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moonyreadsbystarlight's review against another edition
4.25
She speaks candidly about racism and fatphobia that she experiences from stragers, but also violence from her parents as a child and partners as an adult. The violence of a homeland she can no longer visit and of a home that was too hostile to return to. She also speaks of the relationships and small interactions that have facilitated he healing, from the kindness of strangers to reconciliation, to entering the world of kink.
This was well-written and engaging. I listened to the audiobook over the course of just a couple of days.
Graphic: Physical abuse, Infidelity, Domestic abuse, Body shaming, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Xenophobia, Toxic relationship, Sexual content, Sexism, Racism, and Child abuse
Moderate: Abortion
Explicit discussion of kink and BDSMamberinpieces's review
4.0
Graphic: Medical content, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Alcohol, Cursing, Body shaming, Islamophobia, Misogyny, Xenophobia, Adult/minor relationship, Drug use, Fatphobia, Injury/Injury detail, Racism, and Sexism
Minor: Violence, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Abortion, Emotional abuse, Blood, Car accident, Chronic illness, Colonisation, Death of parent, Grief, Gun violence, Deportation, Infidelity, War, Mass/school shootings, Pandemic/Epidemic, Rape, Sexual assault, Excrement, Genocide, and Cancer
nightlight_reader's review against another edition
3.75
I love how open Jarrar is about her life and her relationship with her parents and her cultures. I also think I gained a much better understanding of BDSM culture from this book, which I definitely wasn’t expecting. This was great in an audiobook format, although a few chapters will probably just read better in normal book form based on format and structure of the stories. (If you’ve read it, you can probably guess which one.)
I’d really like to read more about her relationship with her son in the future, I think, because it seems like a relationship full of love but also with strain. She talks a lot about her past but I’d like to hear her thoughts on the future, too.
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Body shaming, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Physical abuse, and Racism
Moderate: Physical abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Infidelity, Medical trauma, and Xenophobia
Minor: Injury/Injury detail and Eating disorder
speedofhuman's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Sexual content, Physical abuse, and Child abuse
Moderate: Pregnancy, Fatphobia, Bullying, Sexual assault, Xenophobia, Sexual harassment, Body shaming, Sexism, Islamophobia, Sexual violence, and Racism
Minor: War, Pedophilia, and Police brutality
kleinekita's review against another edition
3.5
Graphic: Sexual content, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Body shaming, and Fatphobia
emoryscott's review against another edition
2.75
Graphic: Stalking, Child abuse, Biphobia, Blood, Body shaming, Excrement, Gore, Gun violence, Hate crime, Pregnancy, Rape, Slavery, Suicide, Injury/Injury detail, Sexism, Addiction, Body horror, Bullying, Cancer, Classism, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Antisemitism, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Ableism, Abortion, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Child death, Colonisation, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Eating disorder, Medical content, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Cultural appropriation, Cursing, Fatphobia, Grief, Homophobia, Infidelity, Islamophobia, Mass/school shootings, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, Genocide, Police brutality, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Religious bigotry, and Sexual harassment
Also, at times, it really seemed like the author was glorifying trauma and abuse. It was definitely a bit difficult to read as a survivor, but I can see how someone else may find this empowering.imrereads's review against another edition
3.0
I have conflicting thoughts. While there are some really wonderfully written and capturing sections, I felt over all that it didn't deliver what it advertised. It certainly isn't cross-country roadtrip the blurb promised.
My biggest issue is that it felt very fragmentes and not flowing together the way I would have wanted. It jumps very quickly from topic to topic, from childhood to adulthood, from serious to lighthearted. This made it hard for me to feel engaged in the narrarive. It's certainly a provocative memoir for better and for worse. At least personally I found several sections to be quite triggering to read, and I wish it didn't jump so quickly from topic to topic.
Still, I want to repeat that there are some really good and thought provoking sections. For example the chapter where she's at the airport in Isreal had me at the edge of my seat. I won't forget it easily!
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Islamophobia, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexual content, and Sexual assault
alylentz's review against another edition
4.0
Graphic: Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexism, Religious bigotry, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Violence, and Xenophobia
churameru's review against another edition
4.0
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Eating disorder and Sexual assault
maisierosereads's review against another edition
4.0
Love is an Ex-Country is a poignant memoir about Randa Jarrar's life and experiences as a fat, queer, Muslim Arab-American woman. She discusses childhood, marriage, sex, motherhood, her Muslim identity, kink, her white-passing privilege, and much more on a personal level; she also weaves in facts about, for instance, the occupation of Palestine and how that affects her as a Palestinian. This memoir is not always easy or comfortable to read, with explicit depictions of e.g. domestic abuse and sexual assault, but if you are able to read about these topics it is worth it.
There is a strong theme of travel throughout the book - with journeys around the USA with her dog as well as to multiple other countries - but I would not call it a travelogue, which seems to have caused some confusion for other viewers. I personally prefer memoirs-with-travel rather than travel-with-memories, so this did not bother me.
If you would like a taste of the style of this memoir, many of the chapters have previously been published as essays in various magazines. Randa has also written fiction, which I will definitely be looking into and reading in the future.
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Islamophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship