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Well I think a bit of context is due to how I came about this book. It was 6am at an after party, everyone asleep, me having drunk way too much coffee and unable to sleep, my phone was nearly dead, so this was the only pass time until everyone else woke up. This was the only book in sight, finished it in 3hrs.
I didn't expect much from it, at most I thought that I would get a few laughs out of it, which to be fair, I did, but I don't think it was for the reasons the author intended.
This book will have you change your behavior in order to fit a preset bunch of societal rules that the author had in mind when writing. The author doesn't really take into account that we don't live in the 20th century anymore, and while some of the advice he gives is pertinent, most of it comes off as really outdated. Harvey sees all men as being the same, all of them being after three things: support, loyalty and sex. Which like, yea man, sure, we all know by now that men like sex, but I mean, it's not just them anymore, it's now socially acceptable for women to admit that they like sex as well and that the fact that they like sex does not mean that they have questionable morals. What was "tf you mean boi" to me was the part where Harvey talks about men cheating. So a man will cheat just because he can, and what's more, it's your fault as a woman because he cheats, because you didn't agree to have enough sex.... Well, I mean, that's insulting all around, it makes men seem like neanderthals and implies that women should just have sex whenever their lover wants. Like, dude, no.
The gender stereotypes are out of this world. Women are supposed to make all of the effort and treat men like kids (which granted, they are sometimes). But do I really need a guy telling me how to play my role as a woman in society? I'm supposed to cook, give up my career, not have any male friends, let him pay for everything, not fix anything around the house, wear lingerie when I go to sleep, let him protect me always and give up any activity that renders him unable to be there to protect me, have sex whenever he wants to. Sooooo, basically we're ignoring any progress from the past 70 years, cool cool cool.
Now, there are some good parts. Harvey basically tells women to have standards and respect themselves and then they will attract suitable husbands. Which yes, have standards, stick to your principles, not just when it comes to men. I'm really not an expert when it comes to relationships, but Harvey isn't either.
So if you want a book that tells you what to do and how to behave in order to get the sort of relationship that Harvey has with his wife, this book is for you. If you want to get actual advice on relationships, i don't know, go to therapy, or try Matthew Hussey, he's not perfect either, but his advice is way more nuanced and actually feels like he's just looking out for us in the best way.
I didn't expect much from it, at most I thought that I would get a few laughs out of it, which to be fair, I did, but I don't think it was for the reasons the author intended.
This book will have you change your behavior in order to fit a preset bunch of societal rules that the author had in mind when writing. The author doesn't really take into account that we don't live in the 20th century anymore, and while some of the advice he gives is pertinent, most of it comes off as really outdated. Harvey sees all men as being the same, all of them being after three things: support, loyalty and sex. Which like, yea man, sure, we all know by now that men like sex, but I mean, it's not just them anymore, it's now socially acceptable for women to admit that they like sex as well and that the fact that they like sex does not mean that they have questionable morals. What was "tf you mean boi" to me was the part where Harvey talks about men cheating. So a man will cheat just because he can, and what's more, it's your fault as a woman because he cheats, because you didn't agree to have enough sex.... Well, I mean, that's insulting all around, it makes men seem like neanderthals and implies that women should just have sex whenever their lover wants. Like, dude, no.
The gender stereotypes are out of this world. Women are supposed to make all of the effort and treat men like kids (which granted, they are sometimes). But do I really need a guy telling me how to play my role as a woman in society? I'm supposed to cook, give up my career, not have any male friends, let him pay for everything, not fix anything around the house, wear lingerie when I go to sleep, let him protect me always and give up any activity that renders him unable to be there to protect me, have sex whenever he wants to. Sooooo, basically we're ignoring any progress from the past 70 years, cool cool cool.
Now, there are some good parts. Harvey basically tells women to have standards and respect themselves and then they will attract suitable husbands. Which yes, have standards, stick to your principles, not just when it comes to men. I'm really not an expert when it comes to relationships, but Harvey isn't either.
So if you want a book that tells you what to do and how to behave in order to get the sort of relationship that Harvey has with his wife, this book is for you. If you want to get actual advice on relationships, i don't know, go to therapy, or try Matthew Hussey, he's not perfect either, but his advice is way more nuanced and actually feels like he's just looking out for us in the best way.
Speaking as a man, and from the the male perspective, this book has problems.
- The Title
Is Harvey telling women they need to act like a lady and think like a man? Or is he telling everyone to act like a lady? Given the rest of the book it is the former and a man telling a woman how to act is problematic.
- Chapter One
According to Harvey men are simple. If Harvey is saying this because he is a simple man then he can't comprehend a complex man. If Harvey is actually complex then he is lying.
- Chapter Two
According to Harvey nobody loves more than a woman. If he has the ability to directly compare the love in his heart compared to that of the love in a woman's heart then he should be teaching mind reading. If he doesn't actually know then he should look in to Elizabeth Bathroy, Ma Barker, Mary Tudor, or Aileen Wuornos. These are women a little lacking in the love department.
- Chapter's Three
This is the chapter where Harvey tells me I am not a man. I must not be a man because I will vent to my wife when I need to. I must not be a man because I respect my wife enough to know that if she wants advice she will ask for it and otherwise I should listen. Harvey should also read The Five Love Languages, it seems like the type of pop-psychology that might interest him. If, and it is a capitalized IF he would actually listen to someone else's opinion.
- Chapter Four
Who am I kidding? This is where I decided to not to finish and that the book wasn't worth my time.
- Summary
This is a book giving relationship advice that was written by a man on his third marriage. This is a book giving relationship advice that was written by a man who has cheated on his spouse. A book that blames a man's cheating on his partner. That's problematic.
- The Title
Is Harvey telling women they need to act like a lady and think like a man? Or is he telling everyone to act like a lady? Given the rest of the book it is the former and a man telling a woman how to act is problematic.
- Chapter One
According to Harvey men are simple. If Harvey is saying this because he is a simple man then he can't comprehend a complex man. If Harvey is actually complex then he is lying.
- Chapter Two
According to Harvey nobody loves more than a woman. If he has the ability to directly compare the love in his heart compared to that of the love in a woman's heart then he should be teaching mind reading. If he doesn't actually know then he should look in to Elizabeth Bathroy, Ma Barker, Mary Tudor, or Aileen Wuornos. These are women a little lacking in the love department.
- Chapter's Three
This is the chapter where Harvey tells me I am not a man. I must not be a man because I will vent to my wife when I need to. I must not be a man because I respect my wife enough to know that if she wants advice she will ask for it and otherwise I should listen. Harvey should also read The Five Love Languages, it seems like the type of pop-psychology that might interest him. If, and it is a capitalized IF he would actually listen to someone else's opinion.
- Chapter Four
Who am I kidding? This is where I decided to not to finish and that the book wasn't worth my time.
- Summary
This is a book giving relationship advice that was written by a man on his third marriage. This is a book giving relationship advice that was written by a man who has cheated on his spouse. A book that blames a man's cheating on his partner. That's problematic.
Very honest talk about how men are and how women are. Very comical at times, I laughed out loud. The thing I found very helpful: the differences between how men show their love and how we as women show love. Read it in one day. Easy read.
Điểm trừ to đùng đầu tiên chính là bìa sách thật kì cục, bố cục cũng không ổn, tên sách cũng không nổi bật trên bìa.
Cuốn sách đọc khá vui, nhưng với mình thì nó hơi phiến diện. Đúng nó khắc họa về cách nghĩ của đàn ông, về thế giới quan mà họ sáng tạo ra cho mình, nhưng nó viết chỉ từ một phía. Hình ảnh người phụ nữ trong cuốn sách này không thực sự được đề cập đúng như bản chất con người họ.
Cuốn sách hợp cho những người đã trải qua vài cuộc tình nhưng vẫn chưa thực sự hiểu được điều mình muốn hay cần trong tình yêu. Nhưng mà không phải là cứ đọc sách sẽ bù được vào phần trống đấy đâu.
Có nhiều phân đoạn khiến mình không đồng ý nhưng vẫn đọc đến cuối vì mong muốn "thoát khỏi vùng an toàn của bản thân" - trải nghiệm những cuốn sách mới.
Cuốn sách đọc khá vui, nhưng với mình thì nó hơi phiến diện. Đúng nó khắc họa về cách nghĩ của đàn ông, về thế giới quan mà họ sáng tạo ra cho mình, nhưng nó viết chỉ từ một phía. Hình ảnh người phụ nữ trong cuốn sách này không thực sự được đề cập đúng như bản chất con người họ.
Cuốn sách hợp cho những người đã trải qua vài cuộc tình nhưng vẫn chưa thực sự hiểu được điều mình muốn hay cần trong tình yêu. Nhưng mà không phải là cứ đọc sách sẽ bù được vào phần trống đấy đâu.
Có nhiều phân đoạn khiến mình không đồng ý nhưng vẫn đọc đến cuối vì mong muốn "thoát khỏi vùng an toàn của bản thân" - trải nghiệm những cuốn sách mới.
Pretty funny, mildly entertaining. Do I agree with everything in this book? Not by a long shot. I'm a firm believer in "the cookie" staying in the cookie jar until the honeymoon. I don't think 90 days is the "let's do this!" time, and I don't believe that every man fits into this cozy little box Steve Harvey has created. I do agree with his three basic points that most men want to provide, protect, and profess. Not a horrible book but not a relationship Bible either.
I usually love Steve Harvey's comedy and I thought I would love this book also but it left me with very mixed feelings. Parts of it contained good advice delivered in his fun way of delivery but other parts struck a surprisingly sexist tone with me that I just didn't find fun or to be a helpful. I am sure that is not the way he would of intended for any part of this book to be interpreted but it was the way I was left feeling at the end of it. #actlikealadythinklikeaman #steveharvey #tea_sipping_bookworm #litsy #goodreads #amazon#kindle #bookqueen
This book was not only very entertaining but also very informative, many things were eye openers and now its time to take everything Steve Harvey has taught me and put it into place.
I wish I'd read this years ago! great practical advice from the mindset of men for women in relationships, hoping to be in relationships, or that have ever even dealt with men. I'd highly recommend it.
I like Steve Harvey, but did not care for this book. Meh.