiencing some level of sexual distress or dysfunction who are hoping for a solution, to whom the book offers mindfulness.
Without getting too personal on the subject, I was interested in this book on both fronts; as with my previous reading about menopause, I'm trying to be proactive about engaging with the changes in my body as it ages, and I have noticed a pattern of changes in my sex life that I'm not pleased with. I don't have access to the sort of highly regimented clinical mindfulness study that the book refers to, but the barrier to entry for self-guided mindfulness practice is basically nonexistent--I already have one app on my phone I could be utilizing but mostly don't, and if it turns out I don't vibe with their library of guided exercises I know there's a wealth of other options. And even those aren't necessary, they're just helpful tools.
I know that I, personally, will face challenges attempting mindfulness practice despite all its potential benefits--mindfulness is widely considered to be especially beneficial for people with ADHD, but also difficult for them, as the differences in the ADHD brain from a neurotypical one aren't conducive to learning to achieve a state of mindfulness. But another, narrower take-home message from this book was inspiring to me: that self-belief about your own state of sexuality and sexual satisfaction is more impactful to actual sexual satisfaction that any combination of other studied factors (relationship status, age and hormonal changes, etc.) The book repeatedly assures the reader mindfulness is learning to treat negative thoughts as "mental events" to be noticed, acknowledged, and then moved on from, which in a broader, non-sexually-specific context, means that even my belief that "mindfulness will be difficult for me because I have ADHD" isn't an obstacle that can't be overcome. Forming a habit of mindfulness practice might also be difficult for me, but again, that can be overcome to at least some degree with motivation, and all those scientific studies did show that women engaged with mindfulness showed strong desire and follow-through in making time for daily practice (even accounting for the self-selection of feeling the need to participate in the study in the first place.) The benefits of mindfulness appear to be their own reward, in terms of successful habit-forming, so I'm hopeful.
Since the take-home message of this book is "Mindfulness practice could probably improve your sex life, and also the rest of your life while you're at it," in my mind that's equally useful advice for everyone, but the mindfulness exercises in this book range from generic at the start (anyone who can eat solid food can do the raisin meditation) to guided exploration of the body in both nonsexual and sexual contexts, which are specific to cis women.
If that message seems obvious, why does it need a whole book written about the science that "proves" it, well, I'm still a crunchy science nerd at heart and was interested to see the design structure of the studies done to research the topic and the results of those studies. That sort of narrative would likely seem dry and boring to someone more interested in the self-help, instructional aspects of the book; likewise, the mindfulness exercises themselves might not interest someone who was reading this for the crunchy science, though the book is definitely marketing itself to cis women experiencing some level of sexual distress or dysfunction who are hoping for a solution, to whom the book offers mindfulness.
Without getting too personal on the subject, I was interested in this book on both fronts; as with my previous reading about menopause, I'm trying to be proactive about engaging with the changes in my body as it ages, and I have noticed a pattern of changes in my sex life that I'm not pleased with. I don't have access to the sort of highly regimented clinical mindfulness study that the book refers to, but the barrier to entry for self-guided mindfulness practice is basically nonexistent--I already have one app on my phone I could be utilizing but mostly don't, and if it turns out I don't vibe with their library of guided exercises I know there's a wealth of other options. And even those aren't necessary, they're just helpful tools.
I know that I, personally, will face challenges attempting mindfulness practice despite all its potential benefits--mindfulness is widely considered to be especially beneficial for people with ADHD, but also difficult for them, as the differences in the ADHD brain from a neurotypical one aren't conducive to learning to achieve a state of mindfulness. But another, narrower take-home message from this book was inspiring to me: that self-belief about your own state of sexuality and sexual satisfaction is more impactful to actual sexual satisfaction that any combination of other studied factors (relationship status, age and hormonal changes, etc.) The book repeatedly assures the reader mindfulness is learning to treat negative thoughts as "mental events" to be noticed, acknowledged, and then moved on from, which in a broader, non-sexually-specific context, means that even my belief that "mindfulness will be difficult for me because I have ADHD" isn't an obstacle that can't be overcome. Forming a habit of mindfulness practice might also be difficult for me, but again, that can be overcome to at least some degree with motivation, and all those scientific studies did show that women engaged with mindfulness showed strong desire and follow-through in making time for daily practice (even accounting for the self-selection of feeling the need to participate in the study in the first place.) The benefits of mindfulness appear to be their own reward, in terms of successful habit-forming, so I'm hopeful.
danielleroegner's review against another edition
informative
slow-paced
2.25
Audible version voice 0/5 stars, sounded like a bad AI voice. For content, I found this book to be rather uninspiring compared to ‘Come As You Are’. This book was boring and disappointing.