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readhumanbean's review
I will be logging audiobooks as well. Sorry!!
I listened to this at 1.25x speed and rented it from my local library (LAPL) on Libby, essentially creating a Trojan Horse for podcasts.
I’ll certainly continue this method for reading within the pop psych genre, making it all the more seamless to zone out when they have the guile and courage to reference…get this…the Stanford Prison Experiment??
Which is a sin this book is NOT guilty of, mind you. Worth listening/reading to no matter your specific level of parental dysfunction. I finished this book before getting my curtain rod back up.
I listened to this at 1.25x speed and rented it from my local library (LAPL) on Libby, essentially creating a Trojan Horse for podcasts.
I’ll certainly continue this method for reading within the pop psych genre, making it all the more seamless to zone out when they have the guile and courage to reference…get this…the Stanford Prison Experiment??
Which is a sin this book is NOT guilty of, mind you. Worth listening/reading to no matter your specific level of parental dysfunction. I finished this book before getting my curtain rod back up.
mxunsmiley's review
4.0
Life changing book!! Made me have many realizations, though I think the reliance on stories from clients was a bit too intrusive a lot of the time. Can’t really articulate how important this book is to me except through this quote from the epilogue: “To be aware and present at the birth of your new self as an adult is pretty incredible stuff. How many people get to be awake and aware for the emergence of the person they were always meant to be? How many people get to have two lifetimes in one?” Maybe dramatic because it takes a lot more work than a single book to change your ways but while it did hurt a lot to have things confirmed (as the book acknowledges), I do prefer that I woke up to them rather than avoid them for the rest of my life because it was “normal” or “the way things are.”
I will say, though, that the author assumes the children of emotionally immature parents are all emotionally mature themselves. Wouldn’t some of that emotional immaturity pass on, in a maladaptive and involuntary way? I can see this through how she describes externalizers, but while I am an internalizer, I can see emotional immaturity in myself that I’ve exhibited in the past and sometimes do still exhibit. I think she did acknowledge that internalizers may have externalizing behavior when things become too much, or lean more toward externalization at some period of their life or other (most probably in stress or desperation)… so maybe that’s where it comes from.
I can also see how this is very cyclical. Emotional immaturity has to come from somewhere and most likely it also originated in their own childhoods. I’d love to see an exploration of that, this implication that trauma in this vein is generational and seemingly perpetual until someone finally notices through their own suffering and breaks the cycle themselves. It seems to be a powerful force for change with a new generation.
I will say, though, that the author assumes the children of emotionally immature parents are all emotionally mature themselves. Wouldn’t some of that emotional immaturity pass on, in a maladaptive and involuntary way? I can see this through how she describes externalizers, but while I am an internalizer, I can see emotional immaturity in myself that I’ve exhibited in the past and sometimes do still exhibit. I think she did acknowledge that internalizers may have externalizing behavior when things become too much, or lean more toward externalization at some period of their life or other (most probably in stress or desperation)… so maybe that’s where it comes from.
I can also see how this is very cyclical. Emotional immaturity has to come from somewhere and most likely it also originated in their own childhoods. I’d love to see an exploration of that, this implication that trauma in this vein is generational and seemingly perpetual until someone finally notices through their own suffering and breaks the cycle themselves. It seems to be a powerful force for change with a new generation.
katelynchilds's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
maggiekateb's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
tense
slow-paced
5.0
this was ROUGH.
enbylievable's review
5.0
This is probably the best self-help book I've ever read. I strongly, strongly recommend it to anyone who is struggling with relationship anxiety or depression, even if you think your parents "weren't that bad." This book even taught me skillsets that I can use during my interactions with strangers, customers at work, friends, and neighbors. All around, it lays out in delightfully simple language how you can take back control of your emotions and stop letting other people make you feel like shit.
indoorcat23's review
I wanted to read this to better understand one parent but it applied far more to the other parent who I prefer to never think about ever.