Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

1 review

skudiklier's review against another edition

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challenging informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

I'm a white person, so my opinions on books about racism don't really matter, and speaking as if they do feels weird. However, if my (more detailed) positive review of this book can get anyone to read it, I think that's worth maybe coming across poorly to others who think I should just say it's good and move on. Happy to hear others' opinions on this though if anyone finds anything I say in this review off-putting! 

So, that said: I feel like a lot of books on race/racism and related topics (policing, the criminal punishment system, racial justice) often lean towards either A) being too broad and not challenging enough, so that (white) people can feel like they understand without ever being made to feel uncomfortable, or B) starting from a place of understanding farther along in the process so that they maybe end up preaching to the choir a bit, because very few people will fully read them who weren't already in agreement. There are benefits to this and I'm not saying books in that second category aren't necessary and useful--they very much are. But still, I wouldn't recommend them to my older family members, for instance, or to people who want to understand but just don't get it yet.

This book, in my (again, definitely white) opinion, strikes a really good balance between those two sides. It very clearly and unapologetically lays out hard truths and things that might make readers uncomfortable, especially white readers who haven't had to think much about their own racism or complicity in white supremacy. However, it also argues so well a lot of the common points people make. Like, there are some people close to me who I've had conversations with about race where I've ended up frustrated because I couldn't get them to understand what I was trying to say. And this book, again and again, explained things in a way I feel like those people would actually get. I want every white person I've tried to discuss race with (and came away frustrated) to read this book. It's obviously not going to fix everything, but it might get them to a similar page where we can then start to talk about more actions and solutions, rather than getting bogged down in things like why white people can't say the N word or why focusing on addressing class on its own won't solve racism.

tl;dr, So You Want to Talk About Race is full of good, clear, solid explanations for people who are learning this for the first time, or may feel defensive or disinclined to believe basic truths about race and racism. 

There are also lots of examples of actionable ways to use privilege for good, help make conversations about race easier, etc. This book is useful for people at many stages of knowledge and experience with racial issues and theories, and I'd recommend it to anyone interested, but especially white people. 

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