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nxclx's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
No rating, because I don't rate non-fiction.
This was such a great memoir, and fantastic writing. I'm not even sure how to review it, other than it's so impactful, both from not relating to it (being white), as well as relating to it (being queer). This is something that I think everyone should read and will be able to take something away from and come out of it with a more empathetic heart. This book isn't just for black queer men, it's for everyone, and I loved it. Many thanks to the author for writing his story out and sharing it with the world. This book also drove home something I've been trying to figure out, and it clarified it for me: It's not the intention that matters; it's the impact.
Edit for my favorite quotes:
"We all deserve more than just the ability to exist."
"You sometimes don’t know you exist until you realize someone like you existed before."
"Symbolism gives folks hope. But I’ve come to learn that symbolism is a threat to actual change—it’s a chance for those in power to say, 'Look how far you have come' rather than admitting, 'Look how long we’ve stopped you from getting here.' "
"It’s important that, like everything else you grow to love in life, your name is something you appreciate as well."
"Love who you want to love, and do it unapologetically, including that face you see every day in the mirror."
"It's necessary that we do the work to unpack our shit. It's time for the world to let queer black boys unpack their shit. Smile black boys."
This was such a great memoir, and fantastic writing. I'm not even sure how to review it, other than it's so impactful, both from not relating to it (being white), as well as relating to it (being queer). This is something that I think everyone should read and will be able to take something away from and come out of it with a more empathetic heart. This book isn't just for black queer men, it's for everyone, and I loved it. Many thanks to the author for writing his story out and sharing it with the world. This book also drove home something I've been trying to figure out, and it clarified it for me: It's not the intention that matters; it's the impact.
Edit for my favorite quotes:
"We all deserve more than just the ability to exist."
"You sometimes don’t know you exist until you realize someone like you existed before."
"Symbolism gives folks hope. But I’ve come to learn that symbolism is a threat to actual change—it’s a chance for those in power to say, 'Look how far you have come' rather than admitting, 'Look how long we’ve stopped you from getting here.' "
"It’s important that, like everything else you grow to love in life, your name is something you appreciate as well."
"Love who you want to love, and do it unapologetically, including that face you see every day in the mirror."
"It's necessary that we do the work to unpack our shit. It's time for the world to let queer black boys unpack their shit. Smile black boys."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Incest, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Violence
Moderate: Cancer, Deadnaming, Death, and Homophobia
Minor: Dementia and Drug use
The author gives a lot of content warnings at the beginning, but it's not as comprehensive list as StoryGraph offers. He gives warnings for the very graphic content that this book holds, and is not meant to be taken lightly.
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