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naomithomson's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
you’re gonna die alone
- ?
- i hope you see that you can bet on yourself, even when the people you love most haven’t figured out how to bet on you yet
- damn i have never needed this more ever than rn and today
- i hope you see that you can bet on yourself, even when the people you love most haven’t figured out how to bet on you yet
- 36
- but i was too hungry and wanted too much and everyone made sure i knew it. so i stayed small and hoped that they could keep me safe
- all of page 35 !!!!!
- it’s okay to be the only one still believing in you
- 37
- id made a decision: i would bet on myself. and fuck me it worked
- that’s such a milestone, isn’t it? to be given something wonderful and not wonder if it’s meant to be yours?
- 39
- but we all have something that calls us: a thing to do, or a way to be, or a place to go. there is something that beckons, from deep in the dark corners of our souls where we never draw the curtains and let sun in, that asks us to feed the hunger for life. to leave the predictable sturdy table where we can eat a “reasonable” amount and nothing more, and to open a brand-new door. it beckons us to change.
- 62
- the fear of failure and rejection shouldn’t be allowed to bring so many early endings to your one, magical world. we don’t have to be afraid of being human.
- 94
- you can’t put off living your only life on the hope that you’ll discover the secret to becoming good enough. if you put off life until all of that comes true you’ll be putting off life until you’re dead.
- 97
- you deserve to worry the church ladies, and to wear something that makes a cool-looking teenage girl say, no you’re cool, and to walk holes into the soles of your shoes from all the places you’ve wandered
- 116
- our propensity to enforce rigid standards for other women only benefits men
- 124
- what if women were allowed to do truly loud things?
- this is the main gripe i have with this authors writing is that she acknowledges the patriarchy and encourages against it yes but women ARE allowed to do whatever they want. its managing the repercussions that we should be focused on. they can and they should. why reinforce the narrative that they can’t act certain ways?
- also either that i didn’t realize how much of a feminism book this would be. not the most mad at it but sometimes it’s like why are we constantly talking about men im exhausted
- what if women were allowed to do truly loud things?
- 126
- let us be brave enough to embrace change, wise enough to know when it’s time, and kind enough to let each other grow when we need to find new soil.
- kind enough tn accept that sometimes change will take away the women we love and transform them into something new and important. we can decide today, together, that women are allowed to never stop changing if they need to. we can be free to pursue the best versions of ourselves, of our lives, until the end
- 130
- i worked so hard to disguise my failure to have a good body by having the best of everything else, and i didn’t let anyone close enough to see the disguise to the unlovable girl within
- not in the same boat body wise but damn have i felt this on some level
- i worked so hard to disguise my failure to have a good body by having the best of everything else, and i didn’t let anyone close enough to see the disguise to the unlovable girl within
- 141
- the analogy of this chapter: so you auditioned for the leading lady and you got cast as the cow, is really good
- while feedback is helpful, and our companions can reflect something about ourselves back in a way we havent’t seen, if we do the hard work to be a person we’re proud of, we don’t have to respond tk being cast, inexplicably, as the cow. we can carry on telling our story ever night to a packed house and standing ovation. and we can hope the same for many different theaters with many different shows being put on by the people we want the best for
- 151
- holy fuck this entire page is bars i’m not taking notes of all of them.. ok maybe i will
- whether or not you believe you can do something will often be the truth
- who you were when you were trying to survive does not need to haunt yoi. you are allowed to forgive yourself now that you know better
- holding on to things when they do not want to stay will only bring you pain
- your are more than what you have done or what you have not
- you will make people angry and uncomfortable when you grow. grow anyways
- how people feel about you is none of your business. everyone can think ahead get they want. you have your own thoughts to discover
- you are capable of verbally great things and you do not need to wait just til somebody else notices
- 151
- security and safety are an illusion, there is no reason to try to hide from change
- it is very likely that fear will be your companion all your life. you must find a way to listen to its voice, but not follow its command
- being alone is very wonderful when you have learned to enjoy your own company
- me rn ngl. this is so true, romantic relationships wise
- these will be a time that you feel you have wasted. it will make you sad. that’s okay. you are still alive. you still have tomorrow.
- 154
- the anecdote about her friend being the light among her family’s judgement
- 158
- loneliness is more about wanting to be noticed than wanting to have company
- idk how i feel about this
- loneliness is more about wanting to be noticed than wanting to have company
- 159
- the entire page. wow.
- i’m thank cuz to have loved someone that much without ever building a trapdoor into the floorboards. it all came down around us, we couldn’t get out unscathed, but i don’t think either one of us would have done it differently. we loved and built and broke and in many ways it made us who we are. i’m proud of who i am. and i’m proud of who she is too.
- 175
- it was disorienting to share my testimony of leaving god behind in order to find true, redeeming love in a room full of people who were their own passionate, radical believers
- 187
- when you think about it, you’re the only person you spend every day of your life with. we find the loves of our lives and we lose them. we fall in love, then people change. our parents die. our siblings get married and move somewhere with way too much humidity and an assload if bugs. our friends change. we change.
- we are the person we can count on to pick u up and out is back together again. we are the person who always shows up, who washes our hair and does our laundry and cooks us meals. we give us permission to book the flight, say yes to the job in a brand-new place, name our babies after ourselves or walk away. the only person i can bet on to show up always and forever is me.
- 189
- i also hope that when it ends, you find yourself still cradled and comforted by the love your life: you. i hope you enjoy your company and believe that it can be enough when everything else is lost.
- 215
- it’s not true that we will only love you until you let us down
- writing to her mothers inner child is so good. hits me in the heart because i think about my mothers inner child. on this rainy day when i wait for her to text me back. mother daughter relationships always hit a soft spot
- it’s not true that we will only love you until you let us down
- 217
- while it might feel like she gets all your effort, she will feel like you’re far away.
- you will wonder how your daughter became such a hardened, cold, untouchable thing. she will wonder if there will ever be a day you look at her and find nothing to fix. neither of you will hear, behind your own rising voices, all the mothers mothers shouting. you and your daughter will struggle to hear each other at all.
- 218
- she will watch you do your best, and mess it up, but never quit. you will pick yourself up and start again in your work to be the best mom you can be, even if you sometimes believe deep in your heart you might never be a good mom. you never stop trying. your daughter will see how hard you have always, always tried.
- she will accept that life, in large part, is the constant, quiet courage of trying. she will lean that from you.
- wow it’s like she’s talking about me and my mom
- man this really talks about breaking the chain of mother daughter relationships, forgiving her mom as she knew she suffered from the same dynamics out of her control growing up. and while descriptive the author has this air of forgiveness as she heals from it all
- 219
- and i know that sometimes you worry you are a disappointment, in the deepest corners of your heart, but you are not a disappointment to me. i am so proud of you.
- the essence of what i wish i could say to my mom and what i hope to say to her someday before we die
- and i know that sometimes you worry you are a disappointment, in the deepest corners of your heart, but you are not a disappointment to me. i am so proud of you.
- 222
- make sure the venue for my funeral is somewhere with lots of cheeky broom closets and hidden corners where mourners can all make out
wow. five star book. instant fave. i don’t want to go back and reread it soon but im so glad i wandered into the bookstore after brunch in st. paul that one day and saw rhe bright yellow cover and added it to storygraph. this book found me at the right time. so much wit and wisdom packed into it it felt like reading a refined organized diary. i feel like im gonna recommend this book tj all my friends like i did rude by rebecca reid only for none of them to read it. but this definitely changed my life in some way im glad i took notes.
hungry_book_monster's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
sad
medium-paced
5.0
It took me awhile to read this book because I didn't want it to be over, this author has an incredible writing style and I was laughing in-between full body shivers. I felt seen and loved after reading this book