Reviews tagging 'Dysphoria'

Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith

32 reviews

queerloras's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75


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that_bookworm_guy's review against another edition

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dark emotional medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

This is a hard book to review because right up until the ends, I really didn't like the characters. I get the point being made, I do. Some of the trans information and statistics were well done and a good addition. 

First of all, I defo want to put here that I am a trans man. So this is my view as just 1 trans person.

First of all, the romance. I'm defo not great at reading romance, but I definitely didn't find it cute. This could just be me, I'm really aware that romance just isn't my thing. But it felt so focused. I hated, hated how Pony chased Georgia after she said she didn't want to date him. He was counting down the days it had been since they kissed and was purposely making situations hoping for a kiss. And then after a big love show, she turned him down because he is trans and she was worried about her image. I know this is meant to be a point of growth for the characters as she learns that it doesn't matter but yeah, I didn't like this. 

Max, a trans friend, keeps putting pressure on Pony to be out and proud as a trans man when he keeps repeating that he wants to live stealth after what happened before. Then threatens that if he isn't out he will end the friendship. Emotional blackmail. Nope. As a trans person, I don't know a single trans person who would do this to another trans person. He does apologise later, but only after Pony comes out and gets attacked. Max is an incredibly shitty person and apologising is the very least, but yeah, I defo wouldn't trust or forgive someone for doing that. This is such a harmful situation, Pony should have 100% cut Max out of his life at the first sign of emotional manipulation. I really hope trans youths know that they don't ever have to come out like this. I live stealth in my life at work and I would 100% cut out a friend who expected me to share things online such as Facebook where it could risk outing me. Because respect is the least I ask for. Let alone from another trans person. 

The book also got very dark very suddenly at the end. I understand it happens in life. That trans people get assaulted, and that trans people are at a higher risk of suicide. But I just don't think this was handled well at all. It was almost sudden with no warning. 

If you're expecting a cute romance with some hard hitting bits, then it's worth looking into the TWs. Because this gets incredibly dark. 

There is also theme throughout where Georgia is trying to find out Pony's deadname. It's revealed in the end, and although Georgia says that she didn't really need to know what it was and it doesn't matter, it would have been a much nicer thing if the name was never revealed to the reader. If it truly doesn't matter, then don't mention it. I understand the point that was trying to be made, but it would have made a bigger point to not make a huge point of it. The first 2 letters are revealed part way through the book and I feel like it almost leads the reader to want to figure out his deadname. 

I've rated this 2.5/3* simply because there were some good points in this book and I was semi enjoying the train wreck of the romance thinking that it was just me not enjoying romance, but there are definitely some huge red flags with the romance.

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ranjanireviewsreads's review against another edition

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1.0

Okay, let's address this hot fucking mess of a book, one point at a time. With headings and everything!!

Please, please check the trigger warnings below. This book is not what it seems like. It is better to be spoiled for the story than be caught completely off-guard and triggered when the scene literally creeps up on you.

Additionally, I'd like to say that while I don't identify as trans, I am genderqueer. I experience dysphoria on a daily basis and face casual transphobia and homophobia as well. Please read reviews from more transgender readers; they have very valid criticisms about this book.

- A Real Bad Romance: because, let's be honest, Georgia has as much personality as a sopping wet sheet of paper and that personality is... not good. Not only does Pony and Georgia's "romance" start way too early with absolutely no basis (their eyes meet once and that's a sign?), Georgia very obviously misgenders and is transphobic towards Pony multiple times. The attraction between them makes no sense because they knew as much about each other as I knew about them - absolutely nothing substantial.

- A Writing Class?
Writing teenagers is hard. Ways of conversing change wildly between friends, circumstances, and cliques.  Some authors can pull it off better but McSmith is not one of them.
For the first 1/3 of the book, I am hit with completely random info-dumps about Georgia's past and Pony's coming-out story. They are relevant to the story but there is a way to write them and this is not it.

- All the Internalised Transphobia
- Plus the Internalised Homophobia!
I understand that the internal journey of coming to terms with your identity and with the way the world will ultimately treat you is very, very important. However, trans kids are surrounded by stories like this all day, every day in real life. I believe we need more stories of trans acceptance and trans joy, stories that show another side of being trans, stories that show hope. This story is not unnecessary but it IS misleading. It is not a cute, fluffy romance. It is ultimately a coming-out story with very extreme and violent consequences (check trigger warnings!!!!).

As a result, Pony deals with a lot (and I really do mean a lot) of internalised transphobia. I will be writing more details in the content warnings section, but please be prepared going in that Pony's and Georgia's internal monologues can be very triggering. Pony also uses (one) slur (that I can remember) near the beginning, to "fit in" with his outrageously homophobic and transphobic "manly" friends.

- Forced to Come Out? Jail.
Let's talk about Pony's friend Max and the incredibly harmful message the author spreads, even though it may be unintentional. I will say it as many times as I need to: NO ONE NEEDS TO BE OUT TO BE VALID. YOU DO NOT OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION OF YOUR IDENTITY. YOU CAN LIE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT IF IT KEEPS YOU SAFE!!!!!

And that is the gist of the matter, isn't it? Pony was very well aware that being trans in a conservative town, among people he heard being transphobic all day will not be safe for him and YET his BEST FRIEND Max only admitted to understanding Pony's perspective after
Pony was literally assaulted and had to be hospitalised
. It felt like a shallow apology at best and really showed the flaws in the overly-marketed and very young queer community of contemporary times.

Max insisted that Pony should be out and "proud" because a small, conservative high school like Pony's needed a transgender voice while Max himself was out at a "liberal" school where "being gay/trans was normal" (Pony's words; can't remember the exact phrasing). I'm not sure what message the author is trying to give, but I do not like this part of it. Not at all.

- Not the Homophobic + Transphobic Friends
That suddenly become not homophobic and transphobic once it becomes cool to be cool with it? But also I generally do not like how the book wraps up so neatly in the last few minutes, with Max's apology, Georgia's everything-phobic cheerleading team coming around, Pony's fathers total 180; the stakes were so high for the entire book. It was obvious the author just wanted to drop everything to get a cookie cutter "the queer/trans kid gets accepted by everyone and is so brave and finds protection" and god knows what else.

- Not the H*rry P*ttr reference *cries*. I counted one. I don't want to know if I missed any more.

TL;DR: A potentially harmful book, given it's target audience with it's internalised transphobia, transphobic friend circle, and it's message of needing to come out to be true to yourself.

I highly DO NOT recommend this book to anyone.

Instead, I would suggest reading:

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas for a similar set up -- trans MC; unaccepting family; some romance; a quest to prove oneself; fantasy 

The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas -- for a queernorm world and some trans joy; no romance; fantasy

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender

Lark and Kasim Start A Revolution by Kacen Callender

Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

When The Moon was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars 

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the13thmagdalena's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.75


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dealingwithdragons's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful informative medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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whiptaill1z's review against another edition

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medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

2.5


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writtenontheflyleaves's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.75

 Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith 🌞
🌟🌟🌟✨

🌞 The plot: Pony has just moved to a new school. All he wants is to be treated like just another guy, but since coming out as trans, he's felt like people are treating him differently. He's hoping to fly under the radar here, but on his first day, he meets Georgia - a pretty, popular cheerleader who's falling out of love with the rigid social rules she has to abide by. Falling for a cheerleader is not very low-key. Can they find a way to be themselves, together?

This was a sweet story that is optimistic without being fanciful. It gets you in the heart with both its wholesomeness and the heartbreaking things that Pony has to go through, and I really enjoyed it.

From the start, Pony is a hero you can root for, and I felt very protective of him as he navigated the difficulties of being misgendered, including by his own dad, rejected romantically for being transgender, experiencing dysmorphia and having to hear transphobic language from his friends. He deserves the world and is definitely the heart of this novel, which I thought explored the complexities of being a trans teen really powerfully.

I didn't think the other elements of the novel quite matched up to how real Pony felt - I liked the Evelyn Hugo-esque subplot where Pony gets to know a dying actor, and I thought that Georgia's perspective added a lot to the story the book was telling about self-acceptance, but they did feel less flesh-and-blood than Pony. But honestly, I didn't care that much! I really liked this!

🌟 Read this if you want to read an LGBTQ twist on a classic high school trope, and if you want to read/learn more about the experience of being a trans teen, as McSmith writes this in a way that is really accessible.

đźš« Avoid it (or at least tread carefully) if you're sensitive to scenes of transphobia, particularly misgendering and deadnaming, including from family members; BIG tw for transphobic violence and suicidal thoughts; homophobia, forced outing and body dysmorphia. There are a lot of potential triggers in this book and there's a list inside the front cover, but personally I think these are balanced by a lot of affirming and uplifting moments! 

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nerdysread's review against another edition

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emotional funny inspiring lighthearted reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

A really good book about a trans teen who wants to who wants to live a « normal » Life. But then he falls in love and he starts questioning himself and ignore has to tell the girl he loves if he’s trans. 

Also his friend wants him to come out. Not hide himself and live his true self. 

So Pony has to navigate a new life trying to be a new Him, without loosing himself. 

But seriously some things really felt problematic. Like Georgia feeling betrayed because Pony didn’t tell her he’s trans. Like??? It’s dangerous. Max pressuring Pony to come out. But for this I kinda of get both of their pov on the question. 

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cryscries's review against another edition

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emotional reflective tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.75

I’m being generous about the rating because genuinely the first half of the book was cute - cringe but cute. The second half was not as great and overall there was just a lot of things about this book that I wish was developed a bit better.

Pros: there is a trigger warning in one of the pages before the story begins in the paperback version.

Cons:

1. It was hard to root for the main two characters - especially the main love interest. Georgia is supposed to represent probably a typical cis person reaction but i found it so hard to feel bad for her and her issues. I find her to be rather self centered (even tho she is characterized to kinda be insecure) - throughout the story even though she “gets better” as a person it still doesn’t make up for how she’s acted in the rest of the book. Very passive with standing up for her friends and pony, thoughts of outing him out of jealousy, definitely needs new friends who should be supportive.

2. Everything kinda just works out in the end for pony but it feels a little lack luster in the end of how he gets to where he is - his change feels more said than done.

3. Major problems with the side character max- tho I feel there was a lot of stereotypes in this book, o felt Max’s character was rather toxic. FIRST THINGS FIRST, you do not need to come out if you are not ready and you do not need to come out to show that you are supportive of the community. Do things at your own time. I had problems with max being rather pushy towards pony in wanting him to come out when it is definitely not safe to, have him drop the friendship because pony doesn’t want to be out, and then says he’s proud of pony for coming out at the cost of being beaten up because “it happens everyday” 

There were some cute moments in this book but there was too much problems to overlook that. 

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amelia_22's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.0


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