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daumari's review
5.0
I really want to get a copy of this book to the various people who've told me adoption's the best solution for unintended pregnancies. Heartbreaking stories of girls who, with little or no options, had to relinquish their children and live with pain of separation for years.
Really makes me glad I live post Roe v. Wade. Even if it's one of the most difficult decisions to make, at least women today can make their own choice. Back then, women were hidden, shamed into silence.
Really makes me glad I live post Roe v. Wade. Even if it's one of the most difficult decisions to make, at least women today can make their own choice. Back then, women were hidden, shamed into silence.
ryantlabee's review
4.0
Wow. This is a heartwrenching book, but a must-read for anyone whose life has been touched by adoption.
I recently found out about a family story that was mainly hidden for years, which made me seek any book I could about Surrendered children and the mothers who put them up for adoption by the book's end. I have a new sense of understanding and empathy for a person in our family that for so long, was demonized.
Professor Ann Fessler book ends this book with her own personal history of being adopted and her search for her birth mother. The middle portion of the book is comprised of many stories from many women who "gave up" their children during the late 40s and late 80s. The story we are told about adoption has always been a lie. Most women who surrendered their children during these years were mostly threatened, shamed, or down right lied to, and their children were taken from them. It's truly an unbelievable work by Fessler, and I'm so glad I picked it up.
I recently found out about a family story that was mainly hidden for years, which made me seek any book I could about Surrendered children and the mothers who put them up for adoption by the book's end. I have a new sense of understanding and empathy for a person in our family that for so long, was demonized.
Professor Ann Fessler book ends this book with her own personal history of being adopted and her search for her birth mother. The middle portion of the book is comprised of many stories from many women who "gave up" their children during the late 40s and late 80s. The story we are told about adoption has always been a lie. Most women who surrendered their children during these years were mostly threatened, shamed, or down right lied to, and their children were taken from them. It's truly an unbelievable work by Fessler, and I'm so glad I picked it up.
mbenzz's review
5.0
What a fantastic book. I saw a short write up for it in a popular women's magazine, and though I never before had any interest in this subject, I was intrigued. I'm so glad I read it. I can't believe the things these poor scared young women had to go through. Most being pretty much abandoned by their families, and sent to 'homes for unwed mothers'...all because society of the '50s and '60s said it was unacceptable to be a pregnant, unmarried woman.
And what's worse, these women were repeatedly lied to. None were told of their right to abort the adoption process, their files were filled with lies about how they WANTED to give up their child when in fact most girls BEGGED to be able to keep their babies. And all the girls were assured their children would be placed in a loving, two-parent, financially secure dream family, when many times, this wasn't the case.
And when it came to the actual births, these girls were totally in the dark. For many, they'd gotten pregnant after only their first or second time having sex...and because it was such a taboo subject back then, these girls knew NOTHING about where babies came from, the changes their bodies would go through, or how to give birth. When these girls finally did go into labor, they were dropped off at the hospital, had to check-in by themselves, were put in a room completely alone, and had to stay there till a doctor FINALLY came to deliver the child.
I just can't believe the way these girls were treated. And many of them are still affected by what they went through all those years ago. Though they were told they'd forget and move on with their lives, not ONE of them EVER forgot. I could go on and on about the piss-poor way these women were treated, but I won't. All I can say is this is a great book that I absolutely think all birth mothers, as well as adoptees, should read. And even if you're neither of those, it's still a very informative look at what a whole generation of American girls had to go through all because they'd gotten pregnant before marriage. Unbelievable.
And what's worse, these women were repeatedly lied to. None were told of their right to abort the adoption process, their files were filled with lies about how they WANTED to give up their child when in fact most girls BEGGED to be able to keep their babies. And all the girls were assured their children would be placed in a loving, two-parent, financially secure dream family, when many times, this wasn't the case.
And when it came to the actual births, these girls were totally in the dark. For many, they'd gotten pregnant after only their first or second time having sex...and because it was such a taboo subject back then, these girls knew NOTHING about where babies came from, the changes their bodies would go through, or how to give birth. When these girls finally did go into labor, they were dropped off at the hospital, had to check-in by themselves, were put in a room completely alone, and had to stay there till a doctor FINALLY came to deliver the child.
I just can't believe the way these girls were treated. And many of them are still affected by what they went through all those years ago. Though they were told they'd forget and move on with their lives, not ONE of them EVER forgot. I could go on and on about the piss-poor way these women were treated, but I won't. All I can say is this is a great book that I absolutely think all birth mothers, as well as adoptees, should read. And even if you're neither of those, it's still a very informative look at what a whole generation of American girls had to go through all because they'd gotten pregnant before marriage. Unbelievable.
erinrocha1981's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
3.0
maddiet425's review
dark
emotional
informative
sad
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical trauma, Abandonment, Child abuse, Gaslighting, Confinement, Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Religious bigotry, Pregnancy, Misogyny, and Grief
Moderate: Sexual assault and Rape
dmarie84's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy and Medical trauma
Moderate: Abandonment
Minor: Suicidal thoughts
ehtomb's review
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
3.75
I had such mixed feelings and reactions to this book. It was obviously a very important book and these stories needed to be told and recorded. This was a gross time where women were taken advantage of by a system and it revealed a lot about the traumas that people have around adoption. The side of the birth mothers is not often something we hear, and it’s one that more people should seek to underStand. My issue was that it felt like I was reading the same story over and over again and I couldn’t wait for the book to end. Yet I think that’s a significant part of why this book exists because so many women and birth mothers went through the same thing, the same traumas, and similar reuniting stories. I’m glad I read it, I’m also glad I’m done with it. Touching, well researched.
bluelightbeam's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
I’m thankful to live in a time when stories like the ones in this book can be told. I wonder what sort of books will be written about the hidden tragedies of the early 21st century.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Gaslighting, Grief, Abandonment, Medical content, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pregnancy, Sexism, and War