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moonyreadsbystarlight's review against another edition
4.25
She speaks candidly about racism and fatphobia that she experiences from stragers, but also violence from her parents as a child and partners as an adult. The violence of a homeland she can no longer visit and of a home that was too hostile to return to. She also speaks of the relationships and small interactions that have facilitated he healing, from the kindness of strangers to reconciliation, to entering the world of kink.
This was well-written and engaging. I listened to the audiobook over the course of just a couple of days.
Graphic: Physical abuse, Infidelity, Domestic abuse, Body shaming, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Xenophobia, Toxic relationship, Sexual content, Sexism, Racism, and Child abuse
Moderate: Abortion
Explicit discussion of kink and BDSMamberinpieces's review
4.0
Graphic: Medical content, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Alcohol, Cursing, Body shaming, Islamophobia, Misogyny, Xenophobia, Adult/minor relationship, Drug use, Fatphobia, Injury/Injury detail, Racism, and Sexism
Minor: Violence, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Abortion, Emotional abuse, Blood, Car accident, Chronic illness, Colonisation, Death of parent, Grief, Gun violence, Deportation, Infidelity, War, Mass/school shootings, Pandemic/Epidemic, Rape, Sexual assault, Excrement, Genocide, and Cancer
onlyonebookshelf's review against another edition
3.0
Graphic: Islamophobia and Child abuse
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Toxic relationship, Homophobia, and Xenophobia
nightlight_reader's review against another edition
3.75
I love how open Jarrar is about her life and her relationship with her parents and her cultures. I also think I gained a much better understanding of BDSM culture from this book, which I definitely wasn’t expecting. This was great in an audiobook format, although a few chapters will probably just read better in normal book form based on format and structure of the stories. (If you’ve read it, you can probably guess which one.)
I’d really like to read more about her relationship with her son in the future, I think, because it seems like a relationship full of love but also with strain. She talks a lot about her past but I’d like to hear her thoughts on the future, too.
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Body shaming, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Physical abuse, and Racism
Moderate: Physical abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Infidelity, Medical trauma, and Xenophobia
Minor: Injury/Injury detail and Eating disorder
rahthesungod's review against another edition
4.0
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, Violence, Xenophobia, Toxic relationship, and Child abuse
questingnotcoasting's review against another edition
3.5
Graphic: Sexual assault, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, and Racism
churameru's review against another edition
4.0
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Eating disorder and Sexual assault
maisierosereads's review against another edition
4.0
Love is an Ex-Country is a poignant memoir about Randa Jarrar's life and experiences as a fat, queer, Muslim Arab-American woman. She discusses childhood, marriage, sex, motherhood, her Muslim identity, kink, her white-passing privilege, and much more on a personal level; she also weaves in facts about, for instance, the occupation of Palestine and how that affects her as a Palestinian. This memoir is not always easy or comfortable to read, with explicit depictions of e.g. domestic abuse and sexual assault, but if you are able to read about these topics it is worth it.
There is a strong theme of travel throughout the book - with journeys around the USA with her dog as well as to multiple other countries - but I would not call it a travelogue, which seems to have caused some confusion for other viewers. I personally prefer memoirs-with-travel rather than travel-with-memories, so this did not bother me.
If you would like a taste of the style of this memoir, many of the chapters have previously been published as essays in various magazines. Randa has also written fiction, which I will definitely be looking into and reading in the future.
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Islamophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship
clarabooksit's review against another edition
2.5
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Islamophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Religious bigotry, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Body shaming
Moderate: Drug use and Police brutality
fatimak's review against another edition
3.0
However, something about this book just didn't quite click with me (which feels weird to say as it's a memoir). I think perhaps the author's writing style just isn't for me. The way the book is structured and how we learn about different events and aspects of the author's life felt quite fragmented and all over the place. There were parts where I was confused about when in her life she was talking about and sometimes the use of letters in place of people's names got confusing (in particular, how she uses the letter L a lot to refer to different people).
Overall, I admire the author's courage to write such a personal memoir as well as her strength in making it through such awful experiences and, from what it sounds like, finding a form of peace and acceptance at the end, but I didn't quite connect to the story. I think there'll be many people who find this memoir interesting and get something out of it, so I'd encourage you to give it a chance if you're thinking of reading it (particularly if you're of American-Egyptian and/or Palestinian heritage, as books with that kind of representation aren't very common, though not being of either background I can't speak to the quality of the representation).
I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Islamophobia, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship