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tmathews0330's review against another edition
5.0
Beautiful insight and intelligently drawn parallels between the Bible and reality.
christie_esau's review against another edition
4.0
I really appreciated this book, though I think I would have appreciated even more of the author's lived experiences of adoption. Definitely a quality book about adoption but very informed by Christian tradition (though quite progressive).
drbobcornwall's review against another edition
5.0
What does it mean to be adopted? That is the question that Kelley Nikondeha explores in this wonderful thought provoking book. Nikondeha is adopted, and she and her husband have two adopted children. That means she knows what it means to be adopted. While some suggest taht to be adopted is somehow a second class family situation, that is not the case. Writing as a Christian, she reminds the reader that to be in Christ is to be adopted into the family of God. That is, while Jesus might be the only begotten son of God, we are, as Christians, adopted children of God.
This book is about adoption, both familial and spiritual. It is also about healing a fractured world. She speaks here to the need we all have to belong. The subtitle of the book reminds us of this need and this reality. The use of the word sacrament to describe adoption, is to suggest that adoption is, in all its forms, a means of grace. What she hopes to accomplish in this book is to encourage those who have been adopted and those exploring adoption to claim this status as one of grace. To all of us, she wants to offer insights that can help us move toward a sense of belonging.
The interplay in this book between memoir and scripture is quite well done. This is not easy to do. Sometimes it seems forced, but not in this case. With this in mind, she offers us a way of looking at life in God's presence. She notes that "the everyday experience of adopted living teaches us about belonging beyond boundaries" (p. 5). I like that concept -- belonging beyond boundaries, whether they be familial, religious, national. To be a member of the family of God is to transcend all human boundaries. The sacramental side of adoption is seen in the way "it shows us that adoption is a visible sign to the world that God continues to transform widows into mothers, orphans into daughters and sons, making all of us kin" (p. 5).
The book is composed of eight chapters. She begins with roots or origins. But then moves on to the concept of "relinquish." This is a beautiful chapter that explores why a mother relinquishes a child. Too often we condemn a mother for this action, but its difficult to relinquish, but it can be powerful. Understanding why this happens is important to the child who has been relinquished. If a child is relinquished, the child is also received. In these two chapters, Nikondeha incorporates the story of Moses, whose own life illustrates this transition, as one mother must let go of her child, even as another brings him into her own family as her own.
From Receive we move to reciprocate. I had never thought of it this way, but even as adoptive parents adopt, so does the adoptive child. There is a reciprocity here that is not always easy to accomplish, but is necessary if a child is to move toward belonging. Using the story of Ruth and Naomi, Nikondeha invites us to consider what it means to be redeemed, and who might be the redeemers in our lives, those who provide a place of belonging, as Boaz did for Naomi and Ruth.
The chapter on repair invites us to consider the connection between tikkun olam and shalom, where repair connects with equity. This chapter explores the idea of jubilee and what it means to have one's life repaired or restored. With adoption in mind, she suggests that "adoption enacts shalom for all of us" (p. 122). Adoption is, she suggests, "one way to strengthen the neighborhood" (p. 123). Adoption is ultimately about inclusion and welcome. This is a vision we truly need at this moment!
Repair leads to return, that search for our first home or mother. This is not, she suggests, lack of gratitude to adoptive parents, it is simply a recognition that we all long to know our roots. Those might be spiritual roots, or familial, but we have this desire, this longing for answers. But ultimately, there is the longing for the world that God envisions for us, that holy mountain or new city envisioned by Isaiah. Finally, we come to the concluding chapter, titled "relatives." We bring to a close the conversation by reflecting on what it means to be a "real family." Here belonging is as strong as biology. What she believes is that we can, whether adopted or not, we can learn from those adopted about what it means to be family, what it means to belong in a way that transcends boundaries. She writes in the concluding paragraph that Jesus is the "Gathering God, the Adopted One who crosses boundaries to show us that we are all kin despite the ways we differe from each other and even from him. In this fractured world, we belong -- that's the truth that binds us to him, Our Father, who art in heaven" (p. 176).
Again, this is a beautifully written book that is revealing of a life lived as adopted child and adopted parent, but also of the potential for the world if we understand what it means to be adopted by God. This is God's desire, but there is need for reciprocity, for adopting God, and then maybe we'll be ready to be restored to wholeness.
This book is about adoption, both familial and spiritual. It is also about healing a fractured world. She speaks here to the need we all have to belong. The subtitle of the book reminds us of this need and this reality. The use of the word sacrament to describe adoption, is to suggest that adoption is, in all its forms, a means of grace. What she hopes to accomplish in this book is to encourage those who have been adopted and those exploring adoption to claim this status as one of grace. To all of us, she wants to offer insights that can help us move toward a sense of belonging.
The interplay in this book between memoir and scripture is quite well done. This is not easy to do. Sometimes it seems forced, but not in this case. With this in mind, she offers us a way of looking at life in God's presence. She notes that "the everyday experience of adopted living teaches us about belonging beyond boundaries" (p. 5). I like that concept -- belonging beyond boundaries, whether they be familial, religious, national. To be a member of the family of God is to transcend all human boundaries. The sacramental side of adoption is seen in the way "it shows us that adoption is a visible sign to the world that God continues to transform widows into mothers, orphans into daughters and sons, making all of us kin" (p. 5).
The book is composed of eight chapters. She begins with roots or origins. But then moves on to the concept of "relinquish." This is a beautiful chapter that explores why a mother relinquishes a child. Too often we condemn a mother for this action, but its difficult to relinquish, but it can be powerful. Understanding why this happens is important to the child who has been relinquished. If a child is relinquished, the child is also received. In these two chapters, Nikondeha incorporates the story of Moses, whose own life illustrates this transition, as one mother must let go of her child, even as another brings him into her own family as her own.
From Receive we move to reciprocate. I had never thought of it this way, but even as adoptive parents adopt, so does the adoptive child. There is a reciprocity here that is not always easy to accomplish, but is necessary if a child is to move toward belonging. Using the story of Ruth and Naomi, Nikondeha invites us to consider what it means to be redeemed, and who might be the redeemers in our lives, those who provide a place of belonging, as Boaz did for Naomi and Ruth.
The chapter on repair invites us to consider the connection between tikkun olam and shalom, where repair connects with equity. This chapter explores the idea of jubilee and what it means to have one's life repaired or restored. With adoption in mind, she suggests that "adoption enacts shalom for all of us" (p. 122). Adoption is, she suggests, "one way to strengthen the neighborhood" (p. 123). Adoption is ultimately about inclusion and welcome. This is a vision we truly need at this moment!
Repair leads to return, that search for our first home or mother. This is not, she suggests, lack of gratitude to adoptive parents, it is simply a recognition that we all long to know our roots. Those might be spiritual roots, or familial, but we have this desire, this longing for answers. But ultimately, there is the longing for the world that God envisions for us, that holy mountain or new city envisioned by Isaiah. Finally, we come to the concluding chapter, titled "relatives." We bring to a close the conversation by reflecting on what it means to be a "real family." Here belonging is as strong as biology. What she believes is that we can, whether adopted or not, we can learn from those adopted about what it means to be family, what it means to belong in a way that transcends boundaries. She writes in the concluding paragraph that Jesus is the "Gathering God, the Adopted One who crosses boundaries to show us that we are all kin despite the ways we differe from each other and even from him. In this fractured world, we belong -- that's the truth that binds us to him, Our Father, who art in heaven" (p. 176).
Again, this is a beautifully written book that is revealing of a life lived as adopted child and adopted parent, but also of the potential for the world if we understand what it means to be adopted by God. This is God's desire, but there is need for reciprocity, for adopting God, and then maybe we'll be ready to be restored to wholeness.
gigiinzim's review against another edition
4.0
I thoroughly enjoyed this book by Kelly Nikondeha. She is a wonderful writer. In this book that any adoptive family will benefit from, she weaves together her personal narrative with Biblical narrative and thoughts on theology. I didn't agree with everything in this book but I enjoyed hearing her opinions none the less. This book is encouraging and enjoyable, she hits her target audience perfectly.
The publisher provided an ARC through Netgalley. I have voluntarily decided to read and review, giving my personal opinions and thoughts
The publisher provided an ARC through Netgalley. I have voluntarily decided to read and review, giving my personal opinions and thoughts
karibaumann's review against another edition
4.0
I love a book that explores a metaphor about God (think Keeping the Feast by Milton Brasher-Cunningham or Consider the Birds by Debbie Blue or Wearing God by Lauren Winner). This one talks about adoption in beautiful ways for everyone - welcome and belonging and hospitality. I will be thinking about it for a while.
jenniclaar's review against another edition
5.0
*** I was lucky to receive an advanced copy from the publisher for an honest review.
It's not often that I come across authors who challenge and inspire me to re-examine my worldview and theological understanding with such grace and honesty. Kelley writes a compelling work threaded with beautiful stories from her rich experience and deep Scriptural truths to help her readers reimagine their adoption paradigm. Since she can speak both as an adopted daughter and mother to her own adopted children, her wisdom crosses both sides of the narrative. I finished this book with a rekindled excitement and anticipation for the ways Kingdom is being built here on earth through adoptive qualities like durable hospitality, redemption through interconnectedness, and partnering with God's Shalom initiative. I know I will be unpacking much of this book for years to come.
It's not often that I come across authors who challenge and inspire me to re-examine my worldview and theological understanding with such grace and honesty. Kelley writes a compelling work threaded with beautiful stories from her rich experience and deep Scriptural truths to help her readers reimagine their adoption paradigm. Since she can speak both as an adopted daughter and mother to her own adopted children, her wisdom crosses both sides of the narrative. I finished this book with a rekindled excitement and anticipation for the ways Kingdom is being built here on earth through adoptive qualities like durable hospitality, redemption through interconnectedness, and partnering with God's Shalom initiative. I know I will be unpacking much of this book for years to come.
revseminarian's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
katebelt's review against another edition
5.0
The author awas adopted as an infant. She and her Burundian husband adopted two children from a Burundian orphanage. I loved this book, which presents adoption as an aspect of hospitality that goes much further than bringing a child not birthed into one’s family into a forever home. We practice adoption by making a bigger table for those around us, especially those who might be outcast or isolated. After reading Ben Daniel’s Neighbors: Christian Encounters with “Illegal” Immigration, I recognized that the Bible is one immigration story after another. After reading this book, I recognize that it is also one adoption story after another, these major themes being intertwined. One of her many illustrations is from one of my favorite Bible stories in the Hebrew scriptures, the book of Ruth. Ruth is not only tolerated and provided for as an immigrant to her mother in law’s land, but is adopted as a full member into her Hebrew community. Nikondeha’s point is that all of creation is of one family, and our broken world would be healed if we treated one another as such, assuring that all have enough to sustain life & are welcomed into family and into community. She points out toward the end of the book that asking adoptees, of any age, about their real or natural families, treating adoption as unnatural, hurts. She writes: “The supra-natural truth that adoption demonstrates is that any child could be mind if I welcome them ... any woman could be my mother, my sister .... the words of Jesus ring in my ears.”
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