Reviews with content warning for Sexual content - Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

This book is incredible. It's asks us to reconsider consent, sex, intimacy while centering asexual people and letting them know they're not broken, it's ok to not experience sexual desire regardless of the reason or experiences that intertwine with these feelings

Content Warnings

displacedcactus's review against another edition

Go to review page

informative medium-paced

This book is a good introduction to asexuality. It covers a lot of topics, including but not limited to:
-What asexuality is and what it's like to be asexual
-The history of asexual communities on the internet
-The intersections of asexuality and gender, race, or disability
-Aromanticism
-How some couples handle an ace/allosexual relationship
-Compulsive heteronormativity, sexuality, and romance in Western culture

The author is pretty clear at the beginning about the limits of her book, and at the end she provides some ideas for further reading. There are also extensive notes for each chapter.

My only real complaint about the book is that it could have used another editing pass. There are some typos and sentences that are either missing words or have extra words, requiring 2-3 rereadings to figure out what the author actually meant.

Over all, this would be a good place to start if you're either considering whether you might be ace, if you want to better understand asexual loved ones, or if you'd like to consider ace/aro characters in your writing projects.

Content Warnings

linblythe_pub22's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective relaxing fast-paced

5.0

This book helped me so much to understand myself and others. Ace is a reassuring and eye opening read for aces but also anyone who has questions about the roles of sex and romance in our society. Everyone should read it.

Content Warnings

siebensommer's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging informative slow-paced

4.0

No one remarks on the fact that if anyone needs to make up an identity to get out of having sex, that is the bigger problem.
It is a failure of society if anyone needs to say “I have a partner" to turn someone down, and it is a failure of society if anyone needs to invoke a sexual orientation to avoid unwanted sex because saying no doesn't do the job.

a worthy read that makes you think and feel. i found this still put a major focus on a supremacy of relationships between two people over a kinship-oriented approach, at least up until the final chapter - kinda disappointing because the space for a general new view of worthy relationships would have been right there

Content Warnings

takarakei's review against another edition

Go to review page

informative medium-paced

4.5

I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially those in the LGBTQIA+ community and allies. This is a fascinating examination of our wider (mostly American) culture, and how sex obsessed it is. As someone who is alo (not ace), there was so much I gained from listening. I really enjoyed the intersectionality of acephobia and homophobia, racism, ableism, transphobia - basically the oppression of all marginalized groups.

Content Warnings

librarymouse's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional funny informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

Ace is a well-written and thoughtful exploration of asexuality beyond the label. The dedication "for everyone who has wanted to want more" almost made me cry before I'd even started on the contents of the book. It is the gratifying and heartbreaking possibility of being known and understood within a lifetime spent feeling broken. Prior to reading this, the possibility of struggling when aging and losing my own agency/physical ability alone had always been a scary thought I tried to suppress. Chen's exploration of alternative ways of being and of forming bonds, as well as alternative community structures begs further reflection on my own part, and also offers some comfort from those fears. Finding that the l language necessary to explore and define myself and issues I find myself up against exists is incredibly valuable and validating. I have identified as asexual for about 5 years, often feeling broken along theIway. I've learned so much from this book. I want everyone I love to read it.

Content Warnings

chloeluna's review against another edition

Go to review page

informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

I’m not a fan of first-person books in general and rarely read non-fiction. However, as an ace person this book was important for me to have read, and while so much of it I already knew from my previous knowledge seeking and/or personal experience, there was a lot still for me to (re)discover. The audiobook was really helpful for me as I struggled reading manually and assured me I did in fact want to own a physical copy. Started off slow for me, but the deeper discussions that interested me were farther in anyway.

Content Warnings

More...