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Reviews
Safety Skills for Asperger Women: How to Save a Perfectly Good Female Life by Liane Holliday Willey
summer_stirling's review against another edition
informative
fast-paced
3.0
Good book. More geared for younger women, but still has useful tips and information.
kjones31's review against another edition
2.0
2.5 stars. Long story of how I ended up reading this book, as I am not the target audience (women who have Asperger’s-related safety issues), but it was an intriguing read. Reminded me of a few of my former students and their frustrations and confusion navigating the neurotypical world. A couple of her suggestions felt overblown and paranoid to me, e.g., staying on the phone with hotel staff as you check under beds and in closets each time you get a new hotel room; not wearing your hair in a ponytail or braid while traveling because it’s easier to grab. The final chapter on spirit was also a bit lackluster. Apart from that, an interesting installation in the literature about life on the spectrum. I thought her metaphors were generally well-developed and helpful for explaining how Asperger's really feels.
Also, I loved how unapologetic she was about emphasizing that the dominant culture is not necessarily better; it's just something that a person with Asperger's should be prepared to navigate. As a corollary, just because something violates currently accepted social norms doesn't mean it's inherently wrong. My favorite passage from the book, hands down:
“I’m not sure why, but apparently [neurotypicals] are prone to think the following topics are not meant for casual discussion:
* political viewpoints
* personal fears and insecurities
* past interpersonal relationships
* religion
* personal finances
“Some even believe these topics should never be raised at functions of any kind. Too bad for me, because some of my most favorite obsessive interests are in the list, but I’m learning (after decades of offending people without meaning to) that I should avoid these topics unless someone brings them up and seems wholeheartedly interested in an open debate. But even then, I’ve made some past faux pas by not knowing when to end the debate and close the discussion. It’s clearly up to you to discuss whatever you like, but be warned these subjects stir up something in [neurotypical] people I can’t figure out.”
Also, I loved how unapologetic she was about emphasizing that the dominant culture is not necessarily better; it's just something that a person with Asperger's should be prepared to navigate. As a corollary, just because something violates currently accepted social norms doesn't mean it's inherently wrong. My favorite passage from the book, hands down:
“I’m not sure why, but apparently [neurotypicals] are prone to think the following topics are not meant for casual discussion:
* political viewpoints
* personal fears and insecurities
* past interpersonal relationships
* religion
* personal finances
“Some even believe these topics should never be raised at functions of any kind. Too bad for me, because some of my most favorite obsessive interests are in the list, but I’m learning (after decades of offending people without meaning to) that I should avoid these topics unless someone brings them up and seems wholeheartedly interested in an open debate. But even then, I’ve made some past faux pas by not knowing when to end the debate and close the discussion. It’s clearly up to you to discuss whatever you like, but be warned these subjects stir up something in [neurotypical] people I can’t figure out.”
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