Reviews with content warning for Child abuse - Don't Cry for Me: A Novel

“If you get nothing else from this letter, understand that I never knew how to love. I dreamed of it, but I never experienced it. What I knew was pain. So that’s what I gave you. I’d never seen a black life free from it, so my job as a father, I assumed, was to prepare your back for the load. I hope that, after you read this, you’ll return my pain to me.”

Content Warnings

larebe's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

gcrespo97's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

megmccreery's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

I did cry at the Author's Note at the beginning which made me think this was going to be a teary one, but it ended up not being that. Jacob is a Black man, currently on his death bed writing letters to his son, Isaac to make amends with the trauma that he gave his son as a child into adulthood. From a young age, Jacob can tell that Isaac is different, which eventually leads to the learning that Isaac is gay. As his final act, Jacob writes the letters to tell Isaac why he resented his son so much growing up, citing the history of the Black community and masculinity as reasons to why he emotionally, verbally, and at one time, physically abused his son. It was crazy to read the mindset of a man back then, and as another layer, adding in the struggles of Black men in the Southern US in the 60s. They were truly focused on survival and fitting into societal norms, which led to a huge lack of love in families. There was also such a lack of knowledge and other view points that communities simply accepted things because that's just the way it was. It's not easy to understand how a man literally fights against loving his child, but there is definitely reasoning behind it, even though it's hard to wrap my head around.

Overall, this did give insight about this type of relationship and overall generational trauma. I do think there was something missing, though. I wish that there was Isaac's POV, or something besides just Jacob's voice because I did get tired of him basically telling Isaac he hated him for his whole life and then giving reasons why.

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treberry's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

“It’s funny what you remember in old age. Memories reveal who you used to be, what you once thought important, what regrets you cannot shake.”

⠀

DCFM is an emotional, reflective story told through a series of letters wrote from a dying man to his estranged son. Dying alone, Jacob uses all of his strength to express his story, his history, his regrets, his shame to give his son insight into the reasons behind his actions.

⠀

This book both captured my heart and broke my heart at the same time! There was so much relatable, in-your-face honesty.

⠀

The emphasis on regret, loss, pride and hurt gnawed at my soul. But as somber as it was, it was everything I needed. The biggest takeaway I found was making amends, living with regret, how our words and actions, spoken and unspoken, effects our relationships with others.

⠀

My heart ached for Isaac and the turmoil he must’ve endured. My heart bled for Jacob and his foolish pride - for putting conditions on his love. He had so many shoulda, woulda, couldas, but was much too prideful to act on his true feelings because it wasn’t the “manly” thing to do.

⠀

I was triggered early on and felt I just wouldn’t be able to continue reading, but I picked this book right back up and didn’t put it down again until I was done. I was stuck reading for hours & hours!

⠀

It would’ve been interesting to see

how the letters were received, but that’s what happens when apologies come a day late and a dollar short … you never know.

⠀

Reading this book made me see how necessary it is to give our children freedom to make their own choices. It allowed me to give grace to my parents for the things I wished they’d done differently when raising me. They did what they knew, the best they could.

⠀

I doubt you can finish this book without having your principles shaken and stirred, and reflecting on relationships, choices, hopes, and expectations. It shows how the bonds we cultivate are truly matters in life.

⠀

The writing was excellent, flowed as smooth as honey, and consumed my full attention. I’d place this book smack dab in the middle of The Kite Runner and Razorblade Tears. I can already predict this to be one of my top 3 reads this year! 👏🏾

Content Warnings

jazhandz's review against another edition

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challenging emotional slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.25

Content Warnings

cams_book_shelf's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Content Warnings

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