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This is ultimately a story of triumph, of self-acceptance, and of finding your family. While being an incredible story with so much richness, and true horror, both real and paranormal, it is extremely heavy when it comes to LGBTQIA+ and women's rights and how they were treated in this era. This isn't a book for the faint of heart, even though it does have a happy ending.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Confinement, Deadnaming, Death, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Medical trauma, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Dysphoria
Minor: Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Pregnancy
Graphic: Death
Graphic: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Body horror, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Transphobia, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Abortion, Death of parent, Murder, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Confinement, Cursing, Deadnaming, Vomit, Alcohol
Minor: Cannibalism
Graphic: Body horror, Gore, Misogyny, Transphobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Pregnancy, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Deadnaming, Death, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Dysphoria
Minor: Confinement, Rape, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, Abortion
“I hope the scalpel is kind to you. I hope your sutures heal clean”
Graphic: Ableism, Body horror, Death, Gore, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Self harm, Transphobia, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Murder, Gaslighting, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Deadnaming, Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Sexual harassment, Classism
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Child abuse, Deadnaming, Gore, Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexism, Transphobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Medical content, Medical trauma, Abortion, Pregnancy, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Bullying, Child death, Cursing, Death, Emotional abuse, Miscarriage, Sexual assault, Torture, Murder, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Pregnancy, Sexual harassment
Minor: Ableism, Body shaming, Self harm, Vomit, Abandonment
“You don’t have to endure it. You can get off the operating table and walk away at any time."
Graphic: Animal death, Body horror, Child abuse, Child death, Deadnaming, Death, Gore, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Medical content, Suicide attempt, Murder, Pregnancy, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Cursing, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Pregnancy
Minor: Vomit
Graphic: Ableism, Body horror, Death, Gore, Sexism, Torture, Transphobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Medical content, Abortion, Pregnancy, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Deadnaming, Homophobia, Sexual violence, Suicide attempt, Outing, Dysphoria
Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Deadnaming, Death, Gore, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Forced institutionalization, Blood, Medical content, Medical trauma, Abortion, Murder, Pregnancy, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Animal death, Rape, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Vomit
When the dead men come, we are waiting. We have been waiting so long.
They must have convinced themselves they would never rot in the same dirt we do.
a gruesome, haunting, incensed, and most of all stunning portrait of mistreatment and the rot beneath sharp-toothed smiles. silas bell is a wonderful protagonist and one of the most interesting perspective characters i've ever read about — he has an almost luridly violent narrative style and is constantly thinking about taking himself/others apart to understand them on a medical level as a surgeon. he's soft, used to being obedient and hiding two crucial parts of himself (his trans-ness and his autism), but he undergoes strong development and by the end is this messy, wild, feral boy who's not afraid to commit murder but ultimately still soft at heart. i cared for him so much, and he was so easy to root for. his commentary about causation v. s. correlation and wondering, eternally, whether his autism caused him to be transgender or the other way around was a really neat look on intersectionality that i think is very true to people who are both queer and disabled, queer and with a mental disorder, etc.
i also adored daphne, the other trans character. she loves literature and poetry, and she has a fierce, untamed side to her. she looks after silas as best she can. their t4t relationship was so wholesome, and i thought it was a good choice to include both a ftm and a mtf character to showcase both experiences. the scene where they introduce themselves properly is one of my favorites of the entire book. i didn't find their romance rushed; having a gentle romance subplot complimented the dark tone of the story really well. don't even get me started on mary and frances's sapphic ghost/human girl relationship and the way they refer to each other as "wife". mary is also a well-developed character who contrasts silas, and i liked her redemption arc. all the girls at braxton's and their different perspectives made for an immersive atmosphere, even if their personalities were a bit one-note.
i love andrew joseph white's writing style. the rabbit metaphor for fear in silas's ribcage was something i didn't expect but came to adore, just as all the other parts of this book. the rabbit (a prey animal) is with him always, and it constantly tries to prevent him from breaking free and keep him caged because that's what's safe — inaction. the witchy victorian era setting was great, and it's so horrifying thinking about how people in power experimented on these braxton girls and how they treated disabled or queer people in the novel isn't too far off from what they did back then in the real world and what they still do now.
one thing i will say is i wish silas could've gotten revenge himself instead of what actually ended up happening at the end. i almost feel there could've been more rage from him, but i'm not too upset about it considering we have the quote above. additionally, i initially gave this book 4.5 stars because i wasn't too comfortable with the violence, but making you uncomfortable is the whole point. it's meant to be provocative and not just a little disgusting, so i have to applaud it for that. my gore tolerance is higher now, too. i never felt the violence was gratuitous.
if you like female rage, dark YA that crosses the line toward new adult, and queer/neurodivergent representation, i cannot recommend this book to you enough. i brought it everywhere with me just to keep reading, and i already want to do a reread — i feel homesick for the world and the characters. my favorite read of the year so far and definitely one of my favorites of all time now. 10/10. spectacular.
Graphic: Body horror, Gore, Transphobia, Violence, Medical content, Abortion, Murder
Moderate: Ableism, Child abuse, Deadnaming, Death, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Forced institutionalization, Pregnancy
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit