Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

Not My Problem by Ciara Smyth

52 reviews

beautifulpaxielreads's review against another edition

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emotional funny reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

OK, before I start this review, I've got a small confession to make: Ms Devlin is a sarcastic badass of a woman and every kid should have a teacher like her.

Confession over. Actually, no it's not, because I have to confess something else - I really, really enjoyed reading Not My Problem.

It's about facing your fears. Realising people can be so much more than the first impressions you have of them if you just dig a little deeper. And finally - in my view - it's about realising the value of kindness and compassion.

Aideen Cleary is probably the most well-rounded, three-dimensional main character I have read for some time.  She leapt off the page. Even though I sometimes felt frustrated with the decisions she made and the way she treated others, I could understand why she did so.

All the other characters were well-drawn too - aside from the lovely Ms Devlin, we were also introduced to Aideen's friends Meabh, Kavi, Holly, and Aideen's mum - Lisa, I think her name was? I really appreciated how Ciara Smyth wrote about the relationship between mother and daughter, it was beautiful and felt realistic.

The one thing I felt could have been developed more was why
Aideen felt attracted to Meabh
. But it might have been because I had a very stop-start relationship with reading this book so maybe there was something I missed.

Overall, Not My Problem is a beautifully, intelligently written book and I'm looking forward to reading more from Ciara Smyth.



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jenn_reads's review against another edition

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emotional funny fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5


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aliciapth's review against another edition

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funny medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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myreadingdream13's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0


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kingrosereads's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny lighthearted tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.75

I LOVE this book. 10 outta 10 would recommend! 

A cute sapphic coming-of-age YA dramedy that will have you laughing out loud (literally) and a little misty eyed. 

This book, as funny as it is, handles some serious themes like anxiety, alcoholism, emotional manipulation, neglect, food and financial insecurity, toxic relationship/friendship, and a child parenting their parent. 

Not My Problem is narrated by 16-year-old transition student, Aideen. Aideen isn’t the best student and she finds it hard to care about her education when she’s busy trying to keep social services from investigating her mom. Her mother is a recovering alcoholic and Aideen has made it her responsibly to ensure her mom stays sober so she can work and keep their flat and food in the house. Aideen attends a nice school that her father pays for (though it’s all he helps with), as a form of guilt or to ensure neither Aideen or her mother won’t out him to his wife and kids (yes, he cheated on his wife, mother of his 4 other children, and has a secret baby and sometimes mistress). Whenever her father comes back into their lives, Aideen is ready for the fallout when he leaves and her mother goes on a bender. 

Aideen only has one friend, Holly, who’s been her friend since primary school. Though Holly is much higher up in the school social ladder than Aideen (like much higher). People avoid Aideen, and she was outed before it was “cool” to be queer. Now, plenty of students, including popular ones, are out and proud. One day, top-of-their-class perfectionist, Meabh, is in desperate need of reprieve from her academic and extracurricular commitments. She’s afraid to quit something and look like a disappointment to her parents. So she convinces Aideen to push her down a flight of stairs so she’ll break her ankle and get out of sports and PE. Aideen does this reluctantly but is, unknowingly, witnessed by fellow student, Kavi. 

With Kavi’s “help” he finds other students for Aideen to help in return for favors. Eventually she’s helped half a dozen kids, while getting closer to Kavi and Meabh. She now had people who talk to her in school and save her seats. She’s realizing she’s helping other people with their problems, because she can’t solve her own. She also starts standing up for herself with Holly who doesn’t treat her well. And she realizes she’s developing feelings for Meabh, Holly’s academic rival. 

She carries on granting favors for favors until her father returns just to leave her mother broken hearted again. After missing more school and falling further behind to keep her mom from spiraling, and nearly losing her new friends, Aideen realizes she can’t keep doing everything on her own. 

Aideen is absolutely hilarious. I was getting a little bit of Derry Girls vibes while reading. I think the dynamic between her and Meabh is great and they balance each other out. The book does a great job of highlighting this concept of living inside you’re own bubble. I think as a kid you have this assumption that everyone lives similarly to the way you live. And of course, for some kids, this bubble bursts a little sooner than others. 

Kavi is so lovable. And there’s a few moments that he makes a comment on what it’s like for him as the only Irish-Indian student in school and Meabh had even brought up the lack of socioeconomic and ethnic diversity in their school and community, and services that would actually benefit these groups’ specific needs. Meabh even has to check her privilege a few times when Aideen points some things out for her. If I were to critique anything, it would’ve been a little more highlight on the issue of race for Kavi since he’s Aideen’s other new best friend and so many other problems of anxiety, depression, and strict-to-the-point-of-being-problematic parents are highlighted for the other characters. Especially since he was pretty much the only student with a healthy relationship with his parents and it seemed that being different was the one thing that bothered him. In general, the side characters were defined really well considering some only got a little time in the limelight. 

Holly and Aideen’s mom are the two most problematic relationships in Aideen’s life. Aideen constantly makes excuses or gives them the benefit of the doubt, even if they’ve proven time and time again that they’re unreliable and emotional manipulative, for fear of appearing to be needy or dramatic or a burden. I recognize that addiction is a disease but when children are parenting you and forfeiting their education and social life on top of it? Absolutely not. 

I really appreciated Ms. Devlin. She was funny and genuinely cared about Aideen. She even believes in Aideen. Though I hate the open-ended ending, I love that Aideen finally asks for help, and given how much the reader knows Ms. Devlin, there’s no doubt that she’ll go above and beyond to help Aideen. 

I related to both to Meabh and Aideen despite how different they are. I was the perfectionist, if-I-don’t-get-an-A-I’m-a-failure kind of student and I grew up in very low middle class. Picking the mold off bread still gives me nightmares. And I definitely got not wanting to be a burden to anyone and going so far as to letting people walk over me or making excuses for them. I think in a way you can relate to the characters in someway. 

I enjoy how subtle the romance was until the end. It wasn’t even a subplot or anything, but it was just nice and felt natural. I’m not a huge fan of the fact that the seriousness of Meabh hurting herself because of the pressure she’s under wasn’t really addressed. But overall, I think this book is great older teens. And anyone who needs validation and a good laugh. 

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kelsreadsthings's review against another edition

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emotional funny lighthearted medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

cw: neglectful parent

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courtneykingxo's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

i loved this book so much, the main protagonist, Aideen is likeable, funny, multi facaded, and relatable. i didn’t expect to find so much closure within this story. I adored the love story but the main stand out narrative for me was Aideen’s inner monologue throughout the novel on how other people treat her. Seeing her find her feet and find friends who support and love her felt so comforting. 

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krhe's review against another edition

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funny medium-paced
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Quiero muchísimo a Kavi. 

Aparte de eso, el libro ha estado muy bien. Me ha hecho llorar porque hay algunas cosas que llegan de cerca (y que, en general, son bastante duras, pongo los TW donde corresponden).

La protagonista tiene una voz narrativa muy característica y es muy graciosa y también tiene, a su peor enemigo en su propia cabeza. 

Me ha gustado mucho la representación de amistades jodidas de la adolescencia porque been there done that. 

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emily_reads_2021's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

Seeing this book on booktok only a handful of times, I didn't expect it to be as good as it was. The storytelling is amazing and each character had their own mini backstory which we get to hear about. 389 pages that are worth a read, with political outlets and real life struggles in teenagers are explored.

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hershelves's review

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funny lighthearted
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

5.0

This is a heartwarming and absolutely hilarious coming of age novel that you can finish reading in one sitting.
I bloody love this book! I fell more in love with the novel because of the characters, who are all AMAZING and I truly mean it when I say this book was hilarious! Of course, alongside my adorable Aideen, all the supporting characters are also incredibly endearing! Overall, I'm glad to say that my collection of 5-star books now includes one more title.

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