Reviews with content warning for Animal cruelty - The Encounter

(All cws apply for this review.)

Unlike the other four books around it, Tobias's "introduction" book focuses less on solidifying Tobias's reasons to fight, and more upon his struggle with his own existence and belonging in the world. Jake, Rachel, Cassie, and Marco all come from places where they are loved and supported and, as Rachel said in the book before this: love is like wearing a suit of armor, it makes you strong.

Tobias's home life is the opposite of that. His parents are no longer in the picture (what happened to them exactly, well, those are spoilers) and he's shipped across the country like an unwanted memento between an aunt and an uncle who care absolutely nothing for him. Further, as he emphasizes in this book, he has no friends aside from those in the Animorphs. And even then, in book one Jake's view of him isn't a friendly sort (he isn't cruel, of course, simply disinterested in the boy who follows him around after saving him) and Marco simply considers him as "that weird kid" for the first few books of the series (and Tobias, in turn, says in this very book that he doesn't consider them on those terms either). Tobias, unlike the others, starts out with no place to belong, with nobody to love him. He starts out aimless, dreamy, and it's only when Elfangor's ship crashes down does Tobias realize he can actually do something, make an impact on the world.

Tobias had absolutely zero qualms from the beginning about fighting. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain, and the weird psychic connection he shares with Elfangor (who's his dad, that's his literal biological father, that's the spoiler for a 20 year old series) only makes his determination stronger. He's the first to morph, the first to put his foot down, and it changes him. In the first book we even see him standing ground to Marco's anger and sarcasm, stating that he's changed.

But, obviously, that's not the end of the story. All of that is book one, the Tobias we see through Jake's eyes, just starting upon his own character arc.

A Tobias who, at the end of book one, changes in an incredibly, horrifyingly, literal manner.

From human to hawk. Forever.

(Or "forever", as the Ellimist will say come book 13, with air quotes.)

It's implied, and I'm pretty sure KA has outright stated, that Tobias did it on purpose (or, at least, partially on purpose). His transformation to hawk is the perfect metaphor for his desires: to escape the person he was, escape the situation he was in at home, get out of that loveless place and "fly free" and become someone "different". Obviously, however, a physical change can only do so much.

Book 3, Tobias's first book, goes deeper into his thoughts and feelings on this, and uncovers the new struggle he's been facing since becoming a hawk:

Is he even still human anymore? Does he even want to be human anymore? Or is he the hawk? Does he - should he - regret this choice?

He goes back and forth on it. Tobias's past was that of an unloved, friendless child - and so the hawk's solitary lifestyle isn't difficult for him to handle (especially with the freedom he feels being released from the household that neglected him). Still, he was born human, he is human, and humans are social creatures who require connection with others - while the solitary lifestyle isn't all that different from his past life, he still craves those connections. Being uncomfortable with the very human gestures his friends offer him, and the very human way they expect him to be (Jake makes him a bed of blankets in his attic, and puts mashed potatoes and vegetables in with his food - two things Tobias says the hawk's body physically cannot be comfortable with, though he feels bad telling Jake so) but also not wanting to lose this new connection he has to the others, very human connections that he says a hawk would care nothing for (so he strives not to hunt like a hawk would, as that would simply push him further away from everyone). All in all: Tobias doesn't feel like he fits in either world, which leaves him where he was before. Someone without a place in the world.

At some point in the story, he loses focus and attacks a rat, eating it live until his human self bubbles in with disgust. He flies away to a) the place where his closest friend in the group (Rachel) is and b) absolutely attempts suicide in a desperate rush to "knock himself out of this dream". After Rachel and Marco save him, he runs away from them and lives for several days as a hawk, blocking all human thought and existence as much as he can.

However, his human instincts to protect cause him to save a human from a hork-bajir.

As said before, Tobias needs no reason to fight. What he needs is a reason to be, a place to belong, and reminding himself of the war he goes back to the only people who tried to give him that.

One thing I find interesting in this series is Tobias and Rachel's relationship. Like Jake and Cassie they're pretty much paired together immediately. However, Jake and Cassie have a history - Cassie being Rachel's best friend and Jake being her cousin, it's almost assured that Cassie's been to family parties and the like, so Jake and Cassie have had a decent amount of time to socialize over the years. Tobias is new to their group, brought in more by Jake than anyone, so the way he and Rachel immediately lock into each other is interesting to think about. Either way, this book showcases the beginning of their relationship best. Every breakdown Tobias has in this book (maybe three in all?) it's Rachel who he goes to first, because Rachel is the one who's opened her arms to Tobias the most. Rachel has been the most open and accepting to Tobias, has been his strongest defender, and his most important confidante. And, because of that, it's Rachel who Tobias goes to first when he's started to accept the duality of his life.

<[...] That's how I know you are wrong, Rachel, at least partly. I am a human, yes. But I am also a hawk. I'm a predator who kills for food. And I'm also a human being who... who grieves, over death.>

Oh. Also, Tobias trans, it's just true :/ (He's a great reading for a trans character, and I'm grateful that KA and her husband are open to that headcanon, even if they didn't originally intend for it to be so.)

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