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Graphic: Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Violence, Islamophobia, Pregnancy, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Cursing, Blood, Grief
Minor: Drug use, Alcohol
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Islamophobia, Religious bigotry, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Rape, Toxic relationship, Blood, Murder, Pregnancy, War, Deportation
Minor: Death, Drug use, Genocide, Misogyny, Sexism, Slavery, Stalking, Abortion, Sexual harassment
Jarrar’s writing is also very crass and unapologetic, which I can respect, even if some parts made me uncomfortable. (Someone described this as a “weirdly Freudian memoir” and…yeah.😭)
I liked the latter half of the book more, when I thought she provided some food for thought that wasn’t present in the other chapters that mostly followed her sexual escapades. (I think some of my favorite chapters were with her father, and Jarrar figuring out how to live in a time when her father different from the person who traumatized her in childhood.)There’s also more of an explanation for why she placed those chapters in-between some pretty serious ones with recollections of abuse that were difficult to read about.
Torn as to whether to recommend this or not because it truly depends on the kind of reader you are, I see a people not minding the structure and others finding this self-indulgent. I didn’t love this memoir to be honest, I actually liked it(mostly for the second half), save for a couple elements I had mixed feelings on. I’ll definitely look more into Tahiya Carioca/Taheyya Kariokka(how did I not know about her before???), and probably check out Jarrar’s debut novel, too.
Graphic: Child abuse, Fatphobia, Sexual content, Toxic relationship
Moderate: Infidelity, Islamophobia, Pregnancy
I also just especially do not like to rate memoirs, as I am a fervent believer in everyone being able to share their stories. I listened to the audiobook (thank you Libby!) and it was about ~5 hours, so it kept me company on my 5 hour flight hehe.
Randa Jarrar's narration in the audiobook was phenomenal - she was dry, cutting, and vulgar without abandon. Randa is a fat, queer, Arab American who refuses to apologize for who she is, and I applaud her. This book covered stories ranging from her childhood to now, covering the abuse she endured, not only by her family, but by romantic and sexual partners. She also describes the rampant fatphobia, xenophobia, racism, and doxxing she experienced by being so outspoken and uncensored in her thoughts on American politics especially. It all rang so familiar to me, not because I share identities with RJ (I'm not Arab, not Muslim, not fat), but mostly because it certainly seems as if most folks are perpetually trying to knock femmes down a peg, to "remember their place" so to speak.
I appreciate that Randa Jarrar spoke so boldly and honestly about her life, and am grateful to have read through her reflections. Some were incredibly graphic and uncomfortable, but I hope she found some solace and peace in sharing this all with the world.
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Sexual content, Vomit, Medical content
Moderate: Bullying, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Racism, Sexism, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, War
She speaks candidly about racism and fatphobia that she experiences from stragers, but also violence from her parents as a child and partners as an adult. The violence of a homeland she can no longer visit and of a home that was too hostile to return to. She also speaks of the relationships and small interactions that have facilitated he healing, from the kindness of strangers to reconciliation, to entering the world of kink.
This was well-written and engaging. I listened to the audiobook over the course of just a couple of days.
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Xenophobia, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Abortion
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Pregnancy
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Cursing, Drug use, Fatphobia, Misogyny, Racism, Sexism, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Cancer, Chronic illness, Emotional abuse, Genocide, Gun violence, Infidelity, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Violence, Blood, Excrement, Grief, Mass/school shootings, Car accident, Abortion, Death of parent, Colonisation, War, Deportation, Pandemic/Epidemic
Graphic: Sexual content, Sexual violence
Moderate: Emotional abuse
Minor: Infidelity, Sexism, Islamophobia, Pregnancy
I love how open Jarrar is about her life and her relationship with her parents and her cultures. I also think I gained a much better understanding of BDSM culture from this book, which I definitely wasn’t expecting. This was great in an audiobook format, although a few chapters will probably just read better in normal book form based on format and structure of the stories. (If you’ve read it, you can probably guess which one.)
I’d really like to read more about her relationship with her son in the future, I think, because it seems like a relationship full of love but also with strain. She talks a lot about her past but I’d like to hear her thoughts on the future, too.
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexual content, Toxic relationship
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Xenophobia, Medical trauma
Minor: Eating disorder, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Biphobia, Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Genocide, Gore, Gun violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Slavery, Suicide, Blood, Excrement, Police brutality, Antisemitism, Islamophobia, Medical content, Grief, Mass/school shootings, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Stalking, Abortion, Pregnancy, Cultural appropriation, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Colonisation, Injury/Injury detail, Classism
Graphic: Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Violence, Xenophobia, Religious bigotry