Reviews

Black Colossus by Robert E. Howard, Ned Dameron

duffypratt's review against another edition

adventurous fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

1.75

Easily my least favorite Conan story, or Robert E Howard story, so far.  I just found it dull.  At the start, Conan is a relatively unknown, brutish mercenary.  A princess selects him to lead her army against a powerful sorcerer and his superior army.  Guess who wins?  And in between?  For me, it was some beautiful, intricate descriptions without much of interest going on.  That said, I generally find large battles to be boring in fiction.

mrwizard1234's review against another edition

adventurous dark tense fast-paced

• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.25

arbaazk1999's review against another edition

adventurous dark tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.5

jonathanrobert's review against another edition

adventurous dark fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.0

arg0487's review against another edition

adventurous dark tense fast-paced

3.5

akemi_666's review

3.0

I've come to realise that dark fantasy books like The Black Company or The Last Wish were not simply a reaction to the high fantasy of The Lord of the Rings, but also a resurrection of Conan-styled narratives about mercenaries. There's a pragmatism and pessimism to these stories. Under the grand sweep of kingdom politics, the little people are crushed. Only through instrumentalising himself does Conan survive. In fact, he revels in it.

It's kind of terrifying. Like many dark fantasy protagonists, he's a victim of trauma (born out of war), forced to survive in a harsh world (as thief, pirate, mercenary). Howard lived through an oil boom, seeing the worst excesses of capitalism tear apart his home town. Glen Cook, the author of The Black Company, was in the military during the Cold War. Is it any wonder a certain isolation enshrouds their protagonists, caught in the senseless machinations of unencounterable political forces, bereft of emotional support and love?

glace's review against another edition

4.0

Elements of desperation. Situations where nobles have to heed the word of a barbarian. An ancient evil king torments a beautiful reagent in her dreams. This was a fun read, and it's good for what it is.

sarah42783's review

3.0

Actual rating: 3.32568 stars

My crappy non-review for The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian is imploding! I exhausted all my character allowance! So now I have to resort to crappily non-review all the stories in the collection separately! Go me and stuff!



You know you’re in for a teensy lit bit of a disappointment when your Cimmerian Paramour isn’t wearing his signature loincloth from the get-go. (Could be that Bêlit—aka the Most Titillating Queen of the Black Coast—is behind on the washing or that all my boyfriend’s loincloths were irremediably damaged the last time he was off crushing skulls, I can’t say for sure. I sent Fleet Admiral DaShrimp to investigate and am still awaiting his report on this most troubling occurrence.) Well I guess I shouldn’t complain since my Bubbly Barbarian is still hot as fish. (My exoskeleton gets tingly all over when I see him grinning like a maniac while sprawled in a chair with his feet up, and “busily engaged in gnawing a beef-bone.” Swoon and stuff.) He’s even hotter than I originally thought, actually:

“She noted the breadth and power of his hands; they were not the stubby undeveloped paws of a troglodyte.”

Ha! My boyfriend ain’t no uncivilized primitive! He’s got sexy as shrimp metacarpi!

“With a guilty start she found herself imagining those strong fingers locked in her dark hair.”

Whoa whoa whoa, not so fast young lady! No touching my Savage Dumpling! (Or him touching you and stuff.) Your whole damsel in distress act might work on Conan, and he might be willing to cut throats for you (because he is obliging and cordial like that), but don’t you go getting any ideas in your silly little head!



Thanks for the support, Bertie! You’re a real pal!

Okay, maybe I should backtrack for a second and tell you what this story is about. So. There’s an ancient city in ruins and an evil sorcerer’s tomb. There’s a princess called Yasmela (the chick who wants my boyfriend to put his Super Sexey Hands in her dirty, greasy hair). There’s a deliciously vile succubus who very generously wants to teach said princess “the ancient forgotten ways of pleasure.” Such a considerate soul he is. Not sure why Yasmela gets all freaked out when he pays her visit. Especially since he’s got the most soothing voice ever.

“A low subtle inhuman sibilance that was more like the soft abominable hissing of a serpent than anything else.”

See what I mean? Anyway, so Yasmela the Big Crybaby gets scared as fish and finds herself a Super Drunk Hot Barbarian in Shining Scarlet Cloak to help get rid of her friendly Sex Ed teacher. She promotes him from his Most Turbulent of All Local Mercenary Rogues position to Luscious Commander of the Armies of Khoraja (because she’s a bloody shrimping princess and does whatever the fish she wants and stuff). After which things got real disappointing really fast. I mean, you’d think that repulsive succubus + tasty Conan would = YUM, right? Well, okay, it was kinda sorta yummy because there was an epically epic battle and stuff, but the thing is, there was nothing but an epically epic battle. And as much as I like epically epic battles and seeing my boyfriend skewering enemies and smiting them with beef bones, it gets pretty old after a while. Besides, we didn’t even get to attend a single Sex Ed class, which sucks big time, if you ask me.



Looks like I’m not the only one who thinks this is a total rip-off.

• Introduction to the world: The Hyborian Age ★★★★
• Main review: The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian - currently reading