Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'

You've Lost a Lot of Blood by Eric LaRocca

21 reviews

cutelilcryptid's review against another edition

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dark tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.0

First, I want to say that I was SO READY to like this book. I picked it up in a bookstore with no context (I haven't read Larocca's previous work and knew little about it, despite the TikTok hype). I read the Introduction and thought that reading the collected writings of a fictional murderer would be AWESOME. Even though I knew it was fiction, I bought into the concept entirely and I was HYPED to read it.


...and that's where the excitement stopped.  I'm not going to whine about content. Shoving toothpicks in people's ears? Daydreaming about how you'd kill your boyfriend? Masturbating on cancer patients? Cyborg cunnilingus? Fine, whatever. I signed up for weird shit when I chose to read a book in this genre. The actual reasons for my discontent are outlined below.

1.  Have I mentioned that I love the concept of this book? The concept is that this collection of dialogue, poetry, and novella chapters were written by a serial killer, Martyr Black, and has been published in order to "shed light" on his crimes, victims, and possibly give hints to where he's disappeared to. I was 100% ready to take a highlighter to this book and make a whole ass conspiracy theory pinboard trying to connect the dots and piece together everything he did, where he disappeared to, and why he left. There's this tendency with writing, especially with poetry, to try to conflate the narrative voice with the voice of the writer themselves and view all poetry as autobiographical (*cough*Sylvia Plath*cough*), and I thought this book was going to provide some really interesting commentary on that idea. Which leads to my next point:

2. The ending "plot twist" totally fumbled the entire concept for the book (I use "plot twist" in the loosest sense, this book has no real plot beyond what I already stated). At the end of the book you find out that
MARTYR BLACK PLAGIARIZED EVERYTHING FROM HIS VICTIMS.  With the exception of the dialogues recorded on his phone, the poems and the ENTIRE NOVELLA were stolen from people he murdered. So any REAL attempts to piece the mystery of Martyr Black together through his writing is an utter fucking waste because HE DIDN'T WRITE IT.
While this might provide interesting commentary on the "haha this is why you shouldn't treat people's writing as autobiographical" idea I mentioned earlier, the real reason I hate it is because it effectively shirks all responsibility for the established concept.  

Remember how I said I was ready to take a highlighter to this and go crazy connecting dots trying to figure out who Martyr is and why he did what he did?  The ending renders that effectively impossible, because it's not actually written by Martyr.  As a reader, I felt this was a cheap and lazy ploy. It would be much more difficult, after all, to craft a self-contained anthology that, bit by bit, reveals more and more about the writer and how his dark obsessions lead to hideous acts. Instead we get "hee hoo the whole thing was stolen anyway". It's the equivalent of getting to the end of the book and the main character wakes up in bed and says "Wow, what a strange dream". I was pissed.

ONE MAJOR PROBLEM with this ending: if this is an anthology of "stolen" poetry, there are still way too many thematic and stylistic connections between different works. One of the poems mentions "Holy Eucharist" and there's a later poems is titled "Eucharist". The same poem is also titled "I Search for You Until My Lungs Sprout Metal" and the ENTIRE NOVELLA is about people being infested by machines. These are just a few examples I can think of off hand and I'm sure there's plenty more. There also just seems to be little effort put into differentiating the works from one another stylistically (you know, the way they would be if all written by different people). Like, the book isn't even properly selling the "this was all plagiarism" concept that well. It's infuriating.


3. Purely as prose, the writing itself is quite good. Larocca's use of language is exquisite and masterful--to say anything less because I didn't like the end of the book would be discrediting him. The poetry is think is a little less inspired--it just seems like regular prose from anywhere else in the book with some line breaks tossed in.   Good poetry is not just prose with line breaks, and I will die on that hill.

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keen's review against another edition

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dark mysterious reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25


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apersonfromflorida's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5


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sharkgirlsam's review against another edition

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challenging dark sad fast-paced
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
because of the way this book is compiled i don't feel like i can give it a rating? i really enjoyed reading it (i was looking for something that would make me squirm) but it doesn't really fit the normal book composition so it's hard to give it stars 
with that said, this book was one of the most unique and disturbing i've read so far 
•it's 10000% more vibes than plot which i've learned i actually LOVE 
•probably the most gory, graphic, grotesque book i've read so far and probably is my limit, i don't know if i could handle anything that could possibly be worse than this (check TW for this one) 
•in my opinion it's more of an anthology of a fictional character put together by a fictional editor which was a little confusing at first but i found it to be pretty cool 
•there's a story within a story and i liked them both which is one of the reasons i think i liked it so much 
•the diary entries literally made my skin crawl and stomach churn i almost couldn't get through some of them 
•the novella reminded me so much of the saw movies, my favorite horror flicks, so ofc i ate it up! 
•i have my own personal theory as to how the novella is related to the diary entries and selected poems but i'll leave that out  

bookstagram: @littlelibraryofsam !! 

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ripxw's review against another edition

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dark emotional fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? N/A
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? N/A
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25


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thereaderfriend's review against another edition

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dark mysterious medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Okay I'm confused I think in a good way. I've not ever read something like this so I think that's why my review is limited. But I still want to reread it and read more of the authors works. Definitely was a super creepy mind fuck of a read. I preferred the story within the story more than the ambrose and martyr section and didn't really care for the poems either but I think that's bc I didn't see all the connections this time around. Not sure if I recommend bc I literally only understand a few things lol 😅 

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wadefrye's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This book was amazing. It was the first book that have ever read fully through. When i first started to read this book I was a little confused on how the poems, the novella, and the conversation recordings linked together, but then in the end it made sense. I will definitely be recommending this book to others.

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thebookishlibra_'s review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5


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bookedandbusy's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This was a wild ride from start to finish. Such a strange book, and I loved it.  

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mikimachtchaos's review against another edition

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challenging dark mysterious tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Incredible. I've never read anything  like this  ever before. I was unable to stop reading or to take my mind off the book. It's depicted in such an interesting way, truly a masterpiece

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