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Reviews tagging 'Medical trauma'
Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen
7 reviews
pandemonicbaby's review against another edition
5.0
It presented and described many different ace experiences, which just goes to show how no one community is homogenous, and how people are able to find different ways of finding love and happiness in their own existence.
This book also helped me reevaluate my own relationship with sexuality, and reflect upon how much of it has been molded by societal expectations and fear. This read has made me maybe a little bit less scared of maybe not conforming to what society expects of me, and of looking for intimacy in relationships in the way *i* want to have intimacy in relationships; not in the way societal expectations have told me to.
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Medical trauma
Minor: Pregnancy, Sexual harassment, Dementia, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Murder, Rape, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, and Toxic relationship
celestepaed's review against another edition
4.5
Moderate: Acephobia/Arophobia
Minor: Rape, Medical content, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Medical trauma, Ableism, Sexism, Sexual content, and Toxic relationship
theaceofpages's review against another edition
3.0
But anyway. Some of the things that annoyed me:
Firstly. The dedication. It made me uncomfortable as it very much plays into compulsory sexuality. Many of us don't feel like we are lacking anything because we don't experience sexual attraction. I have never wanted "more" because I am not missing something...
This is a big one because it's a trend I've seen a lot on the online asexual community. Whenever she mentions repulsed people (of which I am one) she has to go one to remind the reader that asexual can have and enjoy sex. Yes, there is a spectrum, but as someone who has had unwanted advanced because of the constant emphasis on neutral and favourable people (no hate to you!) I wish that repulsion could just stand by itself sometimes rather than a prelude to some kind of "but there are others not like THEM".
The author states several times that she's maybe not 100% confident in her sexuality. And this is perfectly okay. But maybe then put more focus on other people instead of trying to justify yourself to the reader?
The false equivalences. No means no doesn't mean that there isn't a range of consents. People saying rape is violence rather than sex doesn't mean that all sex is good.
It jumps around a lot. She'll mention "person X from place Y" in multiple very split up places and it's difficult to keep track of individual stories.
I didn't like the part about aro people and QPRs. It wasn't particularly clear and I often found it to be contradictory. And why, just why would you use killers to introduce this theme??? Aro people are already stereotypically pained as all kinds of negative related things.
The whole discussion about HSDD. Is it a problem that asexual people are diagnosed? Yes. I agree with that. But does that mean it shouldn't exist? No? Of course not? If people are genuinely distressed by their lack of desire (which is separate from attraction anyway?) they should have a way forward and diagnoses can help with that. Don't tell allos it isn't helpful and that maybe they should consider identifying as ace or just get over it instead. Does compulsory sexuality feed into this in a bad way? Of course. But that doesn't mean it's not helpful.
She criticises the asexual community for being too white and goes on to focus on a very small subset (white, middle class, largely American, etc). I mean, at least she was upfront about it but this could have been such a great opportunity to uplift the voices she feels are being drowned out. I also find it troubling that she presents a lot of it as truths. As someone who is from a very different part of the world I can tell you I've had very different experiences. The fact that she states what she's found as the absolute truth is... let's just say not good. Since she has never met a gold star asexual (i.e. no other reasons to not be having sex and never having wanted it) she concludes they can't exist. I have met a handful of aces (far fewer than her since she did research and reached out) and I can tell you they do. While maybe people being so certain about who they are may make others feel confused about their identity it doesn't mean we should be erasing these experiences (especially since most people confident in their asexuality doesn't even use it to belittle others???)
Anyway, I'm going to leave this for now. I had to delay writing this for internet reasons so I may be back later if I remember something else.
Graphic: Ableism and Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Transphobia, Medical trauma, Sexual assault, Murder, Sexual content, and Racism
Minor: Rape
linblythe_pub22's review against another edition
5.0
Minor: Xenophobia, Rape, Transphobia, Toxic relationship, Sexual content, Religious bigotry, Pregnancy, Medical trauma, Infidelity, and Acephobia/Arophobia
librarymouse's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Classism, Emotional abuse, Medical trauma, Medical content, Religious bigotry, Sexual violence, Body shaming, Mental illness, Misogyny, Racism, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, Chronic illness, and Ableism
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship
thebookpaiges's review against another edition
Graphic: Transphobia and Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Sexual assault, Ableism, Racism, Rape, and Medical trauma
pastelkerstin's review against another edition
5.0
This book fills a previous gap of non-fiction about asexuality that goes beyond mere Asexuality 101 (definition of asexuality, busting of common misconceptions) but that is still accessible to a broader audience. It has deservedly become the go-to rec for people looking for non-fiction books about asexuality.
In terms of non-fiction about asexuality, I've previously read Ace and Proud: An Asexual Anthology, which is mostly made up of ace people talking about their personal experiences, and it's fine for what it is, but as an anthology, it doesn't have an overarching structure. And then there was also Sex or Ice cream?: Secrets of an Asexual; Asexuality in a Sexed Up World—A Thought-Provoking and Comically Quirky Memoir, a memoir I strongly disliked for several reasons (see my review of it for details). Another non-fiction book about asexuality that I have started to read (and intend on finishing) is the more academic Asexual Erotics: Intimate Readings of Compulsory Sexuality. But ACE is different from all of those books and if you are a) not ace but want to learn more about asexuality and how it relates to other topics, b) questioning whether you are ace, or c) are ace and are tired of Asexuality 101 explanations, I'd say read ACE. It's a good introduction to asexuality if you need that but it also has so much more in store. I've known I'm asexual for over eight years. I'm not interested in basic definitions anymore. I'm interested in intersectionality and politics and the complexity of human relationships. I'm interested in analyses of how being a-spec in a world where you are assumed to be attracted to people romantically and sexually shapes your life. And ACE delivers just that.
Chen manages to cover quite a lot of ground in the pages of this books, talking about toxic masculinity, feminism, race, disability, compulsory sexuality, the pathologization of low/no sexual attraction, hermeneutical injustice, relationships, marriage law, consent and more, and how those topics relate to asexual people but also to many non-aces. A lot of the things ace activists fight for are things that would also benefit other people, who do not identify as a-spec, because ace activism often gets to the core of societal problems. I believe you will get something out of this book even if you're not ace for that reason as well.
Also, it should be noted that despite the title, the author also talks about aromanticism. She interviewed not only aroace but also aromantic allosexual people. Most of the book is more concerned with asexuality, so the branding makes sense, but there is a-spec content beyond and seperate from asexuality in here, which I think is great because aromanticism is often overlooked.
I really enjoyed my time with this book and I hope that we'll see even more good non-fiction about a-spec themes in the future. A lot of the topics that Chen mentions are so big and interesting that they could probably fill a whole book on their own. I think the topic of how asexuality intersects with gender roles and gender identity would be a great book, for example. Books like Chen's make me optimistic about the future of a-spec activism and literature!
Moderate: Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Medical trauma, Racism, Sexism, Sexual content, and Misogyny
Minor: Bullying, Dysphoria, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, Pregnancy, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Murder, Death, and Death of parent