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4.27 AVERAGE
4.27 AVERAGE
I feel like a lot of reviews are leaving out how *funny* and readable this book is. Yes the subject matter is very dark and the trigger warnings are all necessary. But, there is one single footnote in the whole book, it shows up on page 181, and it is just two words to note that a prison officer who hasn't been mentioned before is "A bitch." I thoroughly enjoyed my time spent reading this, it made me both think *and* laugh, and I highly recommend it (subject to trigger warnings of eating disorders, drug addiction, sexual assault, and incarceration).
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
dark
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Confinement, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Forced institutionalization, Vomit, Suicide attempt
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
some housekeeping before i begin this review: I just launched a book account on instagram! go follow @theliteraryfool for more reviews like these/aesthetic content(?)/other book related posts!!!
when this book came out i saw a post from the author on twitter that included the first page of the memoir which totally intrigued me! i added it to my want-to-read and finally got around to it the past couple of days as I am trying to read some addiction memoirs this month (prozac nation, and how to murder your life coming next fyi). the first chapter of this book was an absolute banger. Keri was a senior at Cornell, just about to graduate, when she gets caught with 6 grams of heroin on her. She is arrested and has to serve a two-year prison sentence. The memoir starts with this moment, then continues in future chapters with the things that led up to her arrest, her time in prison, then her life afterwards.
While there were parts of this book that were phenomenal and I learned so much about the prison system while reading, I cannot give 5 stars because of how boring the chapters at the beginning were about her growing up as a competitive ice skater. Legit almost stopped reading because I felt like I was just wasting my time. I think the biggest thing I struggled with at the beginning of this book is that while she explains well the path that led her to the arrest (drugs, homelessness, unsafe prostitution etc.) she tries to attribute it to the fact that she grew up as a really competitive ice skater, on track to potentially make the olympics, and then once ice skating stopped she gave into these vices and self-destructive behaviors. But really these self-destructive patterns started while she was still ice skating and the reason she stopped ice skating was pretty much in her control: she just quit one day. So basically, I just felt like the way she framed her story and how she ended up using was not very well written.
I mean in general, I honestly did not really like her writing at all. There were some moments of good prose: "But some were smaller and more specific: highlighters, mint ice cream, my favorite punk rock playlist. It's hard to explain how much these things matter--because often they dont, not individually, not in the moment. It's when you multiply them by days and weeks that they begin to hurt." But other than that, a lot of her descriptions of things i just did not vibe with! A lot of her background is in journalism and I understand how her writing can excel at that, but it just didn't always work for me here. But I have to give this book a high rating still because like, reading all the things in her life that happened I am so impressed that this book even exists!!!
Also, she just kind of glossed over the fact that one time her boyfriend sexually assaulted her friend and she just like kind of ignored at the time because she was too high to deal with it, and just all together let her boyfriend get away with it because if they broke up she would lose access to drugs. Which like I understand that she was struggling with addiction, and i could be wrong on this, but I thought the whole reason drugs are not a defense for committing other crimes is because they only lower your inhibitions they don't change your moral code???
The chapters in jail and prison were really interesting and I learned so much about the corruption that pervades our current prison system. The security guards are fucking awful to all the prisoners in ways that I just did not imagine they could be honestly. like one of the things is that you could be punished if someone else is violent towards you i.e. having a black eye because you were punched in the face is used as evidence of fighting, so often the person who was beat up gets sent to solitary confinement whereas the person that beat them up receives no punishment. and that's barely the worst of it!
she briefly mentions how most prisoners, even if they were married or in relationships in the outside world, had a prison girlfriend. "gay for the stay, straight at the gate" is the slogan they used. from a queer theory perspective I really wonder if anyone has ever studied this. like what does this say about the nature of human sexuality?? also these relationships are often defined as having one femme and one AG (aggressor) as they call it. and the aggressor is typically more butch presenting but also will use he/him pronouns in the prison, but not in their life outside of prison, and since the narrator had short hair during her stay people assumed she was the AG of her prison relationship and just started referring to her with he/him pronouns. super interesting.
anyway, after she gets out of prison she is on probation for a while which also sounds really difficult too, and like a miniature version of being incarcerated. there is a happy ending for Keri when Cornell accepts her back in as a student, she graduates, and begins a successful career as a journalist reporting many stories about the corruption of prisons. super inspiring!
when this book came out i saw a post from the author on twitter that included the first page of the memoir which totally intrigued me! i added it to my want-to-read and finally got around to it the past couple of days as I am trying to read some addiction memoirs this month (prozac nation, and how to murder your life coming next fyi). the first chapter of this book was an absolute banger. Keri was a senior at Cornell, just about to graduate, when she gets caught with 6 grams of heroin on her. She is arrested and has to serve a two-year prison sentence. The memoir starts with this moment, then continues in future chapters with the things that led up to her arrest, her time in prison, then her life afterwards.
While there were parts of this book that were phenomenal and I learned so much about the prison system while reading, I cannot give 5 stars because of how boring the chapters at the beginning were about her growing up as a competitive ice skater. Legit almost stopped reading because I felt like I was just wasting my time. I think the biggest thing I struggled with at the beginning of this book is that while she explains well the path that led her to the arrest (drugs, homelessness, unsafe prostitution etc.) she tries to attribute it to the fact that she grew up as a really competitive ice skater, on track to potentially make the olympics, and then once ice skating stopped she gave into these vices and self-destructive behaviors. But really these self-destructive patterns started while she was still ice skating and the reason she stopped ice skating was pretty much in her control: she just quit one day. So basically, I just felt like the way she framed her story and how she ended up using was not very well written.
I mean in general, I honestly did not really like her writing at all. There were some moments of good prose: "But some were smaller and more specific: highlighters, mint ice cream, my favorite punk rock playlist. It's hard to explain how much these things matter--because often they dont, not individually, not in the moment. It's when you multiply them by days and weeks that they begin to hurt." But other than that, a lot of her descriptions of things i just did not vibe with! A lot of her background is in journalism and I understand how her writing can excel at that, but it just didn't always work for me here. But I have to give this book a high rating still because like, reading all the things in her life that happened I am so impressed that this book even exists!!!
Also, she just kind of glossed over the fact that one time her boyfriend sexually assaulted her friend and she just like kind of ignored at the time because she was too high to deal with it, and just all together let her boyfriend get away with it because if they broke up she would lose access to drugs. Which like I understand that she was struggling with addiction, and i could be wrong on this, but I thought the whole reason drugs are not a defense for committing other crimes is because they only lower your inhibitions they don't change your moral code???
The chapters in jail and prison were really interesting and I learned so much about the corruption that pervades our current prison system. The security guards are fucking awful to all the prisoners in ways that I just did not imagine they could be honestly. like one of the things is that you could be punished if someone else is violent towards you i.e. having a black eye because you were punched in the face is used as evidence of fighting, so often the person who was beat up gets sent to solitary confinement whereas the person that beat them up receives no punishment. and that's barely the worst of it!
she briefly mentions how most prisoners, even if they were married or in relationships in the outside world, had a prison girlfriend. "gay for the stay, straight at the gate" is the slogan they used. from a queer theory perspective I really wonder if anyone has ever studied this. like what does this say about the nature of human sexuality?? also these relationships are often defined as having one femme and one AG (aggressor) as they call it. and the aggressor is typically more butch presenting but also will use he/him pronouns in the prison, but not in their life outside of prison, and since the narrator had short hair during her stay people assumed she was the AG of her prison relationship and just started referring to her with he/him pronouns. super interesting.
anyway, after she gets out of prison she is on probation for a while which also sounds really difficult too, and like a miniature version of being incarcerated. there is a happy ending for Keri when Cornell accepts her back in as a student, she graduates, and begins a successful career as a journalist reporting many stories about the corruption of prisons. super inspiring!
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
sad
tense
fast-paced
Wow! I haven’t read a book this captivating in such a long time. I didn’t want to ever put it down and I was so sad when I finished the last page.
Keri’s story is difficult and sad and confusing but so inspiring and beautiful. Her reflections on childhood, drug addiction, jail and prison, and reporting after her release are all so incredibly documented. The entire book felt like an eloquent poem.
The data and contextual information Keri adds about the prison system at large throughout her storytelling just makes the book so much stronger. Her mix of first-hand experiences, stores through interviews and conversations, and hard data makes for such a well-rounded understanding of the prison system in the U.S.
Everyone needs to read this one. I already want to pick it up again.
Keri’s story is difficult and sad and confusing but so inspiring and beautiful. Her reflections on childhood, drug addiction, jail and prison, and reporting after her release are all so incredibly documented. The entire book felt like an eloquent poem.
The data and contextual information Keri adds about the prison system at large throughout her storytelling just makes the book so much stronger. Her mix of first-hand experiences, stores through interviews and conversations, and hard data makes for such a well-rounded understanding of the prison system in the U.S.
Everyone needs to read this one. I already want to pick it up again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Vomit, Police brutality, Suicide attempt, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Classism, Pandemic/Epidemic
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
This memoir is truly something else. Even for people with a genuine understanding of the reality of addiction & incarceration, this is an important read. The way Blakinger takes the reader through her childhood into her bleak experience with addiction, into incarceration & recovery, then re-entry is smooth, emotional, chilling and provides an effective level of detail to get the BIG picture. It feels natural connecting to Blakinger from the beginning. Even knowing how it shakes out, it still feels like a very close call that she’s out there doing what she does: advocating, educating, and partaking in the demolition of the cj system in America. We’re lucky to have Keri.
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Confinement, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Self harm, Suicide attempt