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4.12 AVERAGE
4.12 AVERAGE
I read this book in one day and cried like someone personally ripped my heart out. It’s one of those stories that grabs you by the throat and does not let go. The writing is so raw and honest that it feels like you’re living every emotion right alongside the main character, the pain, the anger, the numbness, all of it.
This book doesn’t hold back, and that’s what makes it hit so hard. It shows how messy and complicated healing can be, and how sometimes it feels impossible to let people in, even when you desperately need them. There were moments I wanted to scream at the pages, moments I had to close the book just to breathe, and moments that completely shattered me.
If you’re gonna read it maybe clear your schedule and grab a box of tissues, because it’s gonna hurt. A lot.
This book doesn’t hold back, and that’s what makes it hit so hard. It shows how messy and complicated healing can be, and how sometimes it feels impossible to let people in, even when you desperately need them. There were moments I wanted to scream at the pages, moments I had to close the book just to breathe, and moments that completely shattered me.
If you’re gonna read it maybe clear your schedule and grab a box of tissues, because it’s gonna hurt. A lot.
This book.. oh god I don't know how to describe it. It was just so sad and real that made me cry a lot.
once i started reading the book, i never stopped. i sobbed for what felt like 5 minutes.
a presentation of how rape victims struggle with the trauma and how they face every single day bearing all that weight.
i agree. she was a very toxic character. she had this tendencies where she'd really push people out of her life and do things absentmindedly; she didn't even want to do. i hated her for that. but that's because of her past experience—a traumatic one. nonetheless, she's so brave for finally deciding to explain her trauma to her family and josh :((
a presentation of how rape victims struggle with the trauma and how they face every single day bearing all that weight.
i agree. she was a very toxic character. she had this tendencies where she'd really push people out of her life and do things absentmindedly; she didn't even want to do. i hated her for that. but that's because of her past experience—a traumatic one. nonetheless, she's so brave for finally deciding to explain her trauma to her family and josh :((
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Moderate: Rape, Alcohol
going to need 2 to 3 business days after this one
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Honestly, explaining my feelings on this book is going to be difficult. I can already tell that if I break everything down it is going to sound more negative than how I feel, but let's try anyway. First and foremost this was a very compelling read. I could not put it down, and in the rare moments that I did I was constantly thinking about picking this back up again. It just would not let me go. I also feel it is kind of rare in YA stories that surround rape to have the rapist be someone so close to the main character, and the discussions around that were also really interesting and very well done. The ending to this book felt so incredibly powerful, and I legit cried so much throughout it.
All that being said though I did feel like this book was lacking depth in parts. For some reason it just felt like we were going through the motions, and not much else. I get Eden closed herself off to her own feelings, but the way we delve into absolutely nothing made it so that I also didn't really feel connected to anything. It's just there.
Although, I do have to say that I liked how Amber Smith wasn't affraid to make Eden unlikeable. Like she went through something HUGE and then just internalised it. That's going to fester at you. She makes so many 'wrong' choices, and at times is quite rude, but it felt very real. The perfect victim doesn't exist, and I love how this book wasn't affraid to show the 'ugly' side effects. So I understand her friends getting fed up with her at a certain point. However, they just managed to be the absolute worst. Same with her family members. They all just kind of treat her terribly, and when she finally explodes/fights back they also just go straight to being the worst misogynists you've ever encountered. Overall, the misogyny in this book was fucking RAMPANT and I hate how it wasn't adressed at all. Instead over time Eden just went 'well, maybe they're right'. NO. Especialy considering this was written for teens that kind of pissed me off.
On top of that I also just disliked how every single romantic or sexual relationship Eden has in this book is with someone 18+ (except one) while throughout this book she's 13-17. Even though it is understandble why Eden would go that self destructing route, again this is never actually discussed or talked about. In fact as she gets older, her romantic interests get more age appropiate, but she actively isn't interested in them they're just interested in her. Then at the end we get back to a guy from the start who is now 20 and very much in college, and Eden is barely 17 and very much still in high school. Even though they don't get together it is implied he's her endgame, and reading the synopsis of book 2 very clearly shows that is the direction we're going. It just gives me a massive ick, that this is so full of inappropiate age gaps and never really sees it as such again especially as this is directed towards teens.
All that being said though I did feel like this book was lacking depth in parts. For some reason it just felt like we were going through the motions, and not much else. I get Eden closed herself off to her own feelings, but the way we delve into absolutely nothing made it so that I also didn't really feel connected to anything. It's just there.
Although, I do have to say that I liked how Amber Smith wasn't affraid to make Eden unlikeable. Like she went through something HUGE and then just internalised it. That's going to fester at you. She makes so many 'wrong' choices, and at times is quite rude, but it felt very real. The perfect victim doesn't exist, and I love how this book wasn't affraid to show the 'ugly' side effects. So I understand her friends getting fed up with her at a certain point. However, they just managed to be the absolute worst. Same with her family members. They all just kind of treat her terribly, and when she finally explodes/fights back they also just go straight to being the worst misogynists you've ever encountered. Overall, the misogyny in this book was fucking RAMPANT and I hate how it wasn't adressed at all. Instead over time Eden just went 'well, maybe they're right'. NO. Especialy considering this was written for teens that kind of pissed me off.
On top of that I also just disliked how every single romantic or sexual relationship Eden has in this book is with someone 18+ (except one) while throughout this book she's 13-17. Even though it is understandble why Eden would go that self destructing route, again this is never actually discussed or talked about. In fact as she gets older, her romantic interests get more age appropiate, but she actively isn't interested in them they're just interested in her. Then at the end we get back to a guy from the start who is now 20 and very much in college, and Eden is barely 17 and very much still in high school. Even though they don't get together it is implied he's her endgame, and reading the synopsis of book 2 very clearly shows that is the direction we're going. It just gives me a massive ick, that this is so full of inappropiate age gaps and never really sees it as such again especially as this is directed towards teens.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Sexism, Alcohol
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Drug use
Minor: Addiction
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
emotional
sad
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes