Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill

15 reviews

eliya's review against another edition

adventurous inspiring mysterious tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

2.5

This was a promising read at first, I was so in to the concept and the analogy, but it got lost along the way. I wasn’t sure if dragoning / dragons were supposed to be feminine anger / female rage, or transness, or lesbianism, or just non-conformity in general? I think it may have been a combination of everything. 

I wanted to DNF a few times, listened to it on 2.0x just to get through lol. 

One thing that really threw me off, and this might be a little mean, was the voice actor. She read with a sorrowful whine that made me angry to listen to the whole time and was quite unpleasant. TBH that was also the way it was written, the main character’s POV was dull and repetitive. Alex’s attitude the whole times was “hear all these terrible things that have happened to me? :( feel so bad for me :(“ and “gotta remember this lie! do you remember it, audience?” and it make a caricature of women and girls who through this period went through similar stuff or worse. 

i believe this book would have been much more impactful if it had 
-been written from a POV of one of the women who had dragonned, 
-included more intersectionality instead of the brief like “people of color exist too! trans people AND black people dragoned” one offs here and there
-wrapped up to more modern take on how this history of misogyny has effected us today. the conclusion winds up being “we did it!! boy we suffered but now we don’t have to suffer anymore” when - um no - the work is not done people are still suffering in the same and different ways than in the 1950s. 

Its approach is very like “women sure did suffer in the 1950s” when it wasn’t just middle class housewives and their children who suffered, there were so many other people and cultures who sufferered more?? and the suffering is still happening?? 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Misogyny, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, and Biphobia

savshanae's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

If “Labour” by Paris Paloma was a book, this would be it. To be frank, I was enraged for most of it. I don’t even know if I would really recommend this book to someone, unless they were looking to be so full of feminine outrage they wanted to burst into flames. But if that is what you want, this book is it. 
The writing was emotional and painted vivid pictures (it was also wordy). Sometimes repetitive, but I think it adds to the story by the end. 
The self-expression and ideas that it inspired are challenging and thought provoking, and I really enjoyed that it is written to feel like you are being TOLD a story, someone’s thoughts and life experiences. 
This book made me very angry, made me cry (lots), made me want to stop reading it. But it’s definitely worth the read and the rage. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Gaslighting, Homophobia, Chronic illness, Classism, Emotional abuse, Grief, Death of parent, Misogyny, Toxic relationship, Cancer, Child abuse, Death, Bullying, Sexism, and Terminal illness

Moderate: Blood, Addiction, Alcoholism, and Alcohol

Minor: Violence, Fire/Fire injury, Drug abuse, Animal death, and Domestic abuse

scarlett_f's review against another edition

emotional hopeful inspiring mysterious sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Hate crime, Death, Grief, Abandonment, Emotional abuse, Lesbophobia, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Chronic illness, Homophobia, Cancer, Toxic relationship, Misogyny, and Outing

Moderate: Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Alcoholism, Biphobia, and Addiction

Minor: Sexual content, Cursing, Infidelity, Pregnancy, and Panic attacks/disorders

tiernanalexandria's review against another edition

adventurous challenging emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I think everyone can find something within the struggles of Alex, the main character, that they resonate with. It all felt very real and believable. 

A couple of times the book had me staring out of a window, wishing I too could become a dragon. 
The weight of chores on my shoulders become an aching for wings, the heat of the oven feeling like dragon warmth on my skin, and just wishing that I felt like something bigger than I actually am. 

I think women who deal with the social stigma and weight of societies pressures would enjoy this book the most, but it truly is for everyone. 
The weight of generational grievances is heavy, it’s almost like you hear your ancestors calling you to join them as a dragon too….. 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Abandonment, Cancer, Death of parent, Gaslighting, and Toxic relationship

victoria29's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

There were aspects that I enjoyed. Overall, I felt like it was heavy handed. People and situations were either good or bad with little nuance. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Cancer, Homophobia, Abandonment, Misogyny, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Death of parent

rachel101's review against another edition

dark emotional inspiring mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

This book was slow to start but definitely worth staying with, I was completely lost in it and couldn’t put it down…

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Content Warnings

Minor: Violence, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Cancer, Emotional abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Bullying, Death of parent, Grief, Infidelity, Misogyny, and Panic attacks/disorders

arwinadrea's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death of parent, Grief, Alcoholism, Toxic relationship, Abandonment, and Misogyny

Moderate: Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Alcoholism, Domestic abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic relationship, and Cancer

Minor: Lesbophobia, Dysphoria, and Outing

Cold War, Women's Lib, Toxic Patriarchy, and Traumatic Childhood meets hopeful coming of age magical realism!

mandi_lea's review against another edition

hopeful reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death of parent, Grief, Toxic relationship, Sexism, Misogyny, and Abandonment

Moderate: Cancer, Alcoholism, Fire/Fire injury, and Infidelity

cryfest's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful mysterious reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pandemic/Epidemic, Sexism, Death of parent, Grief, Fire/Fire injury, Terminal illness, and Abandonment

Moderate: Cancer, Emotional abuse, Body horror, Death of parent, Toxic relationship, Dysphoria, Fire/Fire injury, and Homophobia

percys_panda_pillow_pet's review against another edition

challenging emotional mysterious reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

This book gave me trauma, and I'm only half-joking. Okay, for real though, When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill cracked open a lot of feelings and thoughts I've had all my life and especially now as an adult as I try to explore exactly who I am in this world. This book is about identity, it is about trauma, it is about rage, it is about so much more than you can put into words. 

When Kelly Barnhill wants you to believe in something, she puts her whole soul into it. By the end of this book, I was convinced that dragoning was real, and wondering why I couldn't dragon myself away, or even if I could. I know at times her metaphor can fall apart at the seams, but that's honestly what helped ground it for me. These are dragons, these are women. Dragoning can mean everything and it can mean nothing, though the latter would be unusual. Pretty much every time, that meaning made me want to cry. Often, I did cry while reading this book. And after finishing it too. It struck a chord in me so forcefully: the depiction of female generational trauma and the mixing of rage and sadness and hurt and unfairness and love one can have for their mother. 

At times, I was a bit frustrated with Barnhill's decisions throughout the book. I needed a bit more about trans people and what dragoning meant for them, and I know I am not alone in feeling like the intersectional aspects of feminism were a bit lacking, though in some ways that seems par for the course of the 50s and 60s.  This book filled me with emptiness at the lack of catharsis in some areas. There was a lot of build up and not enough resolution for me at times. Which, in some ways, feels perfect for the messiness of life, that truthfully we don't often get the catharsis we need. But I disliked the hollowness and in the end, I felt dissatisfied and want to scream, "Why?" and "It isn't fair!"

Do not look to this book to heal you, it will wring you dry. I can't wait for the day I will reread this, and pick things apart more. And maybe by then I'll have actually settled on a star rating for this book. For now, I leave that empty. This book is too much for me now. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Misogyny, Cancer, Death of parent, Abandonment, Grief, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, Chronic illness, Terminal illness, and Sexism

Moderate: Sexual assault, Body shaming, Violence, Outing, Sexual harassment, Rape, Child abuse, and Confinement

Minor: Gun violence, Transphobia, Sexual violence, Murder, Alcohol, Alcoholism, War, and Drug use