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kallania's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
This is not a LGBTQ book... I know what it says in the description but it's not. This is a wildly inaccurate representation of trans life no matter when it took place. (More on this later)
When it's says 'loosely based on a true story' it is an understatement. It is likely that the only things accurate to the story are the names and places involved (and I don't know enough to say even those are.)
While the Lili in real life was trans the character in this book suffers from a clothing fetish and a dissociative identity disorder (split personality)... the triggering event that begins Lili's story happens when her wife asks her to pose as a model in woman's clothes for her painting. The author blatantly writes the crossdressing in this book as if it were a fetish instead of a tool to embrace one's inner self... Their are several times within the book that when Gerda talks to or goes out with her husband Einar and later must recount the conversation/event to Lili because she wasn't 'present'... It is written in such a way that makes you feel like it is a Supernatural account of a ghost entering a person and slowly edging them out of their own being.. Einar and Lili have opposite personalities with different interests, mannerisms, etc... when one appears the other vanishes with no recollection of the time they were gone.
This is supposed to be a love story.. but their marriage isn't healthy.. Gerda completely goes along with the entire thing like it's completely normal and actually goes out of her way to encourage it. Now, if Einar had just said he feels like he has always been/felt like a woman and she had encouraged him/her to be herself I understand that.. but here he is acting like two separate people, has her tell him/her what the other half did because they have no memory and Gerda doesn't try to get him help or even worry about this?
This is not modern day.. and yet she goes with it.. encourages him to crossdress, go out socially with their friends as a female, flirt with guys that don't know their secret.. in the time period encouraging him/her to do these things would have been putting her husband at physical risk.. Einar becomes Lili with no thought as to how it might affect Einar's wife (because she is absolutely not Lili's wife).. and Gerda almost seems to use her husband's new personality for her own amusement...
The real Lili must have been a strong and confident woman to have come out in her time and have gender-affirming surgery... but the Lili in this book is weak, helpless, mentioned several times to be overly thin, pale, and feminine (before Lili becomes Lili).. She looks to her wife for guidance and encouragement every step of the way.. this is not the story of a woman who became part of trans history.
If you're looking for a fantastical tale of an abusive relationship and a man with a dissociative identity disorder in disguise of a romanticed trans transformation then this book is for you. If it's not and your actually interested in trans history please look up real information of the real Lili Elbe and not waste your time reading this very fictional inaccurate account.
When it's says 'loosely based on a true story' it is an understatement. It is likely that the only things accurate to the story are the names and places involved (and I don't know enough to say even those are.)
While the Lili in real life was trans the character in this book suffers from a clothing fetish and a dissociative identity disorder (split personality)... the triggering event that begins Lili's story happens when her wife asks her to pose as a model in woman's clothes for her painting. The author blatantly writes the crossdressing in this book as if it were a fetish instead of a tool to embrace one's inner self... Their are several times within the book that when Gerda talks to or goes out with her husband Einar and later must recount the conversation/event to Lili because she wasn't 'present'... It is written in such a way that makes you feel like it is a Supernatural account of a ghost entering a person and slowly edging them out of their own being.. Einar and Lili have opposite personalities with different interests, mannerisms, etc... when one appears the other vanishes with no recollection of the time they were gone.
This is supposed to be a love story.. but their marriage isn't healthy.. Gerda completely goes along with the entire thing like it's completely normal and actually goes out of her way to encourage it. Now, if Einar had just said he feels like he has always been/felt like a woman and she had encouraged him/her to be herself I understand that.. but here he is acting like two separate people, has her tell him/her what the other half did because they have no memory and Gerda doesn't try to get him help or even worry about this?
This is not modern day.. and yet she goes with it.. encourages him to crossdress, go out socially with their friends as a female, flirt with guys that don't know their secret.. in the time period encouraging him/her to do these things would have been putting her husband at physical risk.. Einar becomes Lili with no thought as to how it might affect Einar's wife (because she is absolutely not Lili's wife).. and Gerda almost seems to use her husband's new personality for her own amusement...
The real Lili must have been a strong and confident woman to have come out in her time and have gender-affirming surgery... but the Lili in this book is weak, helpless, mentioned several times to be overly thin, pale, and feminine (before Lili becomes Lili).. She looks to her wife for guidance and encouragement every step of the way.. this is not the story of a woman who became part of trans history.
If you're looking for a fantastical tale of an abusive relationship and a man with a dissociative identity disorder in disguise of a romanticed trans transformation then this book is for you. If it's not and your actually interested in trans history please look up real information of the real Lili Elbe and not waste your time reading this very fictional inaccurate account.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, and Dysphoria
cleo_clem_clementina's review
2.0
This book is loosely inspired by the lives of Danish painters Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegener and it could have been such a good book but I found it very boring and disappointing
angymarte's review against another edition
4.0
Devastating, beautiful and a necessary story to be told.
I watched the movie years ago before i knew it was an adaptation from a book, absolutely loved it and cried to it in a way that i haven’t cried with a lot of things.
The book gave me a refresh of the story in a beautiful way, it highlights so much more the love that Greta had for Einar/Lily, and the sacrifices she made for her ultimate happiness. Lili’s journey was as beautiful and devastating.
Really enjoyed it
I watched the movie years ago before i knew it was an adaptation from a book, absolutely loved it and cried to it in a way that i haven’t cried with a lot of things.
The book gave me a refresh of the story in a beautiful way, it highlights so much more the love that Greta had for Einar/Lily, and the sacrifices she made for her ultimate happiness. Lili’s journey was as beautiful and devastating.
Really enjoyed it
halaagmod's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.25
The prose is vivid and absolutely beautiful, but as far as conveying the lives and struggles of transgender people and their loved ones, it's lackluster at best and actively harmful and offensive in its portrayals at worst.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Homophobia, and Child abuse
Moderate: Forced institutionalization, Death, and Medical content
Minor: Miscarriage
hjmcqueerie's review
Couldn’t connect with the characters. Seemed highly romanticised.
susani_'s review against another edition
3.0
This was quite an extraordinary book who introduces us to Einar Wegener. He is a loving, sensitive and considerate husband. He is also, we come to understand, in ways subtle and extreme, a woman named Lili Elbe. From the moment when his wife Greta asks her husband for assistance to finish of a painting by asking him to put on stockings, the shoes and dress so she complete the painting we see a moment of change within Einar. ''A strange watery feeling was filling Einar as he stood on the lacquer trunk. . . . The dress was loose everywhere except in the sleeves, and he felt warm and submerged, as if dipping into a summer sea." At the moment when Greta says "Why don't we call you Lili''? as a reader we see that Lili has always been there.
As a wife Greta has unconditional love who would do anything for husband even if that means to let her husband go. Overall, I really enjoyed this book except the ending part which took a quite odd and absurd turn.
As a wife Greta has unconditional love who would do anything for husband even if that means to let her husband go. Overall, I really enjoyed this book except the ending part which took a quite odd and absurd turn.
michelereise's review against another edition
4.0
This is a difficult review to write. I loved the book but disliked the characters.
Reading this book was like reading Wuthering Heights. The writing was superb and as a reader I could appreciate the artistry of the way the author put the words together. However, I very much dislike the two main characters. Their personalities grated on me while their story intrigued me. The story is a sad and beautiful story that was well written. The characters however, for me, were so hard to like. I wanted to cheer for Lili and her transition from Einar but in the end I just saw a childish addict. I wanted to like Gerda and applaud her for her love and support of Einar and Lili, instead I found her to be self absorbed and controlling. I do recommend this book because it is beautifully written and a story worth knowing.
Reading this book was like reading Wuthering Heights. The writing was superb and as a reader I could appreciate the artistry of the way the author put the words together. However, I very much dislike the two main characters. Their personalities grated on me while their story intrigued me. The story is a sad and beautiful story that was well written. The characters however, for me, were so hard to like. I wanted to cheer for Lili and her transition from Einar but in the end I just saw a childish addict. I wanted to like Gerda and applaud her for her love and support of Einar and Lili, instead I found her to be self absorbed and controlling. I do recommend this book because it is beautifully written and a story worth knowing.
majkaem's review against another edition
4.0
Tento príbeh som videla prv v sfilmovanej verzii, takže bolo pre mňa veľmi ľahké vizualizovať si hlavné postavy, alebo prostredie v ktorom sa nachádzali.
Príbeh je inšpirovaný skutočným príbehom ale autobiografiu nečakajte. Ako nás aj samotný autor upozornil na konci knihy, veľa vecí bola fikcia, ale základ príbehu ostával nemenný.
Neviem si predstaviť, aké ťažké to muselo byť pre takého človeka ako bol Einar. Narodiť sa v 20 rokoch minulého storočia, narodiť sa do zlého tela a snažiť sa všetko prežiť.
Aj v dnešnej modernej dobe, má LGBTI+ komunita ťažkosti a nie každý ich prijíma s radosťou. Neviem si ani predstaviť aké to muselo byť v roku 1929.
Mojou obľúbenou postavou však bola Greta, Einarová manželka.
Od začiatku stála na strane svojho manžela a sledovala jeho premenu na Lili. Musela to byť neskutočne silná žena, že sa prizerala a podporovala svojho manžela v premene. Musela si v hlave poriadne rozmyslieť či jej je prednejšie vlastné šťastie a to, že nestratí manžela, alebo šťastie Lili, ktorá bola uväznená v tele Einara.
V knihe som sa dozvedela viac informácií ako vo filme a hlavne som sa mohla pozrieť aj do mysle samotných hlavných postáv.
Príbeh je inšpirovaný skutočným príbehom ale autobiografiu nečakajte. Ako nás aj samotný autor upozornil na konci knihy, veľa vecí bola fikcia, ale základ príbehu ostával nemenný.
Neviem si predstaviť, aké ťažké to muselo byť pre takého človeka ako bol Einar. Narodiť sa v 20 rokoch minulého storočia, narodiť sa do zlého tela a snažiť sa všetko prežiť.
Aj v dnešnej modernej dobe, má LGBTI+ komunita ťažkosti a nie každý ich prijíma s radosťou. Neviem si ani predstaviť aké to muselo byť v roku 1929.
Mojou obľúbenou postavou však bola Greta, Einarová manželka.
Od začiatku stála na strane svojho manžela a sledovala jeho premenu na Lili. Musela to byť neskutočne silná žena, že sa prizerala a podporovala svojho manžela v premene. Musela si v hlave poriadne rozmyslieť či jej je prednejšie vlastné šťastie a to, že nestratí manžela, alebo šťastie Lili, ktorá bola uväznená v tele Einara.
V knihe som sa dozvedela viac informácií ako vo filme a hlavne som sa mohla pozrieť aj do mysle samotných hlavných postáv.
amandaxhafaj's review
challenging
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
alittlelou's review
4.0
I adore this story so much. It's my comfort movie that I watch it all the time, and I've read this book twice now. Although the writing is a LITTLE hard to read, compared to the smoothness of the movie, I love this book. The book has more substance to it, and I wish the movie was a better representation of the book. Just like Call Me by Your Name by Andre Aciman, I think that reading this book and getting all of the details first, and truly understanding all the beauty in their story really only makes the movie better. This is definitely one of those stories. You 100% should read this book or watch this movie, but I think it would be worth your time to do both.