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"And that's how it feels, it hurts, it's like I lost you before I was born"
The reason this didn't get 5 stars for me is firstly due to the pacing in the second half (I feel it dragged a bit more than it should've after the 55-60% mark), which made it lose a bit of the tension it had up until that point, and secondly due to some inconsistencies in the writing. Although I found it profound for the most part, some chapters and specific passages didn't deliver as well as others, which in turn made the characters seem incongruent; it felt like you'd gotten to know them behaving and speaking in a specific manner, only to then have some dialogue or inner thought that seemed out of place (for example,
Despite this I've grown attached to the main characters, and although it is a violent story in nature I could still see the tenderness woven throughout by the author. It was easy to sense how much thought and care they put into this book. These two will pretentious teens always haunt me, and honestly I'm happy about it.
"I need to make something beautiful, something that lasts. I don't know what, but I have to, if I want my life to matter at all."
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Grief, Death of parent, Murder
Moderate: Homophobia, Self harm, Suicide, Violence
Minor: Animal death, Sexual content, Antisemitism
Graphic: Cursing, Death, Homophobia, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Death of parent, Murder, Toxic friendship
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Violence, Blood, Grief, Stalking, Gaslighting, Classism
Minor: Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, Antisemitism, Car accident, Fire/Fire injury
“I kill them because they’re beautiful, and it’s the only way I can keep them.”
This was incredible. I need to sit with my thoughts on this one a little longer, will update later, just... wow.
Graphic: Homophobia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Toxic relationship, Violence, Stalking, Murder, Fire/Fire injury
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Antisemitism, Medical content
For characters which had been set up by the story to have what seemed like a decent code of ethics, their behavior seemed incongruous. I thought it was going to be about them getting obsessed with each other, maybe exploring sadistic tendencies, and taking it out on people they thought deserved it but by this point in the book it seemed much darker than that. My warnings are not comprehensive
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Homophobia, Violence
Minor: Sexual content, Suicide, Antisemitism, Death of parent
i’m really intrigued by the idea of paul as an unreliable narrator, especially in the portrayal of julian and of his family. i also think the author’s note at the end really seals the deal on these ideas of righteous anger, the fine line between love and obsession and the intricacies of being queer and jewish in the 20th century.
the book presents a number of moral ethical dilemmas that challenge the reader, but nothing is perhaps so challenging as being confronted with the reality of paul and julian and how one can see themselves reflected in their neuroticism, even in the slightest ways.
there were times throughout the book where i felt i was missing information, but upon reflection i realize that’s intentional - we were occupying paul’s mind, of course he’s going to leave details out and obsess over others.
i am tentatively docking the 0.25 stars for a tendency to drag in the middle, but overall, i devoured this novel in all its brutal honesty. i hope to see more of the author
i would recommend this book to: fans of “saltburn”, dark academia enthusiasts, fans of unreliable narrators, jegulus fanfiction readers
Graphic: Toxic relationship
Moderate: Homophobia, Vomit, Antisemitism, Murder
Definitely some interesting ideas here about the sometimes blurry lines between passion / violence and the arrogance of youth. If you like Patricia Highsmith and Donna Tartt, there are things you'll like here
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Violence, Murder
Moderate: Death, Mental illness, Suicide, Antisemitism, Death of parent
Such twisted love, such obsession, such intellect— such twisted characters.
It’s hard to review without spoiling the read. I can say this, trauma, depression, do not mix well with narcissistic personality— “These Violent Delights have Violent Ends”.
The only reason I dropped .25⭐️ is because at times I felt so uncomfortable at the disturbing behaviours between the pair. Also, I didn’t want the story to end, I wanted to know more, it was disheartening to have it end, especially as it did.
Graphic: Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Violence, Stalking, Murder
Minor: Blood, Antisemitism
Graphic: Cursing, Homophobia, Mental illness, Death of parent
Moderate: Death, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Antisemitism, Murder, Toxic friendship, Classism
Minor: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Self harm, Sexual content, Forced institutionalization, Car accident, Alcohol
Graphic: Death, Emotional abuse, Self harm, Toxic relationship, Violence, Death of parent, Murder, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Animal death, Drug use, Homophobia, Self harm, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Antisemitism, Abandonment
Minor: Addiction, Animal cruelty, Chronic illness, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Outing, Abandonment, War
Graphic: Homophobia, Murder
Moderate: Suicide, Toxic relationship, Antisemitism, Grief, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury