I found this book so interesting! If I had to describe what it's about, I'd say that it's about losing things/people and how often you lose something/one before you actually physically lose it/them and also about the roles that women play as mothers. I loved how the pov shifted with different chapters including moving from second person to third person. I had been viewing the role women take as mothers negatively throughout the book, and I was delighted that Shin Kyungsook explicitly challenged that near the end. I think it will be a deeply relatable read for anyone who has a complicated relationship with their mother or with motherhood.
Shin Kyungsook is a really interesting storyteller. I think there's a lot of deep stuff going on that I can't see due to my limitations as a reader. It's really cool to be able to feel it even though I can't see it :)
Graphic: Chronic illness
Moderate: Death of parent, Injury/Injury detail, Infidelity, Child abuse, Death, and Dementia
Minor: Animal death, Miscarriage, War, and Suicide
Suicide:Park Sonyo's brother-in-law dies by suicide. They were close and she's accused of murdering him. The suicide itself is not explained in detail and is also not explicitly named for what it is
Infidelity: Park Sonyo's husband cheats on her, and she temporarily leaves the home while the woman he is cheating on her with is living there. This woman tries to take on the role of mother with the kids, and the eldest son rejects her efforts. Her husband and the woman end up leaving and traveling together for some time, and the husband eventually returns. Park Sonyo may have technically cheated on her husband? This is unclear. There is a man she spends a great deal of time with and seems to think she might have viewed him romantically
Child Abuse: This may be a controversial tag. I think the child abuse is expected for the time period. I personally consider very seriously yelling at kids, guilting them with your potential death, and hitting them all as abuse. The kids are hit with switches, sometimes until they bleed, in situations when their actions are deemed severe by the mother. One of the daughters is also berated fairly extremely for what I felt was an age appropriate, though admittedly extreme, action. It is clear also imo that these actions come from a place of parents not knowing any different.
Animal Death: it's a farming family, so there's some mention of butchering animals but not in detail, and there's a slightly more detailed description of a dog passing away
Chronic Illness/Dementia: I'm not totally sure about whether Park Sonyo has dementia as it's only her symptoms that are described. She has memory loss, confusion, intense headaches/migraines regularly. These incapacitate her. She describes the pain from her headaches in detail. She also at one point has breast cancer that is neglected until it becomes physically visible on her breast
Miscarriage: One of Park Sonyo's pregnancy results in a stillbirth, and she buries the baby herself. This isn't described in great detail I don't think and also makes her concerned for her following pregnancy
The parents lived through the Korean War and there is description of some of their experiences but this is largely devoid of explicit violence against the parents. The impacts of the war are felt throughout their lives.
Park Sonyo is spotted after her disappearance with a cut on her foot caused by her sandal digging in. At one point, this is describe in some detail that I personally found a little difficult to hear because it was infected.
Death of Parent/Death: Park Sonyo does pass away. The family never finds her so they don't have explicit confirmation of this. Part of the story follows Park Sonyo after death viewing her youngest daughter and her home. The details of her death are not explained in detail