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taranim's review
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Thank you to NetGalley and to the Ace and Aro Advocacy Project for this eARC, which was given in exchange for an honest review.
I requested this book on NetGalley for many reasons, but one of the biggest ones was because I was intrigued by it. People are so diverse and it is interesting to read a book like this to learn more about where they are coming from. Plus I think we should all do our due diligence to educate ourselves on these experiences when people are facing barriers and difficulties in life because of certain aspects of their identity.
I did learn an awful lot from this book. Asexuality and aromanticism are identities I didn’t know much about before I read this. I feel like I came out of it knowing much more than I thought I would have, especially in terms of how important the internet was and continues to be for members of these communities. Having testimonies from members of the respective communities definitely helped with my understanding some of the things that were discussed in the book.
Each chapter is thorough and very informative, to the point where it is almost academic. This is not negative critique in my case, but I do think it would put a reader off if that is not the type of book they want to use to first dive into the subject.
This is one I read more or less in one sitting, but I feel it is more a guide to dip in and out of as the reader wishes. The extensive appendixes at the back would lend itself greatly to this type of a reading experience.
All in all, I think this is a good book for educating people on ace and aro identities and the issues they face. I’d love to see more books like this pop up in the future, they’re needed.
I requested this book on NetGalley for many reasons, but one of the biggest ones was because I was intrigued by it. People are so diverse and it is interesting to read a book like this to learn more about where they are coming from. Plus I think we should all do our due diligence to educate ourselves on these experiences when people are facing barriers and difficulties in life because of certain aspects of their identity.
I did learn an awful lot from this book. Asexuality and aromanticism are identities I didn’t know much about before I read this. I feel like I came out of it knowing much more than I thought I would have, especially in terms of how important the internet was and continues to be for members of these communities. Having testimonies from members of the respective communities definitely helped with my understanding some of the things that were discussed in the book.
Each chapter is thorough and very informative, to the point where it is almost academic. This is not negative critique in my case, but I do think it would put a reader off if that is not the type of book they want to use to first dive into the subject.
This is one I read more or less in one sitting, but I feel it is more a guide to dip in and out of as the reader wishes. The extensive appendixes at the back would lend itself greatly to this type of a reading experience.
All in all, I think this is a good book for educating people on ace and aro identities and the issues they face. I’d love to see more books like this pop up in the future, they’re needed.
gabyk_lib's review
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
5.0
Really helpful and intellectual guide to a lot of different aspects of Ace and Aro experience.
vii's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
As someone who has identified as aroace for a couple of years now, I found that most of the information in this book was not new to me, but I appreciated that it included information about specifically arospec people rather than just focusing on the acespec experience. It was quite detailed and I liked the snippets of anecdotes from aspec people. As a high level overview of the topic, it's decent, but someone who is just new to learning about asexuality and aromanticism would probably want to use this as a jumping off point to find other resources about the topic, as it goes through many different aspects of it rather quickly and shallowly to the point that it may be overwhelming rather than enlightening.
aruarian_melody's review against another edition
DNF@42%
I appreciate the aro and/or ace representation but this book is so concerned with showcasting the wide range of ace experiences that it just becomes very unclear and unhelpful. In general, inclusiveness is amazing and I'm glad they tried to be as reflected and inclusive as possible, but the result was a very shallow overview with a ton of repetitions in the advice sections. Often the advice was something along the lines of "make sure to separate X,Y and Z" - without defining X,Y and Z or giving specific examples. There is a glossary but I often didn't find (enough) information on terms. I just wasn't sure what my takeaway should be or who the target audience is. I liked the quotes from different people on the ace-spectrum and expected the book to be more focused on that.
I appreciate the aro and/or ace representation but this book is so concerned with showcasting the wide range of ace experiences that it just becomes very unclear and unhelpful. In general, inclusiveness is amazing and I'm glad they tried to be as reflected and inclusive as possible, but the result was a very shallow overview with a ton of repetitions in the advice sections. Often the advice was something along the lines of "make sure to separate X,Y and Z" - without defining X,Y and Z or giving specific examples. There is a glossary but I often didn't find (enough) information on terms. I just wasn't sure what my takeaway should be or who the target audience is. I liked the quotes from different people on the ace-spectrum and expected the book to be more focused on that.
tachyondecay's review
funny
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
3.0
If it is possible to get burnt out on reading nonfiction about asexual and aromantic identities, that might be happening to me thanks to all of the great books Jessica Kingsley Publishers has put out this year. Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity is yet another, though the Ace and Aro Advocacy Project has done a good job of making sure it is providing a valuable and different perspective. My thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the eARC.
I think the book itself sums it up nicely when it says it aims to be both ace/aro 101 and 201. It covers the basics that so many books already cover about what asexuality and aromanticism are—and then it goes beyond those basics. Like several of the other books I’ve read from JKP this year, this one includes quotations from ace and aro people. However, the authorial voice of Ace and Aro Journeys remains casual yet organizational, a departure from the much more personal voices of individuals who wrote the other books.
Another contrast to the other books I read was that they were all mostly aimed at a-spec audiences, especially a-spec people who are just finding or coming to terms with their identities. While allo people could enjoy those books and learn a lot from them, they weren’t the primary audience. Ace and Aro Journeys, on the other hand, aims much wider. It in fact includes a lot of guidance and advice for allies who want to support their a-spec friends and family. So if you are searching for a book to get the allo person in your life to help them understand you, this one might be it.
Beyond that, I’m going to be honest: the burnout I’m feeling makes it difficult for me to be as enthusiastic about this book if I had just read it on its own. I’m trying to be clear about this because I don’t want to damn the book with faint praise—I think this book is good, and I’m really happy it exists and that I got to read it, but I’ve had too much of a good thing these past few months, and it is showing! What a time to live in when I can complain about reading too much nonfiction about ace and aro experiences, eh?
There are a few other highlights I can mention that make it easy to endorse this book. First, it is very focused on practical steps. It talks about finding support networks and specifically traces the origins of a-spec havens online. From an anthropological perspective, anyone researching or trying to learn more about the earlier days of asexuality on the web could do worse than starting here. As someone who hasn’t ever engaged in specific a-spec communities (I only really found my people on Twitter, and nowadays many have left), this part of the book made me feel a kind of … I don’t know, yearning? So many of the queer spaces where I hang out online are inclusive of ace people but are not necessarily ace-focused. I’m not sure I am going to rush out and join an online space dedicated to a-spec experiences, but this book really got me reflecting on it and what kinds of ace connections I might want in my life.
The sheer number of testimonials from different people is also very powerful. My experiences as an ace person don’t always match up with many of the most visible ace voices out there (and the same is true for my experiences as an aro person). This is the case for a lot of marginalized communities; I am sure my experience of this is not unique! But in this book, I definitely heard stories that felt closer to mine. I hope other a-spec readers find that too.
On that note, I’ll close my review with one other wish that I’ve said previously: these books do a good job of acknowledging the limitations of their positionality, but we need to go further. It’s great to say, “hey, this is primarily from a white and Western point of view.” Nevertheless, it would be even better if publishers like JKP could invest the time in finding non-white, non-Western voices to explore ace and aro identities from those perspectives as well. I hope in the years to come, I can complain about being burned out by the number of those books too.
Originally posted at Kara.Reviews.
I think the book itself sums it up nicely when it says it aims to be both ace/aro 101 and 201. It covers the basics that so many books already cover about what asexuality and aromanticism are—and then it goes beyond those basics. Like several of the other books I’ve read from JKP this year, this one includes quotations from ace and aro people. However, the authorial voice of Ace and Aro Journeys remains casual yet organizational, a departure from the much more personal voices of individuals who wrote the other books.
Another contrast to the other books I read was that they were all mostly aimed at a-spec audiences, especially a-spec people who are just finding or coming to terms with their identities. While allo people could enjoy those books and learn a lot from them, they weren’t the primary audience. Ace and Aro Journeys, on the other hand, aims much wider. It in fact includes a lot of guidance and advice for allies who want to support their a-spec friends and family. So if you are searching for a book to get the allo person in your life to help them understand you, this one might be it.
Beyond that, I’m going to be honest: the burnout I’m feeling makes it difficult for me to be as enthusiastic about this book if I had just read it on its own. I’m trying to be clear about this because I don’t want to damn the book with faint praise—I think this book is good, and I’m really happy it exists and that I got to read it, but I’ve had too much of a good thing these past few months, and it is showing! What a time to live in when I can complain about reading too much nonfiction about ace and aro experiences, eh?
There are a few other highlights I can mention that make it easy to endorse this book. First, it is very focused on practical steps. It talks about finding support networks and specifically traces the origins of a-spec havens online. From an anthropological perspective, anyone researching or trying to learn more about the earlier days of asexuality on the web could do worse than starting here. As someone who hasn’t ever engaged in specific a-spec communities (I only really found my people on Twitter, and nowadays many have left), this part of the book made me feel a kind of … I don’t know, yearning? So many of the queer spaces where I hang out online are inclusive of ace people but are not necessarily ace-focused. I’m not sure I am going to rush out and join an online space dedicated to a-spec experiences, but this book really got me reflecting on it and what kinds of ace connections I might want in my life.
The sheer number of testimonials from different people is also very powerful. My experiences as an ace person don’t always match up with many of the most visible ace voices out there (and the same is true for my experiences as an aro person). This is the case for a lot of marginalized communities; I am sure my experience of this is not unique! But in this book, I definitely heard stories that felt closer to mine. I hope other a-spec readers find that too.
On that note, I’ll close my review with one other wish that I’ve said previously: these books do a good job of acknowledging the limitations of their positionality, but we need to go further. It’s great to say, “hey, this is primarily from a white and Western point of view.” Nevertheless, it would be even better if publishers like JKP could invest the time in finding non-white, non-Western voices to explore ace and aro identities from those perspectives as well. I hope in the years to come, I can complain about being burned out by the number of those books too.
Originally posted at Kara.Reviews.
raesreadingcorner's review
As someone who is ace/aro, I was really excited to read this book. I was hoping that it would be a brilliant book that I knew a younger me would have loved and appreciated.
While the personal accounts/quotes did help a bit with the writing, the book felt very repetitive and insensitive to ace/aro people.
I genuinely felt a bit uncomfortable when reading it.
It would have been so much nice if they went on the personal route a bit more, seeing if they could source conversations from online forums rather than a lot of the statistics that just felt harsh and weren't explained very well.
I almost DNF'd this book at the HP reference 15% into the book (because please, STOP. If you truly respect and support Trans people ans Jewish people and everyone that that author has offended and continues to harass, you wouldn't even think to add a reference to a book like this.) But I decided to continue on because I wanted it to get better. But in the end DNF'd it halfway through because it didn't get any better.
That being said, some things I did relate to eg the mention of ace/aro people trying to fit in at a young age pretending to have crushes on people to fit in. I did that a lot.
But overall, for anyone who is new to the terms aro and ace, I don't think this is the first book you should pick up. It can be confusing, repetitive and just lacks personal experiences to back up all of the facts that it gives.
I do appreciate the publishers for providing me with an eArc of this book, I'm genuinely sad that I didn't love it as much as I wanted to.
While the personal accounts/quotes did help a bit with the writing, the book felt very repetitive and insensitive to ace/aro people.
I genuinely felt a bit uncomfortable when reading it.
It would have been so much nice if they went on the personal route a bit more, seeing if they could source conversations from online forums rather than a lot of the statistics that just felt harsh and weren't explained very well.
I almost DNF'd this book at the HP reference 15% into the book (because please, STOP. If you truly respect and support Trans people ans Jewish people and everyone that that author has offended and continues to harass, you wouldn't even think to add a reference to a book like this.) But I decided to continue on because I wanted it to get better. But in the end DNF'd it halfway through because it didn't get any better.
That being said, some things I did relate to eg the mention of ace/aro people trying to fit in at a young age pretending to have crushes on people to fit in. I did that a lot.
But overall, for anyone who is new to the terms aro and ace, I don't think this is the first book you should pick up. It can be confusing, repetitive and just lacks personal experiences to back up all of the facts that it gives.
I do appreciate the publishers for providing me with an eArc of this book, I'm genuinely sad that I didn't love it as much as I wanted to.
sarahsyearofbooks's review
The formatting from NetGalley gave me a headache. Maybe better in print.
rattletheshelves's review
informative
3.0
Another aspec nonfiction and once again I'm on the fence. This one took me a long time to get through and there were multiple times when I wanted to put it away and not come back. Which doesn't mean that it's a bad book!
My main problem was that I really don't know who is the intended audience of this book. A vast majority of this book is dedicated to expanding on an aro/ace identity development theory. Which is a psychological theory... but this is not a psychology book. And the theory doesn't pretend to be academic, either, there are hardly any references and the research behind it is never explained. Which is confusing because that means it's basically unuseable for academics, especially psychologists, but the semi-academic language makes it way less accessible for an average reader.
Is it written for aspec or questioning people? I'm not sure, it was a heavy read full of dismantling of aphobia and negative experiences and violence but even more strikingly, it seems almost hostile towards aspec communities, mentioning multiple times (basically almost any time an aspec community is mentioned) that you're basically only likely to experience prejudice, violence or other form of hostility there. It made it really hard to read and these were the times when I almost dnf-ed it.
Is it for the allies? Maybe? There are some pretty nice guides on how to react to someone coming out in various settings and lists of resources.
There are some great lists and advice for various situations here. However, it's also another aspec book that is very US-centric (I love when authors pretend that it's "Western" but their reality doesn't transcribe to Western Europe at all) and a lot of advice just isn't relevant to someone who doesn't live there. While the author's try to be super inclusive and it's noticeabe, they fail to realize that not everyone lives in a place where queer identities have any sort of protection or acceptance, much less aspecs. At the last check, the only place where aspecs were legally protected was New York City so some of the advice is almost dangerous - you can't fall back on legal regulations in a workplace to protect you if there are no regulations like that in the first place. They also repeatedly recommend to turn to your local aspec organizations as if that was a popular thing that exists all over the world.
Also, format note - I think it would read much better in a physical copy, all the lists and appendices would be much more accessible.
***Thanks NetGalley for the eARC***
My main problem was that I really don't know who is the intended audience of this book. A vast majority of this book is dedicated to expanding on an aro/ace identity development theory. Which is a psychological theory... but this is not a psychology book. And the theory doesn't pretend to be academic, either, there are hardly any references and the research behind it is never explained. Which is confusing because that means it's basically unuseable for academics, especially psychologists, but the semi-academic language makes it way less accessible for an average reader.
Is it written for aspec or questioning people? I'm not sure, it was a heavy read full of dismantling of aphobia and negative experiences and violence but even more strikingly, it seems almost hostile towards aspec communities, mentioning multiple times (basically almost any time an aspec community is mentioned) that you're basically only likely to experience prejudice, violence or other form of hostility there. It made it really hard to read and these were the times when I almost dnf-ed it.
Is it for the allies? Maybe? There are some pretty nice guides on how to react to someone coming out in various settings and lists of resources.
There are some great lists and advice for various situations here. However, it's also another aspec book that is very US-centric (I love when authors pretend that it's "Western" but their reality doesn't transcribe to Western Europe at all) and a lot of advice just isn't relevant to someone who doesn't live there. While the author's try to be super inclusive and it's noticeabe, they fail to realize that not everyone lives in a place where queer identities have any sort of protection or acceptance, much less aspecs. At the last check, the only place where aspecs were legally protected was New York City so some of the advice is almost dangerous - you can't fall back on legal regulations in a workplace to protect you if there are no regulations like that in the first place. They also repeatedly recommend to turn to your local aspec organizations as if that was a popular thing that exists all over the world.
Also, format note - I think it would read much better in a physical copy, all the lists and appendices would be much more accessible.
***Thanks NetGalley for the eARC***
rachelnevada's review
I've read a lot of books on asexuality (like at least 5 + several zines + some fiction) and Ace and Aro Journeys is the best book I've read when it comes to practical advice about asexuality or aromanticism.
Written by members of The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP), Ace and Aro Journeys is both well-researched and intentionally inclusive of a wide variety of community members. The book's structure is inspired by the Asexual Identity Model proposed by Robbins, Low, and Query in their article "A Qualitative Exploration of the 'Coming Out' Process for Asexual Individuals." This means that following three introductory chapters (The Basics, Community History and Culture, and Identity Development), there are seven chapters dedicated to each stage of identity development-- Ignorance, Discovery of Terminology, Identity Confusion, Exploration and Education, Identity Acceptance, Coming Out, and Identity Integration. Each chapter is written in clear, plain language and is accompanied by bullet points that help the reader digest information and asses whether or not information is relevant to them. Throughout each chapter, there is a strong emphasis on practical advice and figuring out what works best for you; a sentiment that is supported by their robust appendix. For example, Chapter 9 on Coming Out lists several different ways for ace and aro people to come out, with an exhaustive exploration of the pros and cons for each way, as well as an acknowledgement of how coming out as ace or aro might differ from other queer communities.
Unlike other introductory guides (like Ace by Angela Chen and Sounds Fake But Okay by Kayla Kaszyca and Sarah Costello), Ace and Aro Journeys appears to be written for ace and aro people. For example, the guide skips over defining basic community terms (though a glossary is provided for those that need further context) and often addresses ace and aro people directly. My favorite addition is a Ace/Aro Coming Out 'Bingo' card available in the appendix.
This is the book I would hand to baby ace and aro people who understand parts of their sexual and/or romantic orientation, but who remain curious about what that means for their future and their relationships. Definitely a must read!
Written by members of The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP), Ace and Aro Journeys is both well-researched and intentionally inclusive of a wide variety of community members. The book's structure is inspired by the Asexual Identity Model proposed by Robbins, Low, and Query in their article "A Qualitative Exploration of the 'Coming Out' Process for Asexual Individuals." This means that following three introductory chapters (The Basics, Community History and Culture, and Identity Development), there are seven chapters dedicated to each stage of identity development-- Ignorance, Discovery of Terminology, Identity Confusion, Exploration and Education, Identity Acceptance, Coming Out, and Identity Integration. Each chapter is written in clear, plain language and is accompanied by bullet points that help the reader digest information and asses whether or not information is relevant to them. Throughout each chapter, there is a strong emphasis on practical advice and figuring out what works best for you; a sentiment that is supported by their robust appendix. For example, Chapter 9 on Coming Out lists several different ways for ace and aro people to come out, with an exhaustive exploration of the pros and cons for each way, as well as an acknowledgement of how coming out as ace or aro might differ from other queer communities.
Unlike other introductory guides (like Ace by Angela Chen and Sounds Fake But Okay by Kayla Kaszyca and Sarah Costello), Ace and Aro Journeys appears to be written for ace and aro people. For example, the guide skips over defining basic community terms (though a glossary is provided for those that need further context) and often addresses ace and aro people directly. My favorite addition is a Ace/Aro Coming Out 'Bingo' card available in the appendix.
This is the book I would hand to baby ace and aro people who understand parts of their sexual and/or romantic orientation, but who remain curious about what that means for their future and their relationships. Definitely a must read!