Scan barcode
emiliehope1995's review against another edition
Sex drive is not a thing and we should stop referring to it as such because it has negative connotations for our society. I may go back to this book once I push past this element.
hannet's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
sad
slow-paced
3.0
jenhurst's review against another edition
I don’t feel comfortable rating this since I’m not asexual so I can’t speak on this book in that regard. It’s an own voices which makes me think it’s a good representation of at least the authors experience. There’s some reviewers who said it’s good for their experience, but I’d recommend looking at asexual reviews to see how good of representation it is. I found the book very well-written, enjoyable and I learned a lot about asexuality and what it means. I recommend this to anyone looking to learn more about asexuality and how sex plays into relationships.
spiffyname's review against another edition
Library book- had to be returned and due to finding a different fiction series particularly enthralling, this was forgotten.
chan_bean's review against another edition
4.0
Rounding up from a 3.5
I think it's a good intro to the concepts of asexuality. I was already familiar with a lot of ideas and terms in this book, and was hoping for something a little more in depth, but I don't think that's the purpose of this book, so I can't fault it for that. It did still introduce me to some new ideas and new ways of thinking about societal norms and concepts that I took for granted, and gave me more perspective on the ace community!
There were significant grammar/punctuation mistakes throughout, though, which was weird to me. Additionally, while I loved that Chen pulled from interviews with people in the ace community to emphasize her points, it got a little confusing at times when she'd reference somebody that was mentioned 50 pages prior, only identified by their name and their profession, and I couldn't remember their life story anymore at that point. In some ways, that made their testimonies a little less impactful. I think that it would have been more helpful and straightforward to present certain concepts and then tell the story of an interviewee, then use those previously established concepts as building blocks for later chapters.
Still, I'm glad this book exists and I think it's an important milestone for creating more recognition for and understanding of the ace community and the spectrum of asexuality.
I think it's a good intro to the concepts of asexuality. I was already familiar with a lot of ideas and terms in this book, and was hoping for something a little more in depth, but I don't think that's the purpose of this book, so I can't fault it for that. It did still introduce me to some new ideas and new ways of thinking about societal norms and concepts that I took for granted, and gave me more perspective on the ace community!
There were significant grammar/punctuation mistakes throughout, though, which was weird to me. Additionally, while I loved that Chen pulled from interviews with people in the ace community to emphasize her points, it got a little confusing at times when she'd reference somebody that was mentioned 50 pages prior, only identified by their name and their profession, and I couldn't remember their life story anymore at that point. In some ways, that made their testimonies a little less impactful. I think that it would have been more helpful and straightforward to present certain concepts and then tell the story of an interviewee, then use those previously established concepts as building blocks for later chapters.
Still, I'm glad this book exists and I think it's an important milestone for creating more recognition for and understanding of the ace community and the spectrum of asexuality.
mxunsmiley's review against another edition
1.0
I'm not going to bother going after everything I disliked about this book, but I will say that it greatly ignores the reality that the sex which is considered healthy is between people who are cisgender, heterosexual, white, and able-bodied. Even within marginalized communities, being cisgender and heterosexual is what's considered most acceptable. Many things which are framed as asexual experiences have a gigantic source in misogyny and racialized misogyny, and that is no coincidence because the pressure to have sex is mainly imposed on women; for men, that is a direct result of gender roles which they largely maintain and also impose.
There's also such vague terminology that I ultimately think it's useless in getting its point across. If it can change or be defined differently by various people, does it actually help? I think there was so much reaching to define sexual and romantic attraction when it just struck me as if she didn't know what she was talking about at all. This is why I disagree with her approach in defining things by their negatives--it ends up looking like grasping at straws.
Then I think she focused quite obsessively on aces who do have sex, rationalizing their behavior and identity. Asexual people can and do have sex for various reasons but I think the point she's trying to convey, that sex is not central to the human experience and it's necessary to do away with as an expectation, kind of falls flat because of that. The whole tone of the book was extremely insecure, conjuring strawmen to refute sometimes baffling arguments. The writing in general was irritating.
I think a much better book on asexuality needs to be written.
There's also such vague terminology that I ultimately think it's useless in getting its point across. If it can change or be defined differently by various people, does it actually help? I think there was so much reaching to define sexual and romantic attraction when it just struck me as if she didn't know what she was talking about at all. This is why I disagree with her approach in defining things by their negatives--it ends up looking like grasping at straws.
Then I think she focused quite obsessively on aces who do have sex, rationalizing their behavior and identity. Asexual people can and do have sex for various reasons but I think the point she's trying to convey, that sex is not central to the human experience and it's necessary to do away with as an expectation, kind of falls flat because of that. The whole tone of the book was extremely insecure, conjuring strawmen to refute sometimes baffling arguments. The writing in general was irritating.
I think a much better book on asexuality needs to be written.