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myevergrowingbookshelf's review
4.0
I have always been a huge Spice Girls fan, I had the dolls, the bedding, that luminous green Spiceworld VHS tape. I LOVED them! So when I saw Mel B’s autobiography on Audible I had to get it!
Mel B really is brutally honest in this book. She’s open, she’s honest, she tells it all as it was, and it was hard. Not all of it obviously, but when things got bad for her, they really were bad. I had seen bits about her relationship with her ex husband on the news and social media before, but obviously, that’s always the whole truth. Whereas here, here we learn everything. It was heartbreaking to hear our lovely strong Scary Spice, one of the most confident celebrities out there, at her most vulnerable.
This audiobook had me hooked, I didn’t want to turn it off. Mel’s story was gripping, it was awful to hear just how her world was at points, but her amazing personality shone through from start to finish. There were also chapters written and read by her mum and daughter, which were so raw and showed how a abusive relationship affects so many more people than just the person in the relationship.
It was a tough read, but it also had some highlights in there too. I loved hearing about how close Mel was with her other Spice Girls outside of ‘the band’, just how much being a Spice Girl meant to her, how she truly loved seeing her fans and making music that meant something to people.
It’s hard to say I enjoyed this book when a lot of it was so brutal, but I did love having this insight to someone who was part of something that played a big part of my childhood (and let’s be honest, from there onwards).
Obviously with Mel’s past, there are serious trigger warnings for this book, especially about domestic abuse, but feel free to DM me if you want more information on that.
Mel B really is brutally honest in this book. She’s open, she’s honest, she tells it all as it was, and it was hard. Not all of it obviously, but when things got bad for her, they really were bad. I had seen bits about her relationship with her ex husband on the news and social media before, but obviously, that’s always the whole truth. Whereas here, here we learn everything. It was heartbreaking to hear our lovely strong Scary Spice, one of the most confident celebrities out there, at her most vulnerable.
This audiobook had me hooked, I didn’t want to turn it off. Mel’s story was gripping, it was awful to hear just how her world was at points, but her amazing personality shone through from start to finish. There were also chapters written and read by her mum and daughter, which were so raw and showed how a abusive relationship affects so many more people than just the person in the relationship.
It was a tough read, but it also had some highlights in there too. I loved hearing about how close Mel was with her other Spice Girls outside of ‘the band’, just how much being a Spice Girl meant to her, how she truly loved seeing her fans and making music that meant something to people.
It’s hard to say I enjoyed this book when a lot of it was so brutal, but I did love having this insight to someone who was part of something that played a big part of my childhood (and let’s be honest, from there onwards).
Obviously with Mel’s past, there are serious trigger warnings for this book, especially about domestic abuse, but feel free to DM me if you want more information on that.
shalisha's review
2.5
Hmmm this wasnt a great read for me. It wasnt terrible but it wasnt good either. I love that it was written in her voice, with her personality and that Melanie shared a lot about herself and referenced what was going on in her life at specific moments that you could hop on YouTube or Google for confirmation.
However, I hated how It jumped all over the place. One minute she's talking about her divorce, then when she was a child, then when she was a spice girl then back to present day - it got confusing.
This wasnt the type of book that you cant stop reading and dont want it to finish. Once it was done I was happy.
If it was written in a more cohesive way I would have enjoyed it more.
However, I hated how It jumped all over the place. One minute she's talking about her divorce, then when she was a child, then when she was a spice girl then back to present day - it got confusing.
This wasnt the type of book that you cant stop reading and dont want it to finish. Once it was done I was happy.
If it was written in a more cohesive way I would have enjoyed it more.
nataliect13's review
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Bullying, Cancer, Cursing, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Suicide attempt, and Violence
indoorg1rl's review
4.0
This book was appropriately titled. I was pleasantly surprised at how open and honest the stories were - it felt like reading Mel B's confessions and secrets.
I listened to the audiobook version, and it was a great experience. The narrator was someone very close to Mel B, and she managed to capture her voice really well. It did feel like hearing the words from Mel B herself. There were some chapters from her daughter and mother as well, and they did add to the book.
This was a great and enjoyable memoir.
I listened to the audiobook version, and it was a great experience. The narrator was someone very close to Mel B, and she managed to capture her voice really well. It did feel like hearing the words from Mel B herself. There were some chapters from her daughter and mother as well, and they did add to the book.
This was a great and enjoyable memoir.
sarabook's review
3.0
Mel B, Scary Spice, her of the leopard print catsuit and loud mouth, has certainly had a tough few years. I’d heard a lot of the rumours surrounding her infamous marriage breakdown to then husband Stephen Belafonte, and the rift with her family, but quite honestly I didn’t expect her to be quite so upfront about what really went on behind those closed doors for ten years. This really is brutally honest, and I admire the courage and strength that it must have taken for her to put this all to paper. The emotional abuse she had to deal with (and her children had to deal with) is awful, and you can feel that pain written in every word. At her worst she was a shell of her former self, locked in a battle with drugs and alcohol to try and block out her life.
This is a book primarily about Mel’s relationships with men. If you’re looking for memories of her time with the Spice Girls, this isn’t the book for you (although they are mentioned, and it’s a joy to read when they are). It’s squarely focused on all the men who’ve made an impact on her life, starting with her father, through to Jimmy her first husband, Eddie Murphy (the supposed ‘love of her life’) and, of course, Stephen. She discusses what she feels caused her to pick the worst kind of man imaginable, and also offers up that grain of hope that even if you are stuck in an abusive relationship there’s always a way out. It might take time - it took Mel an additional three years and the death of her father to finally leave Stephen for good, but it can be done.
At times I found the writing a little all over the place, and some sentences or paragraphs were repeated several times throughout the book (such as Mel reminiscing about when she bought her parents a house, which she explains no less than three times). There’s also no clear structure or timeline, going from that fateful night before the X Factor show when she tries to commit suicide, back to her childhood, Eddie, Stephen again, back to Jimmy etc. It feels chaotic, and this is a big reflection of Mel B herself who comes across as quite the whirlwind. Some focus would have helped however, as at times I struggled to get to grips with the timeframes.
A raw, sometimes difficult read, that I hope helps Mel deal with a truly traumatic time in her life. I hope she can finally accept herself, and find the peace she certainly deserves.
This is a book primarily about Mel’s relationships with men. If you’re looking for memories of her time with the Spice Girls, this isn’t the book for you (although they are mentioned, and it’s a joy to read when they are). It’s squarely focused on all the men who’ve made an impact on her life, starting with her father, through to Jimmy her first husband, Eddie Murphy (the supposed ‘love of her life’) and, of course, Stephen. She discusses what she feels caused her to pick the worst kind of man imaginable, and also offers up that grain of hope that even if you are stuck in an abusive relationship there’s always a way out. It might take time - it took Mel an additional three years and the death of her father to finally leave Stephen for good, but it can be done.
At times I found the writing a little all over the place, and some sentences or paragraphs were repeated several times throughout the book (such as Mel reminiscing about when she bought her parents a house, which she explains no less than three times). There’s also no clear structure or timeline, going from that fateful night before the X Factor show when she tries to commit suicide, back to her childhood, Eddie, Stephen again, back to Jimmy etc. It feels chaotic, and this is a big reflection of Mel B herself who comes across as quite the whirlwind. Some focus would have helped however, as at times I struggled to get to grips with the timeframes.
A raw, sometimes difficult read, that I hope helps Mel deal with a truly traumatic time in her life. I hope she can finally accept herself, and find the peace she certainly deserves.
v_nerdbooks's review
4.0
Mel B was always the very outspoken, ball-bashing one of the Spice Girls, if it needed saying, she was probably the one to say it, she gave no-shits about what people thought about her, and was very happy with this thank you very much!
Except this was really what she wanted people to see, she was actually a girl looking for love, mainly that of her father, he obviously loved her, but I think that she wanted to be shown how much she was loved, instead of being told that she wasn't going to amount to anything, or that she was just a nuisance.
Melanie doesn't hold back in this book, she is indeed Brutally Honest, she tells you about everything, from the drinking, to the drugs and more.
Her relationships with her friends, family and lovers are also included, including lots of old stories about how she got into the Spice Girls, and also about the man that she calls the love of her life, Eddie Murphy.
She also tells the story about her 10 year marriage to Stephen Belafonte (pronounced Steffan, cause he's a dick like that!)
At the beginning the relationship was good, but it was quick, they were married really early on in the relationship, and he started to more than a healthy interest in her work/friends/money etc. So much so, in the end he had full control of everything!
After a short time the abuse started, but as she explains it wasn't hitting straight away, it was verbal and emotional abuse, and it was done so subtly that she didn't even realise what it was.
It’s hard to see when you are in it (although it becomes horribly, blindingly obvious when you are out of it) that the emotional upset you feel with your partner doesn’t just exist between the two of you or in your bedroom. It is an energy that fills a house.
She was Gaslighted, mentally and emotionally abused, which finally led to physical abuse.
When you are reading the book, you find that it does jump around a bit, from past to present, Melanie admits to having ADHD which is why I think it does this, it doesn't seem to be in any sort of chronological order, it's like she thinks of something and has to get it down before she forgets it, and I loved that about it.
For 10 years this woman was beaten down to feeling like nothing, and even at one point tried to kill herself, she was self medicating with drink and drugs to stop these feelings, and for the whole time she felt like, and was told it was her fault- THIS IS ABUSE
Melanie is an incredibly brave woman to open up her life to show everyone, and I applaud her for this, it shows that abuse does not discriminate, old, young, rich or poor, it can effect anyone.
Mel tells her story, warts and all, and explains how, to those people that say "Why didn't you just leave?" that it isn't that easy, some people don't even realise that they are being abused.
There are 15 signs on the cover of the book, these are all RED FLAGS, it is incredibly important that people recognise these signs, and maybe, just maybe it will help, even just one person.
I think she is one HELL of a brave lady for doing this, and I hope that her and her family are super happy now 😘
🎧🎧 - Narration for the audio book was by Zaraah Abrahams who was fabulous, she sounds very much like Mel B when she speaks, so by the time it was halfway through, I had forgotten it was a different person narrating it.
15 Signs of Domestic Abuse:
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right.
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away.
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members.
4. Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs.
5. Controls every penny spent in the household.
6. Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses.
7. Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you.
8. Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do.
9. Prevents you from making your own decisions.
10. Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children.
11. Prevents you from working or attending school.
12. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets.
13. Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons.
14. Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortable with.
15. Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
If this is you, then don't be afraid to talk to someone about it, you are not alone, it is NOT YOUR FAULT, he doesn't have to hit you for it to be abuse #ThisIsNotLove #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou
Except this was really what she wanted people to see, she was actually a girl looking for love, mainly that of her father, he obviously loved her, but I think that she wanted to be shown how much she was loved, instead of being told that she wasn't going to amount to anything, or that she was just a nuisance.
Melanie doesn't hold back in this book, she is indeed Brutally Honest, she tells you about everything, from the drinking, to the drugs and more.
Her relationships with her friends, family and lovers are also included, including lots of old stories about how she got into the Spice Girls, and also about the man that she calls the love of her life, Eddie Murphy.
She also tells the story about her 10 year marriage to Stephen Belafonte (pronounced Steffan, cause he's a dick like that!)
At the beginning the relationship was good, but it was quick, they were married really early on in the relationship, and he started to more than a healthy interest in her work/friends/money etc. So much so, in the end he had full control of everything!
After a short time the abuse started, but as she explains it wasn't hitting straight away, it was verbal and emotional abuse, and it was done so subtly that she didn't even realise what it was.
It’s hard to see when you are in it (although it becomes horribly, blindingly obvious when you are out of it) that the emotional upset you feel with your partner doesn’t just exist between the two of you or in your bedroom. It is an energy that fills a house.
She was Gaslighted, mentally and emotionally abused, which finally led to physical abuse.
When you are reading the book, you find that it does jump around a bit, from past to present, Melanie admits to having ADHD which is why I think it does this, it doesn't seem to be in any sort of chronological order, it's like she thinks of something and has to get it down before she forgets it, and I loved that about it.
For 10 years this woman was beaten down to feeling like nothing, and even at one point tried to kill herself, she was self medicating with drink and drugs to stop these feelings, and for the whole time she felt like, and was told it was her fault- THIS IS ABUSE
Melanie is an incredibly brave woman to open up her life to show everyone, and I applaud her for this, it shows that abuse does not discriminate, old, young, rich or poor, it can effect anyone.
Mel tells her story, warts and all, and explains how, to those people that say "Why didn't you just leave?" that it isn't that easy, some people don't even realise that they are being abused.
There are 15 signs on the cover of the book, these are all RED FLAGS, it is incredibly important that people recognise these signs, and maybe, just maybe it will help, even just one person.
I think she is one HELL of a brave lady for doing this, and I hope that her and her family are super happy now 😘
🎧🎧 - Narration for the audio book was by Zaraah Abrahams who was fabulous, she sounds very much like Mel B when she speaks, so by the time it was halfway through, I had forgotten it was a different person narrating it.
15 Signs of Domestic Abuse:
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right.
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away.
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members.
4. Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs.
5. Controls every penny spent in the household.
6. Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses.
7. Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you.
8. Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do.
9. Prevents you from making your own decisions.
10. Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children.
11. Prevents you from working or attending school.
12. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets.
13. Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons.
14. Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortable with.
15. Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
If this is you, then don't be afraid to talk to someone about it, you are not alone, it is NOT YOUR FAULT, he doesn't have to hit you for it to be abuse #ThisIsNotLove #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou
sharonleavy's review
4.0
Mel B, Scary Spice, Loud Mouthed, Confident, In Charge, Girl Power - she comes across as untouchable, the epitome of a strong, powerful woman. So she would never be controlled or manipulated by a man, right? Wrong.
This memoir is a harrowing look at years of living in an abusive relationship - hiding in secrecy, in shame, in pain. Plastering on a brave face in public and cracking up behind closed doors. Mel is incredibly open and honest about how she coped - alcohol, drugs, sex. She bravely documents how she came to the point where she appeared on live Saturday Night TV covered in bruises - sending a very clear message to her husband at the time.
This is uncomfortable to read, for a few reasons. One is that someone very close to me had a similar experience with gaslighting and it's very painful to imagine how she was feeling. Secondly, this is so intimate and I feel like I don't have the right to know this much about someone - but, I can see how it would be both cathartic for Mel to say it all out loud and also helpful for other women going through the same. This isn't in chronological order, it jumps all over the place - a result, as Mel says, of her ADHD. She thinks of one story and goes off on a tangent to another - but it all comes together in the end. I respect her hugely for taking herself out of the relationship and seeking help, and I hope she is much happier now. I also thought it was incredibly courageous to include a chapter from her eldest daughter, Phoenix, about how the relationship affected her.
At the back of the book, Mel has included a list that a friend of hers gave her. She says she wants people to share it, so I'm including it here:
15 Signs of Domestic Abuse:
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right.
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away.
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members.
4. Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs.
5. Controls every penny spent in the household.
6. Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses.
7. Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you.
8. Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do.
9. Prevents you from making your own decisions.
10. Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children.
11. Prevents you from working or attending school.
12. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets.
13. Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons.
14. Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortabe with.
15. Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
If you recognise anything on that list, please don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't go through it on your own, you deserve better.
This memoir is a harrowing look at years of living in an abusive relationship - hiding in secrecy, in shame, in pain. Plastering on a brave face in public and cracking up behind closed doors. Mel is incredibly open and honest about how she coped - alcohol, drugs, sex. She bravely documents how she came to the point where she appeared on live Saturday Night TV covered in bruises - sending a very clear message to her husband at the time.
This is uncomfortable to read, for a few reasons. One is that someone very close to me had a similar experience with gaslighting and it's very painful to imagine how she was feeling. Secondly, this is so intimate and I feel like I don't have the right to know this much about someone - but, I can see how it would be both cathartic for Mel to say it all out loud and also helpful for other women going through the same. This isn't in chronological order, it jumps all over the place - a result, as Mel says, of her ADHD. She thinks of one story and goes off on a tangent to another - but it all comes together in the end. I respect her hugely for taking herself out of the relationship and seeking help, and I hope she is much happier now. I also thought it was incredibly courageous to include a chapter from her eldest daughter, Phoenix, about how the relationship affected her.
At the back of the book, Mel has included a list that a friend of hers gave her. She says she wants people to share it, so I'm including it here:
15 Signs of Domestic Abuse:
1. Tells you that you can never do anything right.
2. Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away.
3. Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members.
4. Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs.
5. Controls every penny spent in the household.
6. Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses.
7. Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you.
8. Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do.
9. Prevents you from making your own decisions.
10. Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children.
11. Prevents you from working or attending school.
12. Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets.
13. Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons.
14. Pressures you to have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually you're not comfortabe with.
15. Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol.
If you recognise anything on that list, please don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't go through it on your own, you deserve better.
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